Feel so alone

Popstess

Hello,
I joined this site today after my LBM where I was sat trying to get yet another loan and my bank was going through my account with a fine tooth comb questioning every transaction it was completely humiliating and I feel so so ashamed. Needless to say I never got the loan approved thank god because I am up to my eyes in debt. I'm not in a position where I can't afford to pay my mortgage or bills so at least that's one saving grace.
I feel so alone and so isolated and ashamed of myself. I can't admit to anyone the amount of debt I'm in.
I have started looking at the snowball plan so I am already planning to pay my debt with the highest interest off first and I've set up a 1% spreadsheet. Already planning to have a car boot sale with a friend in a couple of weeks that I will use to pay off at least 1% I hope.
My biggest issue is scaling back my lifestyle! Because I can't admit to friends/family the extent of my debt I feel under pressure to keep up with the Jones. I don't live a particularly lifestyle but everything is so expensive!
I'm single and my son is growing up and getting more and more independent. I feel lonely and down and guess what I then end up doing? Spending to cheer my self up, which would be okay if I could afford it wouldn't it? But the fact I'm spending the banks money not mine it's shameful I'm so disgusted in myself.
I'm seriously considering looking for a better paid job to help me out of this mess.
Thanks for reading

Justice13075

You are not alone there are thousands out there in debt. There is a company called National debtline 0808 808 4000 This service is free so you won't pay anything to them. They will give you advice and help you for free. Google them.

Rosylee

Yes, you are not alone. there are many helpful people on here who can give lots of good advice and of course the debt charities that are available too as mentioned.

antonia86

Well done for joining, and welcome. It takes a lot of courage to wise up to your financial situation and start making changes... but this is the first step!


This forum will help you tackle all the next steps, but you have taken the biggest yourself.

Butti

It's okay Popstress. How do you know some of the Joneses are not also living beyond their means?

By all means have a car boot sale and get a better job;

but do your self a budget, plan your social life around your budget and just be honest with people. There is NO SHAME in saying to people I've been overspending and I need to rein it in for a while.

B x

(Used to be £29 k in debt!)

Popstess

Thank you, I'm sat here in tears, and shaking this is the first time I've admitted my debt to anyone. That's true about"the joneses" no I don't know their financial situations. I have made myself a budget and using an app called Spending Tracker to keep on top of my outgoings. I feel so guilty and so embarrassed. I have tried to say no or I can't afford it in the past and been talked round I'm a complete people pleaser it it's making me ill I can't go on line this I've been such a fool.

Justice13075

It seems the world has caved in on you but you are not alone. Call National debtline on monday and get the ball rolling you will feel much better after the call i can promise you.

sourcrates

Popstess wrote: »

Thank you, I'm sat here in tears, and shaking this is the first time I've admitted my debt to anyone. That's true about"the joneses" no I don't know their financial situations. I have made myself a budget and using an app called Spending Tracker to keep on top of my outgoings. I feel so guilty and so embarrassed. I have tried to say no or I can't afford it in the past and been talked round I'm a complete people pleaser it it's making me ill I can't go on line this I've been such a fool.

Hey we've all been where you are now, a SOA may be the way to go, see if you can cut back anywhere.

Certainly not on your own, been in exactly the position you are now 😊

Popstess

What is an SAO?

crazy_cat_lady

Hey
A SOA is a Statement of Affairs. Be honest with it, and with yourself because it will help you to budget and figure out where you can make savings... Link is here http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

We have all been there. I had my lbm forced upon me at £28k in debt when I couldn't get another consolidation loan. I have learned an awful lot since that day, and I'd rather be where I am now - almost debt free and content in myself, rather than in thousands of debt and desperately trying to keep up with the Joneses....

There is a world of support on here - good luck

Popstess

I'm £26,199.51 in debt and hoping that it will be the last day in my life I am ever in this much debt. I feel sick to my stomach that I have just admitted that. No one knows and I can't tell anyone. Thank you I will do the SOA calculator