posting photos of children on FB

onomatopoeia99

SanguineSteve wrote: »

If you check the T's & C's, which you have hereby agreed to, once you upload an image to Facebook, it becomes their property. They could use it for anything they like.

No, it doesn't, and no, they can't.

Certain rights are granted to facebook in respect of photos that are uploaded else they couldn't render them to the people that the uploader says they can be shared with. Those rights do not include ownership of the copyright and the term that grants those rights says "subject to your privacy and appliciation settings".

comeandgo

What do you mean by some of the photos are "artistic"? I am of the opinion that no photos are in a good place on Facebook. I asked my family not to put any of my wedding photos on and they did oblige. if any photos need to be exchanged then they are e mailed.

Just a thought, are you using them as advertising for your new hobby, you have mentioned this a few times in your posts.

l3xi

Artistic... like some of these:
http://digital-photography-school.com/cut-the-cheese-5-tips-for-photographing-kids/

I'm not doing any advertising of any kind, I'm an amateur photographer, I've only exhibited twice, a long time ago. Photography as a hobby took a back seat due to me becoming a mother and working full time. Sadly.

Petra_70

duchy wrote: »

Morally.....

Suppose it was the other way around and your child lived with your husband and it was you not wanting your children on FB and he refused to respect your wishes. Would you feel as the child's parent your wishes should be respected ....or not ?

You can replace FB with anything else....... not wanting a child to eat fast food, not wanting them to attend a school with a religious affiliation etc The principle is the same -Do you respect the non resident parent's wishes or not.

If you want to maintain a respectful co parenting relationship - maybe it's a two way street. Ultimately posting photos or not is hardly a big deal -it's only facebook. It's not anything important !

This ^^^

I do think the OP needs to ask him why though. What reason does he not want the pics on FB? Everyone I know posts their kids pics on FB.

So ask him why specifically.....

Mojisola

l3xi wrote: »

I have friends and family in two different countries so I'll sometimes post photos of us on Facebook, perhaps 2-3 times per month, and it's usually one or two photos with us, rest are just nature/artistic.

You could set up a group email with all the people who currently see the photos on FB and send photos that way.

Friends and family still get to see the photos. Ex is happy that the children's photos aren't on FB.

l3xi

Mojisola wrote: »

You could set up a group email with all the people who currently see the photos on FB and send photos that way.

Friends and family still get to see the photos. Ex is happy that the children's photos aren't on FB.

I re-read all these messages - sorry Mojisola, not picking on yours specifically - and something doesn't leave my mind... so a lot of you think that a father who effectively declined most, if not all, of his responsibilities as a father, and all the hard work and efforts and commitments that come with raising a child (sorry, I don't think 15-min weekly Skype sessions count towards that, and holiday-wise looks like both 2015 and 2016 are entirely on me), still has moral grounds/rights to ask the other parent to change the way they share photos online, in a closed FB family-friends circle? (Never mind the insults in the request, which I learned to ignore, I refused a long time ago to be drawn into name calling and insulting, via email or otherwise).

I'm not trying to say that I'm right and he's wrong, I'm just genuinely surprised and this discussion definitely is making me reconsider/rethink my decision.

Btw, ex has just replied to my short email saying that I'm a loser for posting anything whatsoever on FB and that I didn't have a real life, and some other wonderful stuff. Completely uncalled for.... my earlier email was v short and super polite and fact-oriented, it essentially said it was my own business what and how I share online.

So yeah, now I think I need to be very mature and reasonable, take another deep breath (a 90-min yoga class would do he he), and ask him why is he actually bothered and try to offer the middle ground. And explain - once again - that they are decent photos and they aren't actually shared publicly.

swingaloo

If its such a problem wouldnt it be a good idea just to not post them. If you are into photography then there must be other subjects for you to use.

Would it really hurt not to put the children on. Obviously the relationship is strained to start with and to dig your heels in may just make things worse in the long run.

Guest101

I re-read all these messages - sorry Mojisola, not picking on yours specifically - and something doesn't leave my mind... so a lot of you think that a father who effectively declined most, if not all, of his responsibilities as a father, and all the hard work and efforts and commitments that come with raising a child (sorry, I don't think 15-min weekly Skype sessions count towards that, and holiday-wise looks like 2016 is entirely on me), still has moral grounds/rights to ask the other parent to change the way they share photos online, in a closed FB family-friends circle? - Yes. (Never mind the insults in the request, which I learned to ignore, I refused a long time ago to be drawn into name calling and insulting, via email or otherwise). - Good. This is about the child, not your former relationship, it's good you see that, even if he doesn't.

I'm not trying to say that I'm right and he's wrong, I'm just genuinely surprised and this discussion definitely is making me reconsider/rethink my decision. - It's good to get a neutral perspective. I'm sure if he posted here, he would have negative things to say about you. The advantage here is that most posters don't need the minute details to look at the bigger picture.

Btw, ex has just replied to my short email saying that I'm a loser for posting anything whatsoever on FB and that I didn't have a real life, and some other wonderful stuff. - I'm sure his life isn't so great either. Not that you are a loser, but I agree that I feel people who spend so much time on Facebook are missing out on actually living life. (for example that photo of the pensioner in the crowd, just admiring the scene - I think it was the queen - whilst everyone else is filming it) Completely uncalled for.... my earlier email was v short and super polite and fact-oriented, it essentially said it was my own business what and how I share online. - Which to me sounds quite argumentative. It sounds like you're saying, i'll do what I want and your opinion doesn't matter. Not saying he's right either, but clearly there's serious barriers to communication here.

So yeah, now I think I need to be very mature and reasonable, take another deep breath (a 90-min yoga class would do he he), and ask him why is he actually bothered and try to offer the middle ground. And explain - once again - that they are decent photos and they aren't actually shared publicly. - Even if not shared publically, your friends accounts might not be secure. There could be so many things. If I recall correctly a woman had a photo stolen from facebook and used to advertise a cheating website.


Good luck, hope it gets sorted.

duchy

Posting children's photos on FB is a fairly new thing.
For years people emailed photos to friends and family and I know people who still do as they don't see FB as such a safe medium.

So many people seem to live their lives on FB and insist on posting every detail.........others are more private. Neither is wrong but this isn't about FB it's about the OP not wanting her absent ex to have control or to make demands.

My advice would be you have a lot of parenting years ahead -pick your battles and decide how important this one is.

ricardinho88

In my experience, you can never make a FB profile 100% private. Even if you think it is, people can still view your profile pictures. That's why I can never quite understand why people have pictures of their children as their profile pictures. There is a way to view your profile through the eyes of someone else (whether they're your friends or a complete stranger), it's accessible on the desktop version of FB. You might be suprised what you can see.

As for your ex, I would have stuck with your original reponse (F off). It's your profile and they're your kids too, so you can do what you want.