Feel so alone

sourcrates

No one seems to of mentioned that £506 per month on credit repayments is a tad high !!
You can cut your household budget only so far, but lets face it, we need to live, not just exist.


I would say possibly a debt management plan may help you out.


Get the credit cards to freeze interest, 30k is a lot of money, you are/will be paying a raft of interest as it stands.

f0xh0les

Hey Pops!

Have you thought about Youth Hostelling for holidays? They are running a £29 a night for 2 people at the moment. And they do have places in very good locations, if you wanted to do London and the museums (plenty of free stuff to do) or if you fancied a weekend at the beach, whatever your son is into - whether it is computer games and a games convention in Manchester, or a Sci-fi Weekender in Leicester, or fossil hunting in Devon, or surfing in Cornwall, they have loads of different places, and they all have a self catering kitchen for guests to use, or you can book in half board and let them do breakfasts and evening meals.

I took my 4 boys to Nottingham and stayed in the YHA at Sherwood Forest last Easter. DS1 had a project on Castles so I took them to 2 castles (Nottingham and Bolsover) DS3 had a topic on Robin Hood so we were all over the forest and the castle was relevant for him too.

There are some really good bargains to be had, they do sales at off peak times, and you can often find a voucher code.

And there is always Travelodge! Just choose carefully where you want to go and what you want to be near.

For birthday and christmas presents I always ask for
1 National Trust membership (family version)
2 English Heritage membership (family version)
3 Family Railcard (family version!)

Then wherever we end up, there is usually a few places we can go to for free ( and usually with a pretty decent playground/adventure playground) but I think your son is a little bit older than mine, my eldest is 13 and a very important half, but he is happy to tag along with his littler brothers just in case there is cake involved and he might miss out.

kerri_gt

Do you actually have £421 left each month after all your outgoings? If not then your SOA isn't accurate and you're overspending / spending in areas without realising. Knowing exactly where your money goes each month is crucial when determining your debt busting plan.

One of the best things is to keep a spending diary, writing down everything you spend (even a pint of milk) for at least a month and then you'll know exactly what you spend and where. There are lots of apps you can do this via (lots use YNAB - you need a budget) or a simple notebook / excel sheet etc. whatever works for you.

MrsShazbat

I have friends who will drive to Home Bargains, B&M, Wilko or wherever to buy their household cleaning stuff cheap. Personally I can't be bothered to make a special trip so unless I'm actually nearby I get mine from the supermarket when the offers are on so I'm always 2 or 3 bottles of Fairy Liquid, toothpaste or whatever in front of myself. Same with stuff like shower creme, deodorant and teabags (asd they're ludicroiusly expensive and i drink a lot of tea). I could open my own shop selling Dove shower cremes!! It might push the cost of your shop up for one week but then you're ahead of the game.

Popstess

No I don't I am always I the minus hence this mess!!!
I spend it on clothes, food, socialising, presents, things for my son, things for myself. There's no point in me pretending I might as well put it all out there. These are the stupid things I want to cut back on which is why I haven't put them In My SOA idiot want to carry on spending like that.

12_month_challenge

Hi again Pops

Been there also

The annoying things is having to say no to things. When you work hard all week you want to/should be able to treat yourself and your son.

I am in no position to judge or give sound advise. I just wanted to say you will find a way that suits you to clear your debt. :A

kerri_gt

Popstess wrote: »

No I don't I am always I the minus hence this mess!!!
I spend it on clothes, food, socialising, presents, things for my son, things for myself. There's no point in me pretending I might as well put it all out there. These are the stupid things I want to cut back on which is why I haven't put them In My SOA idiot want to carry on spending like that.

Well you're ahead of many others like you who are yet to recognise this so well done.

12_month_challenge wrote: »

Hi again Pops

Been there also

The annoying things is having to say no to things. When you work hard all week you want to/should be able to treat yourself and your son.

I am in no position to judge or give sound advise. I just wanted to say you will find a way that suits you to clear your debt. :A

Perhaps Popstess isn't alone in her social circles not being able to afford all the social occasions / gifts she says yes to. Saying no, or suggesting something less expensive (instead of a meal out how about dinner round a friends, where you all bring a dish for example) might be to everyone's relief. We too often seem to spend our lives feeling obligated. Admitting to friends you can't afford, or don't want to afford the expensive gifts, social occasions might mean some friends drift off, but true friends will be there for you - for you, you not what you can afford.

That doesn't mean to say you can never go out, just pick and choose those occasions and budget for them.

You're doing really well, hang in there xx

brizzledfw

Seconded..Kerri is right. Be the first to say this isn't a good idea..lets do something fun but frugal instead.

Popstess

Thank you,
I feel so depressed, I've been reading up on DMP's I've been reading loads of posts on this forum I just feel so low I feel completely worthless.
I have let my beautiful amazing son down in so many ways and he doesn't have a clue one of these days it will all catch to me and he'll see what a useless waste of space his Mum really is

brizzledfw

Nope. You're not. Absolutely not. Dealing with it all is the best thing you can do for your boy and yourself.

Try some baby steps. What 5 DFW things can you do tomorrow? Can you write them down here and then cross off each one when it's done/progressed.

There is a daily thread on here which sets out similar goals. I used to love it. Worth a try as well?

Sending hugs :grouphug: