Daring Myself to do this

Kitten868

Thank you. I'm sorry I'm such a misery. I'm trying to admit to myself in real life that I'm having a problem so I can get over it.
*Ive returned to work and me & the girls are struggling with the change
*Going on the girly holiday has made me feel more isolated than ever. I always felt like when the girls were a bit bigger my social life would improve but now I feel like they don't get me anymore
*Hubby isn't happy and is not home now til July. I cope by knowing he's having fun so now I know he's miserable I can't be ok with him not being here. We haven't even spoken on the phone since he left. Not even on my birthday.
*Getting cabin fever as no money to go out and getting out is such a bloody drama. And the park is being fixed.
*Not progressing with money despite having no life
*dd2 is having it rough with teething and it's driving me mad all the crying and whinging when I can't do anything to make it better
*i know we can't buy a house but I can't keep living here

I'm struggling with ocd and feeling low. Rather than continuing feeling the same way I'm trying to fight it but it's hard because there's not one thing I can fix or ignore! And then there's the health issues that can just !!!!!! right off.
I'll try and improve my tone for you lovely people as you're all being so kind to me. I'm really grateful for that
So debt made in hubbys credit card and I'm set up now to not use it. So we should get it right down this month xxxx

chanie

It's fine to feel low sometimes, we all feel that way. Don't forget the positives:

* 2 beautiful girls and a husband who loves you.
* parents who have seen how well you are coping
* a home - it may not be a palace, but it's home
* a job
* the determination you've demonstrated to improve your circumstances
* resilience to cope by yourself for long periods of time

Kitten868

Thank you chanie xxxxx

chanie

I hope you have woken up feeling a bit more positive, this morning. I think everyone has days when they feel crappy, but its normal to feel that way so don't be hard on yourself.

Kitten868

Well it's been going on a few weeks now. But everyday I wake up and be positive. I am aware of mental health issues and force myself to be positive, try to talk to people and ignore that stupid voice in my head. It's just getting louder.
I do appreciate all the people I have today we have to go to the shops. Nappies jam and dinner. And then I'm going to my mums for the weekend.
Thanks chanie x

kirtsypoos

Hope you have a lovely weekend at your mums Kitten.

It's easier said than done, but chin up - you are doing brilliantly, and Chanie's list is fab

note3

Hey hun sorry been awol recently, had lots on and this month was one if my children's birthdays so I've been busy working on that and on trying to sell to get money to fund it!

Sorry to see you're having a rough time. Set yourself small steps to get things changed or just to get you through. If getting out is a mission work out why so you can address it. For instance when my two eldest were little I'd have to get the bag and their outfits ready the day before inc snacks and drinks else my stress levels were unbelievable trying to do it with them around me making demands.

Kitten868

Yes note! I've missed you! Hope you pulled enough money out of thin air
Getting out of the flat is a stress because I have to carry dd2 and all the stuff and hold dd1s hand down steep concrete stairs and around the building in the pee down rain to the car. Or for a walk carry the pram down the stairs then get dd1. Can't really afford the chiropractor at the moment and my back is a mess and my arms ache and burn. The only solution is buying a house. I have considered building a slide out of my window.
We bought the flat off plan and the plans had a ramp when we bought. The ramp was taken down a month after we moved in. In case you think I'm an idiot. I do feel like one.
I feel better and worse. Prince is dead . We've spent all day dancing to prince . Dd1 is the best dancer. I adore her!
We went shopping and they used my £5 off of £60 voucher for a £30 shop. Get in!
Plus time to get a new phone! No more rinsing £40 on nothing! Any recommendations let me know. I want a good camera.
I tried to cancel a little early. It was all good til I said my budget. B******s! Fair cop though. Toying with getting a new number due to all the PPI. But I know this number! What do you reckon?
Xxxx

note3

I know...gutted about Prince! This yr the grim reaper seems unusually focused on celebs!

Nope sadly not learnt enough to cover her bday but I'm continuing to plug away as I've done better than hoped on the extra earnings (lucky 25 squid Lotto win!)

I need to cancel phone too...moving to sim only and saving 18 a mth as a result. Do you definitely need a new phone?

Naughty that they took ramp away.

Could you tweak things to make life easier for getting out:
- backpack for change bag to free up hands and make things less hazardous
- leaving pram in car and could put youngest in carrier to take her down steps to free your hands

Kitten868

Aw thanks note - she's too heavy for the carrier. And I've bought the lightest pram I could afford.

Sorry you've not raised enough money. So annoying! There is no rhyme or reason to eBay!

I do need a new phone. I have an iPhone. It's appalling. No battery life at all. And I'm only thinking of a £12 a month phone - tiny bit more than sim only. And I will sell the iPhone so that should hopefully get me £100.
Xxx