Feel so alone

12_month_challenge

Popstess wrote: »

Thank you,
I feel so depressed, I've been reading up on DMP's I've been reading loads of posts on this forum I just feel so low I feel completely worthless.
I have let my beautiful amazing son down in so many ways and he doesn't have a clue one of these days it will all catch to me and he'll see what a useless waste of space his Mum really is

Useless you are NOT. You have an amazing son who has a mum that adores him.

It will take time to sort this out. It didn't happen overnight and it wont change overnight. But it will get better.

One day (when you're free of debt) you can tell your son and how you tackled it all and dealt with it. He will be proud of his mum :A

Chin up Pops
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Popstess

I can't stop crying I hope one day this misery I created for myself will be over

Ch1979

I only look in awe at my childhood and my parents. They had a family business though both worked full time. They were always honest with us about money and did not hide their finances. Yes we went without and sometimes I felt resentful but from being almost bankrupt and my dad out of work for years to being very comfortable, retired and able to help us now... They are amazing. Don't lie to your kids if they are old enough to know that the end game could be them losing their home. It's harsh but kids will appreciate the honesty and probably understand more than you think at their age. if you can't afford something give them a choice and let them decide if there is anything they would rather be without. Set up an Amazon wish list for anything they are wanting and at Christmas and birthdays ask family to contribute. If you say "they are saving up for an iPad and it would be great to have another £20" it doesn't give any message apart from that you are trying to show your kids the value of saving.
With our friends kids my sister and I set a budget like £10 from each of us, take them shopping and go to a cafe for a treat. We do it in the January sales and in the nearest sales to their birthdays. They love it! You don't have to tell family and friends you are in debt but do be honest about saving money. People are actually very interested and non judgemental.

Ch1979

Hey virtually everyone I know have been in your position, often more than once. The only thing that will keep you in debt is your pride. You have about 30 quid less than me per month, I run a home but no kids. I have about 100 quid left out of 440 but still went out for s meal and drinks twice, bought a gift, treats for myself, ran the car, ran the house, smoked, drank, threw out food....... You can make savings and trade offs but you must think of your happiness in doing so. Don't give up things you love for things you are a bit "meh whatever" about.

Popstess

Hi I have tried to pull myself together and I have done a new more detailed SOA I have also decided to put £50 a month into a separate account for fun money for me and my son that way there is money there to do nice things but when its gone its gone and I will have to say NO it will help me priorities and what isn't spent one month can be carried over. Please bear in mind this is a budget I have created some of these are things that are exactly what I spend every month e.g. my bills but other things like the shopping and fun money emergency fund savings for presents etc. are budgets that I have created to try and keep myself on track and not reaching for more credit!!!
I have cut down on all my bills by shopping around and I think I have them as low as I can. With the exception of sky which I will cancel in May but I will still need broadband and phone line.

Mortgage £200
Council Tax £81
Gas/Electric £41
Water £17
Buildings & Contents £13
Broadband/Phone/Sky £36 (Cancelling sky in May when contract finishes)
Tv Licence £13
Mobile £18
Car tax £13
MOT £20
Car Insurance £20
School trip £35 (until November 2016 (son is saving his own money for spends)
School Uniform/ Clothes £20
Son's savings account £10
Son's mobile £20 (this is instead of weekly pocket money)
Emergency Fund £6
Birthdays/ other gifts £20
Christmas savings £50
Halifax Loan £270
MBNA card £25
Barclay card £120
Tesco card £100
Lottery work £10
Fun money £50
Dad £100 (from an interest free loan)
Shopping £200 going to work hard on reducing this

Total £1,508
Money In £1,700
What's Left £192

12_month_challenge

Hi Pops

I think its a good idea. As Sourcrates has said you still have to live not just exist

Good for you for not burying your head and are trying so hard to find a way around all of this.

Even if you paid an extra £42 towards one card that leaves you £150. This will still make a difference.
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Popstess

Thank you I'm really really trying hard. The idea is if I can budget for all these things then what money is left over can go to my debt. Whereas when I wasn't sticking to a budget I ended up spending and spending and nothing left at the end

12_month_challenge

Try to stick to it like glue for a month and just see if it works. (I bet it does)

I should do this as its so easy to pop to the shops break into a tenner and then its gone.

I so hope it works and then you will be well on your way then.

Keep updating on your progress Pops :A

Popstess

And if I have £192 or maybe more left at the end of the month that can go to paying off my very bnpl before the interest free runs out. It would take 5 months to pay it all off which would at least be one less debt!!!

12_month_challenge

Popstess wrote: »

And if I have £192 or maybe more left at the end of the month that can go to paying off my very bnpl before the interest free runs out. It would take 5 months to pay it all off which would at least be one less debt!!!

Think of it as 5 Payments it sounds better

You sound more positive already :T
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