POLL: Would you appreciate a public wedding proposal?

SailorSam

I just wish someone would propose, i'll take whatever i could get.

Pollycat

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's VERY poor etiquette to do a major announcement at somebody else's special party.

As above :T
Regardless of whether the person being asked would like to be proposed to in this public way, have you and your friends been debating what your parents would think about their special party being upstaged in this way?

Apart from the fall-out should she say 'no', I can see the atmosphere changing at the party because I'm sure lots of people would be muttering and tut-tutting about taking the limelight away from the people whose party it is.

If he wants to propose in public, why doesn't he get a loud hailer and do it in Oxford Street on a Saturday morning?

pigpen

I'd give a flat out no to a public proposal.. It would show not only that he does not know me in the slightest but also that he doesn't give a toss about my feelings.. He would probably also be dumped on the spot!!

duchy

I'm sorry Lily but I just don't feel that way about you.........


Whilst I agree it is horribly bad form to do it at someone else's occasion in the example you've cited if the parents are very family orientated and are desperate for the couple to get married, give them grandchildren -whatever - then they might be absoutely thrilled to make their family event even more special .....or they might not be. I think it depends on the family dynamic - for some it would be wonderful for others it would spoil it.

In general - I think there's the genuine proposal when one person is genuinely asking the other person to marry them ....and then there is the manufactuered proposal where the couple have already agreed they will marry and it's like a show event - at a special location, with ring amd or some other way to make it a memorable event and often a very photographic event. (I don't really get the second type tbh though)

Artytarty

This is a very interesting thread t me at the moment! I'm gavelling to London next weekend with other family members to witness to proposal of daughters boyfriend at Ally Pally(?) I have no doubt she will be very surprised and delighted however. they are having a romantic walk and lunch tgether first. Then we'll have a few dunks in he afternoon and he's bled a table at a nice rataurant for us all in the evning. peraonally I think in private is nicer but this is what he wants to do and he knows her well. The pressure of not accidentally letting it slip is tough!

maman

peachyprice wrote: »

I don't think there's anything wrong with public proposals as long as the proposer is 100% sure that it is what the proposee would like, which hopefully if they're sure enough to want to spend they rest of their lives with them they would. If you're the kind of person who would hate that I'd like to think the person wanting to marry you would know that already.

However, to do it as somebody else's celebration party? What awful manners and so very, very tacky.

I agree with this. You'd need to almost 100% sure of the response before asking. I've been at 2 public proposals and both are still living happily ever after some 20 years down the line.


Definitely don't steal someone else's thunder by doing it at their party though. That would be selfish as the occasion would be remembered for the proposal rather than the Ruby Wedding and that's not fair however much parents say it is.

Artytarty wrote: »

This is a very interesting thread t me at the moment! I'm gavelling to London next weekend with other family members to witness to proposal of daughters boyfriend at Ally Pally(?) I have no doubt she will be very surprised and delighted however. they are having a romantic walk and lunch tgether first. Then we'll have a few dunks in he afternoon and he's bled a table at a nice rataurant for us all in the evning. peraonally I think in private is nicer but this is what he wants to do and he knows her well. The pressure of not accidentally letting it slip is tough!

Are you sure you haven't had a few dunks already?:rotfl:

tara747

A public proposal????????? UGH.:eek:

At someone else's anniversary party??????????????????? 100% rude, self-centred and tacky.

Awful, awful, awful.

So, to sum up, no. :rotfl:

Tiny_red_halo wrote: »

I think a public proposal is a beautiful moment. I watch proposal videos on youtube. If ever someone proposes to me, I would like it to be in a public place.

What??? What's a proposal video? :eek:

Pollycat

Tiny_red_halo wrote: »

I think a public proposal is a beautiful moment. I watch proposal videos on youtube. If ever someone proposes to me, I would like it to be in a public place.

Just curious why you would want it to be in a public place?
Don't you consider a marriage proposal to be something special between 2 people rather than entertainment for a crowd of gawking on-lookers?

Artytarty

Ha! No, I've not been dunking yet! rather poor eyesight.

Lily-Rose_3

dragonette wrote: »

Even with the best of intentions behind it, it always seems manipulative to me. Very, very few people would feel able to say no at a public proposal, and that makes it harder to say no afterwards.

In fact, I'm contrary by nature. A public proposal would be the perfect way to ensure the relationship ended, I simply couldn't be with anyone who knew me so poorly.

Sorry, just read the OP again - at someone's ruby anniversary?? Hideous bad manners and a total lack of consideration to disrupt other peoples' social event.

Might it be worth showing this to the young man in question? If he is madly in love then he possibly hasn't thought of these issues.

duchy wrote: »

I'm sorry Lily but I just don't feel that way about you.........


Whilst I agree it is horribly bad form to do it at someone else's occasion in the example you've cited if the parents are very family orientated and are desperate for the couple to get married, give them grandchildren -whatever - then they might be absolutely thrilled to make their family event even more special .....or they might not be. I think it depends on the family dynamic - for some it would be wonderful for others it would spoil it.

Oh... How upsetting Duchy...

tara747 wrote: »

A public proposal????????? UGH.:eek:

At someone else's anniversary party??????????????????? 100% rude, self-centred and tacky. Awful, awful, awful. So, to sum up, no. :rotfl:

Wow a LOT of people would not like it. I am quite shocked. Although I would hate it myself, I thought that around a quarter of people would like it.

A lot of people are saying how disgusting it is that he wants to do it at the parents Ruby Wedding anniversary, but as I said in my post number... 8, he has cleared it with them. He asked them if it would be OK to do it, and they are OK with it. (Well they said they are anyway.)

People must not have noticed my post there.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=69466962&postcount=8

Still, it's still massively tacky isn't it?

Thanks for your contributions folks. (And for voting!)