PLEASE help me

going_nowhere_fast

Deanatrois, I'm sorry to hear you are moving to temp accommodation. Is everything OK?

summerholiday

Zoology Dragon, Yes, my fault for skimming and confusing Deanatrois notes with Going Nowhere Fast's.

Perhaps the council would like to buy the property from her.

FBaby

Marketing/adverts are for the middle classes, not for regular folks. They live in big, light, houses, with large rooms and have nice things. Don't feel bad that's not your lot....it's not the lot of the majority, just the few.

I don't think this is a fair statement, let alone true. We live in a nice house, large room etc... but that doesn't mean in any way that kids get what they want. It's not about affordability, it is about teaching children that you have to earn what you get. My 13yo son got a new phone, which he needs as he is now out and about and I want to know where he is at all time. I got him the cheapest that was available on a contract. It's a perfectly decent phone, but not a iphone or samsung (or even another known brand!). Is he bothered? Not one bit. As he said, it's a phone and it does what it should, so who cares what the name is written on it. I could have afford him the latest, but why should he get it?

OP, the best thing you can do as a mum is to teach your child to be proud of you and what he is achieving. It's not about impressing his friends, it's about setting himself goals and working towards them to achieve them. I don't know how old he is, maybe too young, but maybe you could explain to him that you had to borrow money before because you needed it then, and now you have to repay it, so it means that for a limited time, you won't be able to get nice things, but when you have, you will be able to move and maybe go on a holiday. Start looking at brochures, talk about what fun things you'll be able to do etc... ultimately, turn your situation into something positive to look forward to, rather than making him feel that he is hard done by, much worse than everyone else, and that he will never get to enjoy anything nice. Also, don't forget that your child is very fortunate to have a mum who is there for him after school and that many kids don't get this. Many kids who are at school from 8am to 6pm feel very envious of those who don't have to get up so early and be rushed out and get to go home after school to do what they want to do.

Keep going, you will get there, you really will, you just have to keep hanging on and remind yourself than when you will be in enjoying your holiday, and looking forward to coming home to your new place, you will feel like you won the lottery.

patman99

GNF, all you can do is keep on at the Council with regards to the druggies and low-lifes they are dropping into private rented properties.

If the Council won't listen, then involve the press. They like nothing better than a 'Council turns nice area into alumland' type stories (and you don't even need to be named or photographed if you don't want to).

Concentrate your anguish at the situation you are in in to an 'angry mum' campaign to clean up the area.
Remember that when you do find yourself in a position to sell and move on, the reputation of the local area will have a huge impact on the value of your house.

As for debt-busting, as you seem to have a few hours spare each day, have you thought about doing surveys or mystery shopping, or product testing ?.

[Deleted User]

summerholiday wrote: »

Could you let your property to the council to - use it as an investment yourself and live elsewhere. Is this feasible?

If not sell up and move into rented where there is work. Children are very capable of change as long as they are part of your "cunning plan".

Children are capable of coping with change.., but not when it involves moving home and schools, losing friends on a yearly basis because your TA is up and the LL decides to sell. If the OP is working part time, she is going to have problems renting because a property in a better area is going to be more expensive and she might not be earning enough. Depending on the area.., LL's who will accept tenants in receipt of LHA can be very difficult to find. Stability is important too. As the OP is coming to the end of her plan, hopefully she'll be able to improve her situation in a year or so. Without major expenses like finding deposits and month's rent in advance that could be difficult to find.

I used to love it when people suggested I go out cleaning like it was the ideal solution. And well, with my son (who we later found out had ASD) it just wasn't an option. But it made me feel rather bad when people viewed me as 'unwilling to work' because I didn't leap on what they saw as the ideal solution (cleaning jobs) with equal enthusiasm (he'd have destroyed any place I was trying to clean or I wouldn't have gotten any cleaning done while trying to distract him). They meant well but it made me feel worse because they didn't understand the situation.

Pixie5740

This might brighten your spirits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQwWIm131Zs

It's a clip from The Limmy Show (I'm not sure if you got this south of the border) Christmas special. The character Jacqueline is a bit down on her luck and worrying about Christmas but it has a nice ending.

going_nowhere_fast

patman99 wrote: »

As for debt-busting, as you seem to have a few hours spare each day, have you thought about doing surveys or mystery shopping, or product testing ?.

I did sign up to do surveys but felt uncomfortable about all the personal info it was asking so quit.

going_nowhere_fast

There will be millions of single parents raising children without the financial help from the person that left. Its never been something I've dwelled on, until now that is. All of a sudden it irks me they (the one who left me literally holding the baby) are living in their expensive house, in a nice area, driving a sports car and generally living a nice comfortable life while I have spent years of my life struggling.

Off to look up mystery shopping!

Poppy9

I have done www.Pineconeresearch.co.uk since my daughter was young.


When I was working part time I used to be more conscientious about doing surveys but now I only do about 5 a month but get £4 per survey. Some of the surveys are short (you can change your preference for how many surveys you wish to do via your profile)


It is by invitation only though (i.e. current members get a chance to refer people periodically) though occasionally you may see a banner ad inviting you to join on other websites.

shouldiauctionit

I posted in your last thread and you sound pretty depressed and desperate.

I'm in the same boat and I know it's killing me, and this is without a child so I don't quite know what you're feeling but I am definitely not feeling great either at all.

What's your plan here? When do you expect to be on your way out? And is this losing all your deposit money etc?