Is it normal to become bored and fed up with a relationship?

tea_lover

Not much to add but your post really struck a chord with me. My ex was a complete tool when I had a m/c (following fertility treatment, which he was also less than helpful during). There were many reasons why we split up but his behaviour following the m/c was the one thing I just couldn't get past. It totally changed my feelings for him.

None of which is particularly helpful I realise!

swingaloo

Just thought there was something familiar with this thread so Ive looked back at your old threads.

You were posting the same thing about being dissatisfied with your relationship 12 months ago. As things dont seem to have improved I would take steps to get out of this relationship. Life is too short to feel like you do.

clw1

You are 24 and have been in this relationship since you were 17 so no no doubt you have both grown and changed a huge amount in this time. Perhaps the relationship hasn't moved on to cope with this ?? You mention that you have a child together so perhaps it is worth having some relationship counseling to see if you can get past this - would your OH agree to go ?

Also as some of the others have said I would wait until a few months after you get "home" before you decide what to do.

duchy

Caleb11 wrote: »

No offence taken - I agree.

His parents died 6 months into our relationship. He had no where to go so he moved in with me at my parents. That wasn't ideal so we rented a flat after about 6 months.

So we have been pretty serious from the beginning but not really because we both wanted it. It just sort of happened.

You've been together a long time and have a child........yet there's no mention of marriage. Which one of you (or maybe both or neither of you) doesn't see it as the next logical step ?

If he vanished off the face of the earth tomorrow - would you be devestated ....or slightly relieved ?

You got together when you were very young - Is he a lot older than you ?

I was first married at 19 - but even then I wouldn't have dreamed of my husband not allowing me to go somewhere. Discuss yes - especially if costs were involved or it impacted on him in some way - but the ultimate decision was mine as an equal member of our partnership.

If you didn't want him to go out - and said so-what would happen ?

EDIT I wrote this earlier today so some of the questions about marriage are answered - but the others still stand.

elisebutt65

Caleb11 wrote: »

After asking for marriage for the last year and being told no, he wasn't ready, it's a waste of money etc. He is now saying he'll marry me now I tell him I'm not happy and won't be buying another house. But I feel like I'm twisting his arm and it just doesn't feel right now.

Funny how he is coming around to the idea of marriage now. If you're married with your own house, that house then becomes a marital asset and he can claim half of it. Or half the proceeds of the sale.
Or am I just cynical?

Caleb11

..,,..........

busiscoming2

Caleb11 wrote: »

Well although the house is only in my name, the deposit and any money gained for the house sale would be split as I didn't buy the house on my own. We bought it together. It would be in both our names of his credit rating wasn't so bad. So I don't think that's why he's now changing his mind.

He's changing his mind because I'm now unhappy and telling him I don't know what I want to do in the relationship and he thinks marrying me will change that. But it's tainted now so I don't know its just a mess.

I came home from work tonight and he said he isn't going to be messed around anymore. I either make up my mind what I want or we split up. Even if I do decide to stay I feel ill always pay the consequence of beig unsure. Like our relationship will never be the same as he'll always know I was going to leave.

I literally feel like it's ruined no matter what.

Reading your previous posts I got the impression you had made up your mind: to take your house off the market and move back there.


Why don't you and your son move back to the house sooner rather than later and when he moves back (would he still do this?) ask him to rent somewhere separately and see how you feel about each other at this point? Perhaps living apart will clarify your feelings for the long term?

Caleb11

................

Alias_Omega

3 children, 1 dog, 2 rabbits, several fish....2 houses (mortgages/rental)... 2 cars.. Mrs AO is a Student @University and I work.

Mrs AO seems to spend all the £££ (she manages bills etc) and I tend to see £50-100 a month from my wages. The children are always screaming/shouting/fighting with each other and we never seem to go anywhere or do anything.

This can be a bit of a drag sometimes, and often we have arguments (she shouts/I don't listen)... That's the ups and downs of a relationship.... and one day when she is qualified I can enjoy my life...

Would I leave because we are "Bored"....We just need to spend some time together...do the things we did before the children come along..

justme111

Caleb11 wrote: »

I have decided not to sell but he means in terms of the relationship, I need to decide what I want instead of messing him around.

So what don't you want then ?