posting photos of children on FB

l3xi

flossy_splodge wrote: »

How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot and YOUR wishes counted for naught?

As long as the photos are decent and there's no location/address attached to it, I would be completely fine.

Re the private group, I don't see what the difference is, but perhaps I'm ignorant re FB functions? I never used a group. I don't have acquaintances or work contacts on FB - I'm one of those people who is only friends with real friends and family on FB, and all posts and photos are shared with them only. I don't post much, compared to most other people I know.

Person_one

I'd tell him that you will continue to share photos if you want to, but from now on you'll limit the photos so that they are only visible to specific people who know and care about your children and who you want to share the pictures with, not to just anybody on your friends list, or friends of friends. Offer to exclude any individuals he'd prefer didn't see them (unless its unreasonable like your best friend etc.) Then you're meeting him halfway and hopefully avoiding a load of hassle from him.

Unless the children are in hiding from somebody who wishes to hurt them, what harm is actually done by ordinary family photos being on Facebook?

duchy

Morally.....

Suppose it was the other way around and your child lived with your husband and it was you not wanting your children on FB and he refused to respect your wishes. Would you feel as the child's parent your wishes should be respected ....or not ?

You can replace FB with anything else....... not wanting a child to eat fast food, not wanting them to attend a school with a religious affiliation etc The principle is the same -Do you respect the non resident parent's wishes or not.

If you want to maintain a respectful co parenting relationship - maybe it's a two way street. Ultimately posting photos or not is hardly a big deal -it's only facebook. It's not anything important !

l3xi

PS. From what I know, legally ANYONE can take photos of children in the park or in a public place (e.g. on the street in the city) and post them on the Internet without parents' permission, as long as they are decent photos. You only ever need permission if you post the photos for commercial purposes. So in the strict legal sense I don't think he has grounds, but I was asking more like moral perspectives I guess. I want to be as fair as possible even though he's moved out of sight...

reehsetin

flossy_splodge wrote: »

Personally I wouldn't dream of posting a child's picture on Facebook under any circumstances.
Ever heard of hackers??

:huh: what the heck would a hacker want with pictures of your child!?!? More likely your paypal password than a random photo of a kid in a park.
I understand personal preference of not wanting photos plastered everywhere or even anywhere and that's someone's right but I can't see how hacking would have any bearing on it.

Guest101

l3xi wrote: »

PS. From what I know, legally ANYONE can take photos of children in the park or in a public place (e.g. on the street in the city) and post them on the Internet without parents' permission, as long as they are decent photos. You only ever need permission if you post the photos for commercial purposes. So in the strict legal sense I don't think he has grounds, but I was asking more like moral perspectives I guess. I want to be as fair as possible even though he's moved out of sight...

Even commercial purposes can vary.

E.g. The media film in public a the time, they don't ask permission of passers by.
It revolves around the focus of the photo.

But yes correct, private individuals can record images in public. ( there are a handful of exceptions - certain military/ intelligence installations )

Guest101

reehsetin wrote: »

:huh: what the heck would a hacker want with pictures of your child!?!? More likely your paypal password than a random photo of a kid in a park.
I understand personal preference of not wanting photos plastered everywhere or even anywhere and that's someone's right but I can't see how hacking would why.

Create fakes profiles to phish for information?

Pthree

Would watermarking the photos help so they cant be used by any other source?
If you are into to photography most editing programs have the ability to be able to do it (I think?) I know Lightroom does.

P3

euronorris

This is probably going to be the first in a long line of issues that you will need to agree on, as Duchy mentioned above.


So, I'd suggest you start as you mean to go on and try and deal with it in the same way you would if you were still together and disagreed on something (as best you can). Open up a dialogue by stating you are surprised to hear that he is upset, that you take x,y and z precautions with the photos, and you enjoy sharing them because of a, b & c reasons. That you'd like to understand his point of view better so that you come to some kind of agreement/compromise, and therefore welcome more detail from him on why he doesn't want them shared. What are his underlying concerns for the photos.


You may find that he comes to agree with you, or vice versa, or you find a middle ground that you can both be reasonably happy with.


Good luck.

l3xi

duchy wrote: »

Morally.....

Suppose it was the other way around and your child lived with your husband and it was you not wanting your children on FB and he refused to respect your wishes. Would you feel as the child's parent your wishes should be respected ....or not ?

You can replace FB with anything else....... not wanting a child to eat fast food, not wanting them to attend a school with a religious affiliation etc The principle is the same -Do you respect the non resident parent's wishes or not.

If you want to maintain a respectful co parenting relationship - maybe it's a two way street. Ultimately posting photos or not is hardly a big deal -it's only facebook. It's not anything important !

duchy: I already said above I would not mind photos being posted as long as they are decent. My friends have posted photos of me and my child before and it's fine by me, as long as it's all done responsibly.

I will consider any reasonable request coming from my ex, but I don't think this is a reasonable request. I'm not putting the child in danger and I'm responsible in the way I'm sharing. He might prefer that I now share the photos, but it's ultimately my decision.

I can't put myself in his shoes as I would never leave my child to go and live overseas. It was his decision to leave me to raise our child and he trusted me with everyday's AND bigger decisions. He doesn't ask me which school the child should go to, or what extracurricular activities to pick, he couldn't be bothered with any of that even when he was living here.

You are right though, the FB thing is a minor thing in the grand scheme of things and perhaps I should just let go of it. It's a hard thing though, as I'm into portrait photography and it's so normal for me to do this. He actually knows that. I had photos of our child exhibited in a public place (art space) for a full month, he knows that, saw the photos, and it was never an issue.

The cynical me tends to believe it was indeed one of those 'loss of face' moments for him and he got annoyed with it, as one of the posters above said. It would have been nice of him to be polite about it when he requested me to remove the photos, butt that's a whole other story...