PLEASE help me

going_nowhere_fast

Thanks for the replies, I have looked at all options and financially I only have one option available to me - stay here while I clear debt and save enough to cover moving costs. Renting this is not an option for a couple of reasons.

I have had the council deal with one problem neighbour but as they move out another equally bad move in. Its a never ending cycle. The council can't or won't address the areas problems as a whole which is the only way to improve things.

I am normally positive but now and again it feels like I'm not making any progress and quite frankly it hurts that no one cares what I'm experiencing so I've no one to talk to about it. I've been consciously trying to clear debt and get us out of here for 2 years now and 2 years of scrimping with still away to go feels frustrating.

I've spoken to my doctor. They said get yourself away from here and spend as much time out of the house. They said they had spoken to the council and the council were dumping all drug and alcoholic addicts in the area from others.

Hopefully I can perk myself up today transferred a £1 PAD - every little helps so they say.

going_nowhere_fast

Deannatrois - thank you. How do you cope with the dreaded I wants? I say not now and we do lots of other things. My family are very comfortable and live such a different life, I hope my child doesn't start observing that. Sounds like you're doing a great job. I think children recognise what you do for them when they are grown and I'm sure yours will.

PasturesNew

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

My child talks daily about wanting to go to Disney land because the adverts are on TV, they want to go on an aeoroplane like their friends, go to funfairs, zoos etc. I feel like I say no all the time.

To be fair, I think most kids would be told no. I grew up in a two parent, both working, household and we were told no to the ice-cream van! Never mind some posh/very expensive holidays or other stuff.

Marketing/adverts are for the middle classes, not for regular folks. They live in big, light, houses, with large rooms and have nice things. Don't feel bad that's not your lot....it's not the lot of the majority, just the few.

If everybody could afford Disneyland etc they'd have one in Britain, for example.... in fact, there'd be six!

going_nowhere_fast

Good point!

summerholiday

Re: Your situation and predicament. Let's turn this situation on its head. Completely re-evaluate to look for a real change to your life and your (one) child?

I don't have all the answers but I thought about you and would ask you to look at your situation differently.

First of all - you are lucky - in respect that as you are renting a property and not forced to pay a morgage to live / invest in an area which sounds pretty much dire with and unsaleable property except to investors.

You are free and flexible to live wherever you wish in the United Kingdom.

Have you thought about getting a live-in situation (or in the grounds) as a carer / housekeeper. Or work for a private boarding school where there are live-in quarters in the grounds. Children board fulltime and catering is needed around the clock. You child may be able to go the school.

I think you will have to be prepared to re-locate. But, hey! You need to break out of the negative location and exhausting life you are leading and show your child how its done by example ! There are many retired people down here who need support in their own homes and someone in the their home at night.

Look for high retirement areas, South, South-East of London, Bournemouth, Isle of Wight. Speak with Social Services who can help you. There 'Home from Hospital' schemes which will become more and more commonplace as social care is being reformed. Can you government help you / fund a relocation ?

Is this a consideration? I do not know where you live but here in the south I see EU members getting these jobs all the time and, presumably, they start with little.

Would you be prepared to move - what have you to lose?

Could you get someone to look after the child/ren while relocate?

summerholiday

Would you be prepared do an evening cleaning job and take your children with you - they could then use the time to study in peace for a few hours to escape what sounds like a hell-hole. Small offices etc.

I am not always practical but again many foreign workers do this and seem to manage.

[Deleted User]

With my children its more the latest game lol.., thank god they aren't into expensive clothes etc. Disney has been mentioned and I just said (laughing) that'll have to wait til they can afford to keep me in the manor I want to become accustomed to! I tend to find ways to do the things they want to if its important. When my older son had his 18th birthday.., I wanted to show him a different side of life to our usual penny pinching approach so I search and searched, found a cheap 5 star Hotel deal in London, took him to a show and took him out to eat. All on not very much money, but it was a useful experience for him.., while i do believe love is far more important than having money, I don't want his aspirations to be limited by our circumstances. No one could believe I could afford to do all that, but they didn't know how hard I searched for affordable ways to do things.

I can make fabulous birthday cakes that would cost hundreds if I bought them! There's ways to do things so your kids don't feel deprived. Ebay is your friend lol. The kids don't care that something is preloved! My younger son is entirely dressed from ebay finds.., or charity shop clothes.., and they're better quality than what I used to get for my older son but half the price!

But in many ways I think my family sees what really matters, what really gives happiness. My childhood wasn't good, very gloomy, i wanted something different for my own children. We laugh a lot and still have tickle fights lol.

Certainly, they don't see me give up in adversity and it is possible to make things happen even then. I think you should be proud of yourself because you are teaching your kids the same.

I'm soon going to be homeless in emergency accommodation and I know the experience isn't going to be much fun for any of us. But I keep telling the kids no matter what happens, in the end hopefully we'll have a more permanent home and it might even have a bit of grass for a garden! But I've been working hard in the back ground to make sure we aren't forced into what they called shared lettings (one room with shared facilities and god knows who as neighbours). I seem to have won that battle with the council thank god, so anything else is a win!

summerholiday

Could you let your property to the council to - use it as an investment yourself and live elsewhere. Is this feasible?

If not sell up and move into rented where there is work. Children are very capable of change as long as they are part of your "cunning plan".

Zoology_Dragon

summerholiday wrote: »

First of all - you are lucky - in respect that as you are renting a property and not forced to pay a morgage to live / invest in an area which sounds pretty much dire with and unsaleable property except to investors.

The OP owns their home.

going_nowhere_fast

Summer holiday - thank you for your suggestions but none are practical. I own my home (well have a mortgage), I have a decent job which I would not give up (although I work part time now as my child grows I will increase my hours back to full time), I am wanting to relocate (not to the other part of the country though) just cannot afford to, I would be happy to work evenings but with no one willing to help with childcare it is not an option, bedtime is 7.30 so I would not take my child with me even if it was allowed, and renting my house is not an option for a couple of reasons.

I am doing what I can but its a frustratingly slow journey.