Daring Myself to do this

Kitten868

No I'm with you chanie! Benefit cheats pale in insignificance compared to big business tax dodging - the whole thing is messed up.
Its just a sore issue with me.
Very happy I get the nine months no one else I talk to gets just SMP - they all get way more and still moan! Lol

Kitten868

She's ripped me off to be honest. She said barely played with. These toys are very played with. I've got all the sticky off of most of it. But some of the stickers are gone see what I can do with the rest of it. Way overcharged. Never mind.
X

chanie

You'll hate me then!!!! I got 4 months full pay. I still had to go back to work before the 9 months were up as I'm the higher earner and we couldn't survive on OHs salary!! It's taken me a long time, but I have a much better balance now.

There are lots of injustices that wind me up, but over the last few years, I've come to realise that there is no point in wasting energy on something I can't change. I try and focus on trying to be happy with the things I have.

Kitten868

So sleep deprivation and inaction have kept me away from my diary. Getting fed up waiting for pay day. Feels rubbish waiting. I've done the sums a thousand times. Worked out I can clear off the fee charging part this month so that'll be great. Then March pay I'll annihilate my Tesco card.
Been naughty and spent some money on myself. It's stupid as I've ordered 4 pairs of trousers and I'm only keeping one pair and I had a gift card so it'll only cost £7 and a pair of shoes half price in the sale anf I'll get the money back from Christmas money. So I'm being stupid. I feel like I spent £110 but in reality I spent £35. Once I get the refunds anyway.
I would love to go shopping and get nice things. But I can't as the girls hate it. Unless I'm shopping for them. Have to do everything online which I'm useless at. But good for quidco and discount I guess.
Just don't want to be the yucky mummy anymore. Maybe I'll make friends if I look normal x

lilmissmup

Ah bless you hun. Hope the clothes make you feel a million dollars!

chanie

Kitten, please stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing a marvellous job, even more so as your DH is away and you are having to do everything by yourself.


I do think its important to spend a bit of money on yourself and its not something you should feel bad about. I do think there is something in the saying 'happy mum, happy children' so don't forget about yourself.


Like you, I'm waiting for pay day too. When I get paid, I take out a certain amount of money and give myself a weekly allocation. It means I always have a little bit of money even if I'm running short. I use it for the occasional lunch at work, milk/bread top ups etc. Any money that's left over, I save for treats. It works really well for me.

Kitten868

You're too kind to me chanie and LMM thank you. I guess it just feels like a slippery slope as even little spends seem to mean debts. I'm just going through that phase where I want to be a woman again. Not just this milk vomit drenched bogies on my knee yucky mummy. Nearly chopped all my hair off... Why is it always so tempting? I'm on a 'diet' pretty much just don't eat chocolate - I don't eat rubbish just normal food and loads of chocolate (to make up for oh being away) so no chocolate and the first week I've lost 4lb!! How much chocolate was I eating?! Haha I've had my hair done today (Christmas money) and feel good for having it done and to chat to adults. Felt so weird not having any babies with me for 2 whole hours. Trying to build it up for my return to work.
Finally having the wardrobe picked up tomorrow! Really inconvenient time but I just don't care anymore.
I'm aiming to lose a stone and a bit for when he comes home. And for myself. To fit in my clothes and feel like me before babies physically. Which is going to take a fair amount of work at the chiropractor too. Seriously need to go - I'm in agony all the time but it's cheaper to pay in blocks and I can't afford it that way.
I've been reading about these vampire breast lifts. Sound very tempting. Three years of breastfeeding so far I think I deserve it and need it. Lol
I need to sleep. Up at 11, 12.30, 2-5 and 6 last night. I haven't slept properly this year think I'm delusional and rambling. Night all! I'll be back no doubt at 3am x

chanie

That's fab news about your weightloss!!!


I hope you managed to get some sleep, following the late nights you have had recently.

Florence_J

Keep going Kitten, don't feel bad when you treat yourself-it will keep you sane in the long run-well done on the weight loss, i'm hoping for a good result next week. I've been re-reading your diary fir inspiration.

Kitten868

So very excited to have pay day tomorrow! It's embarrassing. And 15 things ending on eBay on Sunday. Let's hope to make big bucks! Really loving the 1 item a day thread. Nice to have people to do it with. Get taken the mick out of in real life.
Wardrobe is gone!! Forget what I said about small flat - it feels gigantic now! And once my sales pile goes all the bigger! Til I find a load more stuff to flog hahaha
Got my aunty coming round tomorrow so hopefully get some housework done.
Stay strong FJ we can do this x