PLEASE help me

going_nowhere_fast

The plan is to clear my debts within 12-14 months then save enough cash to cover surveys/moving fees. When ive done that approach a broker and see if i have any chance with a new mortgage. If i get one i will put my house up for sale straight away but will have a limited budget to buy a next house with so will be tricky to find somewhere thats decent. If i cant get a mortgage i'll keep saving and try again in 12 months.

With no child you could live off beans and save quite a lot of cash towards moving. What is holding you back?

going_nowhere_fast

Forgot to answer your question, ive lost anywhere between £10,000 and £15,000. I try not to think about that bit too much!

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I'm an atheist so technically don't believe in an afterlife, but like to think there is a circle of hell reserved for bad neighbours.

Please don't beat yourself up about saying NO to your child; that word was the main feature of my childhood. I never had the right trainers, coolest clothes or latest gadgets. I even remember my lunchbox not being the "right" sort!

12-14 months is a very achievable aim and you are certainly motivated and focussed. Best of luck.

Jhoney_2

I make a point of not buying the latest trends and brands. I detest what that does to our children and our pockets.

Invest in their education, their self esteem and their future.

As Fbaby said above, teach them to earn what they get e.g chores, achievements etc and the joy of reaching milestones.

Teach them your values and how to set priorities and their inner richness and future happiness will have no limits.

I once took on the local council regarding something. It wasnt the ever repeating cycle of asbo types moving in though, but it took 3 years to turn it around. I got the neighbours involved and we push them into a change of heart. It was time well spent and improved our community so much.

Don't give up!

libf

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

There will be millions of single parents raising children without the financial help from the person that left. Its never been something I've dwelled on, until now that is. All of a sudden it irks me they (the one who left me literally holding the baby) are living in their expensive house, in a nice area, driving a sports car and generally living a nice comfortable life while I have spent years of my life struggling.

Off to look up mystery shopping!

Your ex should be supporting your child. Look into getting maintenance payments setup, and you might even be entitled to back claim.

going_nowhere_fast

libf wrote: »

Your ex should be supporting your child. Look into getting maintenance payments setup, and you might even be entitled to back claim.

Can't get any. The CSA and whatever the new company is called have both said the same thing, their standard of living is proof of a regular very healthy income but somehow they are guilty of tax evasion because according to the HMRC they have not paid tax for about 5 years and are not claiming benefits and the rules are that if you don't pay tax you don't have to contribute to your child. Bizarre rules.

TBeckett100

A few thoughts.

1) You could sell and rent. I know you don't want to rent but is owning a property in a dive, making you miserable (and your kids as they will pick up on it) actually worth it?
2) You could find a partner. Two paying the bills helps enormously and if he has a few bob you may end up somewhere nice.
3) err thats it.

TBeckett100

can family not pay off your debts?

Jhoney_2

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

Can't get any. The CSA and whatever the new company is called have both said the same thing, their standard of living is proof of a regular very healthy income but somehow they are guilty of tax evasion because according to the HMRC they have not paid tax for about 5 years and are not claiming benefits and the rules are that if you don't pay tax you don't have to contribute to your child. Bizarre rules.

Surely that rule is if you don't earn enough to pay tax? Not by evasion! Perhaps there is some tax exempt or family help or trust or something.

plumfin

Check your link, think it has your personal details on the page it takes you to on the postcode website.