PLEASE help me

going_nowhere_fast

For those who do not know my story I own a house in a deprived area surrounded by rental properties - almost all are rented out to really antisocial ignorant horrible people.

As a single parent with zero financial or practical support I work part time. I can't work longer hours or evening. I have no support in any form - I'm doing my best.

I have made cut backs and have made a huge dent in my debt but have a fair bit to go. My credit file is trashed and I have looked at all options. My only way out of here is to scrimp to pay the remainder of the debt off and then save enough to cover cost of selling/buying another house. I am so tired of spending ziltch on myself EVER.

Most of the time I focus on the progress I've made and keep my spirits up by focussing on the goal of getting us somewhere better to live but I feel so scared we're trapped here. One of my neighbours is having an all night party, if it isnt them it is another house. As soon as one horrible selfish person moves out another just the same moves in. I live in a two bed house and we sleep together every night because one room is unusable due to noise.

My child talks daily about wanting to go to Disney land because the adverts are on TV, they want to go on an aeoroplane like their friends, go to funfairs, zoos etc. I feel like I say no all the time.

I feel like this is forever. I know no one in the same situation as me. The one usable bedroom is awful too, drunks outside swearing and fighting. I feel like I'm letting my baby down.

Poppy9

Have you contacted environmental health about the noise issue? You should also speak to your local community police officer - though they will probably send a PCSO about anti social behaviour.

going_nowhere_fast

I've done both. The problem is it isn't one house its lots and even if the tennants move the people who move in next are just the same, the houses are rented out to the scummiest people. I've spoken to several departments at the council and they say they can't interfere with who landlords rent their houses to.

BrassicWoman

have a wee hug. You must be exhausted from the noise.

How old is your kid? When I was old enough to understand guilt, I tried to use it all the time to acquire things from my parents. Luckily they saw through me and while I got all the attention and reading materials and education I needed, I didn't get meaningless capitalist activties. Disney is a money extraction machine with very long queues and many whining kids who do not like queueing.

You are doing great. How is the timetable looking for the master plan?

going_nowhere_fast

No one in real life gives me a hug cue the need for MSE. Everyone is better off so no one cares how hard things are me sometimes not even when I openly tell them I need a bit of support.

The master plan is that in 12 months I will be debt free but in all honesty that is having no budget for clothing, shoes, christmas , birthday or the odd day out or even taxing the car so with a real budget it is likely to be around 18 months if im very strict but I've reached a point tonight where that feels like forever.

going_nowhere_fast

I feel absolutely heartbroken that my child is growing up here.

BrassicWoman

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I feel absolutely heartbroken that my child is growing up here.

I woud be proud of the way you are teaching them adversity can be overcome; that you do not need to accept circumstance or grow up a victim.

But I also appreciate that if you are worn out it won't feel like that.

What cheap treat can you plan for tomorrow? Home baking together? Playing in the park? Film day on the sofa with duvet and home made popcorn?

ruggedtoast

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I feel absolutely heartbroken that my child is growing up here.

You sound pretty down. I am not surprised from what you have said, circumstances can easily creep up on us and change our mood.

However, no situation lasts forever,and there is no cosmic rule book to say where you should or shouldn't be in your life. Take every day as it comes and forget about it when it's over.

You should go and see your gp and ask for a referral for time to talk. They will help you sketch out the things you can change and those you can't, and offer a further referral if you need more help.

In the meantime maybe you can rent out your own place and move elsewhere?

Poppy9

You are being fobbed off by the sounds of it so you need to escalate.

Noisy neighbours - if you are suffering due to loud music and parties Environmental Health must deal with. If they are not then contact your local councillor. Keep a log of every time you have called EH.

Police and waring neighbours - again if they are not dealing with write to Chief Inspector for the area (most police forces have websites detailing who is responsible for your area). Make sure you keep a diary of public nuisances in the streets. Log each call you make to the police and action (or lack of)taken.

You can also contact your MP

EG57

I sympathise. I, too, live in a horrible estate. I am thinking of moving elsewhere but don't have the money. I partially solved the noise problem by referring one of my neighbours to environmental health. It has taken me 3 years to deal with the problem, but now no-one around here will talk to me. Also, being foreign doesn't help. My only "nice" neighbour is moving out, too. My ex-wife left me because she did not want our daughter to grow up here in this neighbourhood. I don't blame her, after all. I, too had to change bedrooms, due to the noisy birds and rowdy kids at the back. But now I am confronted with the noisy cars. I am thinking of returning to Italy, but my partner, who grew up in the neighbourhood, is reluctant to do so. But we may have to sell and relocate regardless, as we have an interest only mortgage which will need to be settled by 2021. Luckily, the equity is good and I have no debts. Renting out is not an option as my house needs lots of repairs, which I can't afford as I have no money and have recently lost my job. Downsizing seems difficult. Equity release schemes sound dodgy. Any suggestions? My advice to GNF is to sell (even to one of those "quick buy" schemes) and get the hell out of there asap, but I am aware that this is complicated and not always possible. Good luck.

[Deleted User]

I'm sending hugs too. Sorry, I know its a hard road sometimes.

Remember though that while you may not be going to Disneyland, your family has something money can't buy.., lots of love. I know my older son sometimes says 'I wish we weren't poor' lol.., but I remind him that me being a carer rather than working has meant financial sacrifices but it also means I'm always there for them when they need me. And in our situation, that is far more important. I just couldn't have done what I have if working full or part time (both my kids have ASD).

You are working part time which allows you to spend a little more time with your children. Yes, it does mean money is short.., but your time with your kids is beyond price. AND you are managing to reduce your debts. That's amazing. You are teaching your kids so much about how to manage life.

As has already been said, get to the basics.., take your kids to the park, get them laughing. Come back knowing you've given them some fun. You don't need money to make your kids feel loved and worthwhile.., although some of us get a bit confused about that. They would love the idea of having a cuddle watching movies. I know its hard given where you are living but try and make the best of what you can do, which is a lot. Holidays to Disneyland aren't the be all and end all of life! We managed to have a short break last year, our first holiday for years. All I did was worry about money lol, so it wasn't quite the happy holiday I thought it would be lolol. I think we get a bit carried away with material things, thinking they'll make us happy and we forget about the real things like love and security that last far longer.

You are doing so well. And you will be able to move in a year. Its not forever, and you are doing it for yourself with hard work, love and determination. There's so much to be proud of.