Feel so alone

kerri_gt

Popstess wrote: »

Thank you I'm really really trying hard. The idea is if I can budget for all these things then what money is left over can go to my debt. Whereas when I wasn't sticking to a budget I ended up spending and spending and nothing left at the end

Didn't want to just read and run, well done on the steps you're taking and you absolutely are not useless nor let your son down. Ok perhaps you've made some financial decisions in the past that in hindsight weren't the most sensible, but let's face it, if we could bottle hindsight, we'd all be millionaires. You love him and are trying to tackle this debt the best you can partly for you, and partly for him.

I think if you can afford it the £50 fun money is a good idea to enjoy time together, don't forget as the weather picks up there are also lots of free things you can do together, or relatively cheap anyway. I was out running today (it's ok I'm not going to suggest you go running together ) and it was such a beautiful sunny day that even as I puffed and wheezed myself round my route, I was able to appreciate how beautiful it was (it would prob have been much more beautiful enjoying it with a nice hot chocolate and a warm coat :rotfl:)

As an idea, when the weather is better, could you do a car boot with your DS? It could be a good way to clear some clutter, gain some extra pennies and let him keep say 50% of what he sells of his own stuff to spend on what he'd like as motivation (bribery ) to help out.

Popstess

The aim will be not to spend the £50 but it will be there as a buffer the most important thing is I don't go over it!!!!

f0xh0les

One debt at a time Pops, that is really sensible.
Just focus on the Very account balance.

Once you pop that one, move on to the next one.

I find, if I know things are going to be tight one month, especially in half term holidays, if there is a new xbox game the kids want, the £30/ £40 spent on the game will keep them amused, and with a daily trip to the park or out on their bikes it is far less than the cinema/swimming/lazerquest/bowling/shopping trips that always end up more expensive with drinks and snacks and cafe trips you get guilted into paying for, as they are dying of dehydration the closer they get to a C0stas.

And if they have their mates round to play on the game too, then it is a multipack of crisps and a cheap bottle of cola - less than the busfare into town.

You can be upfront with your son,(he is 14odd isn't he?) or you can get yourself out of half your debt and tell him, or you can tell him when you are no longer in debt, or you don't have to tell him at all. It is totally up to you. Your call. Don't feel like you have to tell him about it if you don't want to.

Just remember, if you do decide to go the DMP route, they class skytv and a fun budget as essentials. So you should too. Factor a good amount of fun money and a few treats in there too. You have a big debt to shift, and are in this for the long haul, and that will make it sustainable. If you cut things back too much you will not be able to keep it up and have a huge SOD IT !! splurge.

And you can have another one of those hugs from me, even if it does look a little pervy:grouphug:

Popstess

Thank you he is 13 he knows money is tight and is very understanding if I say no to something. I work with children and have seen so much damage when children have been privy to far too much adult information so for me personally (it's different for everyone) I don't feel it's appropriate for my son to be told I am in debt and a huge debt at that it will only worry him and he is not mature enough to understand how or why. So for now I will leave it as money is tight and that will do.
I just struggle with guilt if I hadn't have got myself into this mess I could afford to take him on holiday and I wouldn't be constantly stressed and so depressed not that he really knows that I am anyway so don't suppose it's affecting him really. He's a very happy young man and doing extremely well at school I just feel as though I have let him down!
Thanks for the Pervy hug :rotfl:

tweets

Hi Popstess , I have read your thread from the beginning and am proud of what you have done so far. Decided to say in May ring Sky and you may be surprised in what they offer you. When my Sky contract was up in December I rang them and asked for retentions.

I then said my contract was up and what could they offer me without tv. They offered me 12 months free broadband so all I am paying is £17-40 for line rental for 12 months. This annoys me because I don't even have a landline phone plugged in its broke. But you need a phone line to get broadband lol.

I wouldn't change providers if you can get Sky cheaper. I know people who have moved providers and regretted it because new provider broadband is rubbish.

HTH

Popstess

Thanks I will give them a ring and see what they can offer me. I'm the same NEVER use a house phone I find it so annoying that have to have line rental for broadband grrrrrrrr!!!!

Popstess

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement

Popstess

I've been reading up on DMP's maybe it is the best route for me to go down. I don't know. Im paying out £650 to debt every month if I was putting that into a DMP that was split by my creditors and they agreed to freeze my interest I could be debt free by 2019 which is my aim.
What happens if in the time you change job and your wages increase (I'm hoping to) would they make a new plan? Taking into account the new wages?

12_month_challenge

Hi Pops

Sourcrates seems to be the expert on this. Why dont you post this on the main site and I bet he comes along.

Im no good at finances as you can see :rotfl:

x

Ch1979

Hi pops
I'm new at this forum, so perhaps a bit bullish in my suggestions (I'm sorry) As for your son, he sounds a great helpful lad and aware that money is tight. Maybe let him keep the difference if he finds your shopping, gifts,petrol etc cheaper than you were expecting to pay? My friend thought of this after she paid 20 quid for her cars to get washed (badly) by the kids. Said it works when they are in the mood. It's fascinating to see how you have quickly gone into practical mode and it's inspiring me to be a bit more proactive. Thats really positive as you definitely need to have a good old cry before being able to tackle something you find terrifying. Apart from spiders. Crying makes them scarier! Well done pops x