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posting photos of children on FB

l3xi
Posts: 40 Forumite
Will try to keep this as short as I can... I'm single mother with a school age child. My ex has just moved overseas, in a country where we have a common friend. Ex messaged me this morning to ask me to stop posting photos of the child on Facebook because he doesn't want his child to be posted on Facebook. Apparently our common friend mentioned it to him that I posted two photos of our child from this weekend, and how cute the child is etc - the friend was acting completely normal, he wasn't aware of my ex's anti Facebook feelings.
The photos are from our local park, from our yesterday's walk in the park. I have friends and family in two different countries so I'll sometimes post photos of us on Facebook, perhaps 2-3 times per month, and it's usually one or two photos with us, rest are just nature/artistic.
Initially I felt really angry with his email (especially the tone, he has a penchant for using offensive words). My gut reaction was to say F off, but I held my breath and sent him a very polite text saying it's my business how I conduct my life and how much of it I share online. My account is friends-only (not even friends-of-friends). My ex is not friends with me on FB, so he can't see any of it, but some of his own extended family members are friends with me, and I don't mind that, they're nice and I'm happy to share with them.
What do you think about this? Does he have any right to request for the photos of our child to be removed? I think the answer is no as long as photos are decent, in public places, not giving any location info or other privacy info.... but I'd consider different opinions.
Just to illustrate, this is the type of photo I posted (and would normally post). It's a shutterstock photo, not mine
sample photo
Sorry for the lengthy message
PS. On a different note, I'm into photography as a hobby, including portrait photography, so some of these photos are 'artistic' (well I try, not sure how good they are
).
The photos are from our local park, from our yesterday's walk in the park. I have friends and family in two different countries so I'll sometimes post photos of us on Facebook, perhaps 2-3 times per month, and it's usually one or two photos with us, rest are just nature/artistic.
Initially I felt really angry with his email (especially the tone, he has a penchant for using offensive words). My gut reaction was to say F off, but I held my breath and sent him a very polite text saying it's my business how I conduct my life and how much of it I share online. My account is friends-only (not even friends-of-friends). My ex is not friends with me on FB, so he can't see any of it, but some of his own extended family members are friends with me, and I don't mind that, they're nice and I'm happy to share with them.
What do you think about this? Does he have any right to request for the photos of our child to be removed? I think the answer is no as long as photos are decent, in public places, not giving any location info or other privacy info.... but I'd consider different opinions.
Just to illustrate, this is the type of photo I posted (and would normally post). It's a shutterstock photo, not mine

sample photo
Sorry for the lengthy message

PS. On a different note, I'm into photography as a hobby, including portrait photography, so some of these photos are 'artistic' (well I try, not sure how good they are

CC debt Oct 2015: £11,700
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Comments
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I think the trouble is when posting any photographs on the internet, they can easily be copied or downloaded and there's no way of ensuring that only the intended people will view those photos.0
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Thanks Karo, I know that, so even thought my FB account is private/friends-only, I only share on it photos that I think are safe (i.e. if ever reposted anywhere it would not be a problem). For instance I never posted photos of us in a swim suit.
My question is more like... does he have any right (or moral grounds) to ask me to remove them or stop posting them?CC debt Oct 2015: £11,7000 -
Well.. I can see his point of view, but where he stands legally I don't know.0
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Legally - no. But legally I could take a picture of your child and the photo would belong to me. I could then post it on Facebook.
There is no expectation of privacy in public (at least in the UK) so anyone can take a picture of whatever they like in public (obviously indecent pictures are a big NO!)
Morally - I can see what he's getting at.0 -
Im not sure where he stands legally but I would say morally he has every right go have a say. Its his child as well and if he doesn't want photos of them posted on facebook then you should respect that surely?
Im one of these strange people who also doesnt allow photos of my child to go on facebook, despite having the highest privacy settings on my account also. Its my understanding, although I could be wrong, that as soon as one of my friends comments on/likes the photo then it is then visible to their friends etc.0 -
I wish my MIL would stop plastering photos of DD on fb. DH refuses to speak to her about it as he says it is only accessible to friends (I would say and acquaintances). This is from a child safety point of view.
I guess for your ex, it could be hard when people start talking to him about what his children are doing. Maybe it emphasises how much out of daily contact he is?
Is a compromise that your children email daddy with the photos when you put them on fb? Not seeking permission or even telling him they are going on and not with any comments but just keeping him up to date on anything someone may mention to him casually. (eg she looked so cute with the blue eyes and the teddy, and he will at least have an image).
Before you react try and find out what is prompting his upset exactly.:heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.0 -
It may well be that what is behind this is that your ex is miffed that you posted up pics of the child that he cannot see because he is not a friend on Facebook and finding out about them from a friend caused loss of face and maybe personal feeling of loss?If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0
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How about making a private group, accessible on invitation only.
Just remember, once it's out there, there's no going back.:eek:
Personally I wouldn't dream of posting a child's picture on Facebook under any circumstances.
Ever heard of hackers??
I'm with your ex on this.
How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot and YOUR wishes counted for naught?0 -
@whitewing and @RAS: I send him weekly updates with school progress, or other events or achievements (e.g. recent swim medal), and include a couple of photos if there are any. I decided to do that for my child's sake, I thought it would be good for my child if he is kept informed.
They also speak weekly on Skype, this is his decision on how often. This is all new, as he moved very recently. Posting FB photos was never an issue before, in the past he's had members of his family mention it to him but he was never bothered.
I don't think he is bothered that he doesn't see the photos himself, he's just anti Facebook generally. And yes perhaps he didn't like to be approached by this common friend regarding photos he didn't see, and probably feels disconnected from the child's life (NB: it was completely his decision to move overseas, for personal reasons, and to leave me to look after the child on my own).CC debt Oct 2015: £11,7000 -
I can't see that there's anything wrong in posting photos on Facebook.
People say its a safety issue - I can't see what is unsafe about a photo. What are we trying to protect our children from when we say its to do with safety?0
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