POLL: Would you appreciate a public wedding proposal?

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A bit of a debate going on with me and a couple of friends right now.

One of my friends has a brother who is thinking of proposing publicly to his girlfriend of 3 years (they are 29.) He is planning on doing it at his parents Ruby Wedding anniversary party in December.

Frankly I can't think of anything worse than my OH proposing in front of the world, and think it should be a private affair.

What do you guys/gals think?
Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!


You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more! :D

Would you appreciate a public marriage proposal? 169 votes

NO! I would be mortified. It should be a private affair between the 2 people.
81% 137 votes
I wouldn't mind if I had a public proposal, but wouldn't mind if they proposed privately either.
13% 23 votes
YES! I would love my partner to propose publicly.
2% 5 votes
Not sure
2% 4 votes
«134567

Comments

  • Jagraf
    Jagraf Posts: 2,462 Forumite
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    No it has to be private otherwise I can't concentrate on the answer :D
    Never again will the wolf get so close to my door :eek:
  • AubreyMac
    AubreyMac Posts: 1,723 Forumite
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    I think publicly is a bit like blackmail, how awful would if be if I wanted to say no so I'd have to say yes! Lol.

    But it does depend on the couple. I know someone who was proposed to when she was alone with her fianc! but she wanted him to propose again and this time do it more publicly. I think she feels that doing so publicly proves something.
  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
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    It's VERY poor etiquette to do a major announcement at somebody else's special party.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
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    Bad idea. Way too public and pressured and has the added 'bonus' of trying to overshadow somebody else's event.

    I was witness to a public proposal once, that started with a hesitant yes and ended with the 'fiancee' running out of the place in tears an hour later with her sister, and the 'fiance' spending the rest of the night getting blind drunk and badmouthing her. Not great.

    (Personally I think the concept of a proposal is mad enough in and of itself, and don't understand why the tradition has lingered.)
  • AubreyMac
    AubreyMac Posts: 1,723 Forumite
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    It's VERY poor etiquette to do a major announcement at somebody else's special party.

    I think so too. I know a couple who got engaged at one of their parents big anniversary. But his thinking of doing so is to one day celebrate that anniversary himself as the celebration was about a long marriage anyway so I kinda understand it.
  • Georgiegirl256
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    I would absolutely hate a public proposal :eek: Besides that, it is very poor form to do it at someone's else's event. The attention should be purely on the couple celebrating their ruby wedding.
  • Lily-Rose_3
    Lily-Rose_3 Posts: 2,732 Forumite
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    You folks are saying exactly what I said LOL! It's just hideous, a public proposal, and you would HAVE to say yes, wouldn't you? I would, and then the next day I would say 'no sorry....' And then suggest we make up something in a few weeks, that made out we BOTH decided to not get married yet.

    For the record though, the brother has actually cleared it with his mom and dad, to do this at their Ruby party... They are the only ones who know he is going to do it... well and his sister and me and her other friend now LOL! Wouldn't surprise me if it doesn't get back to the would-be bride before December.

    Does seem a bit tacky though to do it at someone's party. :(

    Well, I say the parents are OK with it, but they may just be saying this...Maybe they feel they have to say yes to him doing it.

    One girl I know had her husband (to be) propose at her friend's wedding, and this friend was all smiley and said 'haha well done, congrats and all that...' And it turned out she was INCENSED that it happened at HER wedding. She felt she was upstaged on her big day!!!

    Ooops. :o I am not sure they even speak anymore. :rotfl:
    Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!


    You're not singing anymore........ You're not singing any-more! :D
  • shoe*diva79
    shoe*diva79 Posts: 1,356 Forumite
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    I was proposed to on stage at The Brighton Centre with Jimmy Carr. My (now ex!) husband had originally contacted the venue to ask if he could get up on stage during the interval. They needed to ask Jimmy's people who contacted ex and ask if Jimmy could write it into his show which is what then happened. It was all organised over 3-4 months behind my back and was a total shock to me.

    I was mortified and it has crossed my mind that I felt I could not say no, but it was also pretty cool and altho we are now divorced, ill never forget all the effort he went to.
  • DigForVictory
    DigForVictory Posts: 11,912 Forumite
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    I'm reasonably happy with a public wedding.
    The proposal? I want space to think, & the freedom to say no without breaching every scruple of courtesy I was raised with.
    The big splashy proposal? Ulp. Presumably to be followed by a big flashy wedding? Then the quietly vicious divorce - no, good things happen nurtured by privacy.

    Plus, at anyone's wedding anniversary? Not the article, even with the original couple's consent. Buy them some nice bubbly, and maybe share a glass with the special person...
  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,929 Forumite
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    I had a proposal in public and loved it. But it wasn't at another's event, that would be horrid and very bad form.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
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