PLEASE help me

going_nowhere_fast

lulalola wrote: »

What an ignorant comment. You don't know how the OP's situation might have changed.

Thank you!

And for what its worth you're right. I used to live in a very nice area and hard a lot of savings behind me. I came out of an abusive relationship, receive no financial support for my child and bought a house where I could afford. To be honest the area seemed OK at first but the council have since decided to use the area as a dumping ground hence people selling up and leaving. This was not obvious when I bought.

The troll appears to be an unhappy person to me and whereas they will be wallowing in their grumpy bitterness someday, me and my son will be happily living somewhere nice with a little furry friend. I would like a cat when I move away from a main road and am out of debt

going_nowhere_fast

selement wrote: »

I never got to go to Disneyland. I dont think my parents were even poor... they weren't wealthy, but my Dad worked full time and Mom gave up work to look after the kids. I asked plenty of times but no joy!

Years later when my mom had returned to fulltime work when I was about 14ish we had a holiday to California and i got to go to disneys California adventure (which people say is the worst one! T_T) but hey at least eventually I got to A disney, right?

Trying to convince my bridesmaids for my hen we should do a weekend at disney paris since I still haven't been...

But I don't think my parents were mean or anything! You just can't have everything as a kid. I think money was a bit tight we used to go on camping holidays mainly. They bought the important stuff
Your child will get over it.

I hope you find a way to improve your situation, so take some time to look at what you've already achieved and realise you've already done so well. And no you don't need a man to make life easier! Are there any weekend single parent meetup groups you could join?

You will have to drag your new hubby to Disney land!

I never went abroad at all as a child. I think so many people live off credit that everyone appears to be better off than me but I bet a lot aren't really. Foreign holidays, updating electronics all the time, expensive furniture none of it was the norm growing up, the world has just become so commercial and materialistic.

I'm feeling much better today. Glad to have spoken to people on here and i have a few things to pursue - hobbies to try out. Hobbies make a big difference, you're meeting like minded people and doing something you enjoy and everyone I know who has a hobby seem to always be meeting new people.

I've also been totalling the amount of debt repaid and I've actually done quite well its just not much fun paying off debt is it? Its taken a lot of staying in and saying no to fun but seeing the difference its made I now feel like it was worth it. I know I'll be down again before this debt is cleared and i can move but maybe that is part of the journey to debt freedom. I am moving in the right direction - heading towards my goals yeay

Jhoney_2

deaston wrote: »

Why did you have children if you knew you couldn't afford to bring them up in a place you'd wish.

I desperately want a dog, but my working hours mean it'd not be a very happy dog. So I won't get one.

That was a ridiculous comment and the analogy was in poor taste too.

If you cannot say something considered it is better to :shhh:. I appreciate that may not be the choice you make, but an apology would be fitting.

Jhoney_2

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I never went abroad at all as a child. I think so many people live off credit that everyone appears to be better off than me but I bet a lot aren't really. Foreign holidays, updating electronics all the time, expensive furniture none of it was the norm growing up, the world has just become so commercial and materialistic.

I'm feeling much better today. Glad to have spoken to people on here and i have a few things to pursue - hobbies to try out. Hobbies make a big difference, you're meeting like minded people and doing something you enjoy and everyone I know who has a hobby seem to always be meeting new people.

I've also been totalling the amount of debt repaid and I've actually done quite well its just not much fun paying off debt is it? Its taken a lot of staying in and saying no to fun but seeing the difference its made I now feel like it was worth it. I know I'll be down again before this debt is cleared and i can move but maybe that is part of the journey to debt freedom. I am moving in the right direction - heading towards my goals yeay

That's exactly right. My mum used to say don't wish for what other people have - you don't know how they came by it! I believe that to this day.

You are already doing a great job.:T

deaston

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I used to live in a very nice area and hard a lot of savings behind me. I came out of an abusive relationship, receive no financial support for my child and bought a house where I could afford. To be honest the area seemed OK at first but the council have since decided to use the area as a dumping ground hence people selling up and leaving. This was not obvious when I bought.

It was a simple question and there is your answer. Now I better understand your situation.

Kynthia

deaston wrote: »

It was a simple question and there is your answer. Now I better understand your situation.

It wasn't a simple question it was a nasty and judgemental comment masking as a rhetorical question. If you just wanted to know you would have asked the OP whether she lived in the property or had little money when she had her child.

Jhoney_2

deaston wrote: »

It was a simple question and there is your answer. Now I better understand your situation.

People often relocate many times from e.g starter homes to forever homes, work/school related moves trying to do the best for their children.

No-one plans for partners walking out, abusive situations and environmental or social policy before starting a family. This is the parent that is being responsible and providing stability, which presumably you understood before your remark.

It was a simple question - but not in the context of the above.

Freeraine

I thought it was a very good topic, to start off with - ie what are the options, and how have other homeowners overcome difficulties when their neighbourhood becomes a 'sink' area. But now, it's drifting towards a general discussion on the OP's personal circumstances. A personal topic, such as one that helps the OP to find friends or cope with debt, has the potential to draw in judgemental comments - unless it's in the right place (Marriage, Relationships Board).

While it's very good that the OP is being supported and encouraged in other areas, I'm not sure it's helping OP think through her housing situation.

What are your thoughts so far, and having read the contributions, on your housing options over the short and medium term, OP?

going_nowhere_fast

Hi,

The replies have been helpful. I understand my personal cirmcumstances are a different topic but feeling isolated exagerates how i feel about my location so i think it is connected a little bit.

Ive spoken to a couple of mortgage brokers and have been keeping an eye on threads where people with bad credit are looking for a mortgage. Ive spoken to the council and asked about housing benefit if i went into rented. Conclusion is the best thing i can do is work really hard at paying down the debt. By then defaults should be 3 years old. Then i am planning on trying to get a 35 or 40 year mortgage and i know the interest rate will be bad but i can remortgage to a better rate after a couple of years and hopefully over pay to reduce the term of the mortgage.

Id like to develop my earning potential while im doing this but i that im not hopeful about because i dont have an idea of what i want / could do.

So i know the plan but there are going to be a few arrrggghhh get me out of here moments. Its during these times that i really need support.

Jhoney_2

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

Hi,

The replies have been helpful. I understand my personal cirmcumstances are a different topic but feeling isolated exagerates how i feel about my location so i think it is connected a little bit.

Ive spoken to a couple of mortgage brokers and have been keeping an eye on threads where people with bad credit are looking for a mortgage. Ive spoken to the council and asked about housing benefit if i went into rented. Conclusion is the best thing i can do is work really hard at paying down the debt. By then defaults should be 3 years old. Then i am planning on trying to get a 35 or 40 year mortgage and i know the interest rate will be bad but i can remortgage to a better rate after a couple of years and hopefully over pay to reduce the term of the mortgage.

Id like to develop my earning potential while im doing this but i that im not hopeful about because i dont have an idea of what i want / could do.

So i know the plan but there are going to be a few arrrggghhh get me out of here moments. Its during these times that i really need support.

You can talk about anything you wish. There is no need to adhere to any prescriptive other than the terms of using the site.

Obviously, take time to consider what you are posting, but you don't have to defend yourself (or disclose your personal circumstances) in intimate detail to anyone on here- less still in response to comments like Deaston's.