Daring Myself to do this

Kitten868

The more I read on this forum the more I never want to buy a cat. Everyone on here seems to have a few and it sounds like they cost more than a car!
I think all the washing is done (had to do a lot of it twice due to poo). Not dried though.
Feel like I need another big declutter but I think the issue is the bags filling the hall to be donated to Kenya. My sister is collecting stuff for her school but not great at collecting the stuff. Once they're gone I'll feel better. And another bag for charity and some baby cereal for the food bank. I'm sure I'll be sticking a few more items in the Kenya pile through the week.
I am getting money for my birthday on the strict instruction I'm not allowed to pay any debts and I have to buy clothes. To be honest I do need clothes. Mine are all worn to death. Going shopping tomorrow and hoping for some success so I can just empty my wardrobe into another Kenya bag. Feeling better donating it all rather than selling it all. Got a bag from a friend too. And convinced hubby to part with a bag too. They'll be getting a variety that's sure. Men's, women's and children's clothes.
I think the kids are finally asleep so off to bed for me now. Love you all xxxx

Kitten868

Oh Chanie thank you. I don't think they realised how difficult they made it to do what I needed to for my girls or how hurtful their comments were. So I didn't kick off.
I don't feel like I deserved every penny as it was money I didn't want to spend - paying towards numerous bottles of prosecco and tequila and food me and the kids don't eat (they didn't even include the kids on meals and I had to eat alone with them or starve). I know I'm just being mean and I got a holiday for free so should shut up. It's just nice to get it off my chest here so I don't snap at them. X

chanie

I guess, as it was 'free' holiday, you felt like you couldn't say anything. However, I think that in this moment in time, your life styles aren't compatible to have a successful holiday together, particularly as you have young children.

Kitten868

Going through a pretty rubbishy time. Just miserable missing hubby. Plus dd2 is going through this grizzly miserable phase. It's bringing me down and showing me how rubbish a mum I am. I think it's because cosleeping isn't working for us anymore. And teething. So I'm having to do the cry it out method. I hate it. It's so not how I parent. We're on the third night and she's still grizzling. How is it other people's kids just fall asleep anywhere and my child will cry for 4 hours?!?
It's just a phase. It's just a phase. It's just a phase.
Counting down the days to pay day to try and see how much difference I can make to these credit cards.
Went and bought some clothes for my birthday. Really lovely I fit in Hollister!! Admittedly a L but I'm in! Even the staff seemed shocked. B******s!! Just love the clothes. So much prettier than the boring fashion now though. So I feel happy with that.
Cannot believe my washing pile
Just waiting for miss to fall asleep so I can. Bed is calling big time!! X

kirtsypoos

Oh Kitten, you are so far from a rubbish mum it's unbelievable! You are doing your absolute best on all fronts to make sure your girls are happy, healthy and have treats - all while they are missing Daddy and you are too! You're like wonderwoman, so stop beating yourself up. You do a great job, and sometimes you just need to be told. So consider yourself told missy!

I hope DD2 gets through this phase nice and quickly for you, parenting styles change from child to child (or so I'm told!) My mom said she was a completely different type of mom to me than my little sister while she was a toddler because we reacted differently.

Sending you big hugs, it must be awful to be missing hubs but by the time he comes back next, you'll have made an even bigger dent in the CCs - try and focus on that at the moment. One day at a time

Kitten868

Oh thanks Kirsty. Yes he's going to be coming home to less debt so that's good. Thank you for being so supportive. It really means a lot to me. I love all the compliments Wonder Woman I will take haha
I keep thinking to myself as long as I don't increase the debt I'm still doing better than he ever did. So definitely winning.
I forgot about child benefit. That was nice to find in my account today and swoop straight off the credit card as I hadn't budgeted in to the month
Child tax credits have gone up and I'm really worried lol x

Kitten868

This credit card im paying at the moment feels impossible! The balance just never seems to reduce! I don't know how. Still though pay day tomorrow and hubbys pay day soon. Fingers crossed to make a massive dent in it. I was hoping to have it paid off on hubbys pay day.
Everyone has given me money this year for my birthday on strict instruction it is to be spent not paid off. But I don't know what to buy - I've spent some of it. So I've opened a savings account. Which doesn't feel right. But my mum will lynch me if I do what I want to. I just haven't lost the weight yet. Flipping implant! And I can't stop breastfeeding yet. As soon as I do its new bras for me! I'm ready to empty my underwear drawer into the bin.
I feel guilty for wanting to stop breastfeeding as I bf dd1 to 14 months - my milk stopped as I was pregnant.
I'm still here and I'm still doing this. And I will battle on xxxx

reality_check

Hope you're feeling a bit better. I think you're doing fantastic, I lived at home with my parents and my ex husband when my daughter was born and with all that help and only one it was a struggle, so I really admire you.

Def keep your birthday money for you and only spending on you. We spend so much on kids, bills etc its easy to forget yourself along the way. I love buying new underwear, not that anyone gets to see it really lol

Roll on pay day and making some dents towards the debt will cheer you up!! xx

Kitten868

Thank you reality check that's a really kind thing to say.
Got my birthday money in a 5% account. I really quite like having savings so I'm happy to leave it there I think. Til my hair needs cutting.
So it's payday and it's all gone already. That's the thing. Any money I get ive already spent. Need to update my signature but it's not overly impressive as it's all gone to hubbys credit card.
Really want this particular card gone so I can focus on my card again. Going to be fantastic when I just owe my mum. Then with no other creditors I can just get rid of it super quick just can't wait to start making payments to her so I don't feel quite as much as a disgrace. Xxxx

kirtsypoos

Kitten, you aren't a disgrace!

I know the debt spiral can have a massive affect on your self esteem, but you need to start looking at how well you've done and build up your confidence. You CAN do this, you AREN'T a disgrace and you are a GREAT mommy