PLEASE help me

TBeckett100

OP if you don't mind me asking, which part of the U.K. Are you in?

going_nowhere_fast

marksoton wrote: »

The former means the latter is so unlikely. Let him accuse away, it won't hold any sway.Especially with the evidence you clearly have. You need to break the cycle of his bullying and show him it won't work.

Have you tried
https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=womens+aid

They might be able to give you the support you need.

I did speak to women's aid and took with me all evidence I had and proof I'd offered contact. They said not to worry a court would not grant access and not to be scared by the threats. The solicitors all said the opposite and courts only refuse access if a child has been physically harmed by the person. I think it all depends on what judge you get because the law is a bit vague.

going_nowhere_fast

Tbagpuss - freeing up some money each month to allow more fun is something I'm toying with after feeling so fed up. Even if I'm not seeing friends doing something fun with LO does lift my mood. I have been focussing totally on paying as much as I physically can towards the debt thinking short term pain long term gain. I might just allow myself £5 a week for a Saturday morning cinema. I have been following Dave Ramsey and he very much pushes you to do without fun till your debt is cleared up so it will be out of the way quicker.

I have no problem saying no to the little things since I threw myself into debt repayments its the big I wants like fancy holidays that make me feel guilty.

I am looking for cubs as we speak. No info online for my area so think I will ask around the local churches.

going_nowhere_fast

LannieDuck wrote: »

You could post on the CSA forum here for support / advice about your situation wrt maintenance.

Also, have you tried posting on the debt-free wannabe boards? They're excellent at scrutinising a budget and suggesting small alternations that might save you money without impacting noticeably. Similarly the Old Style boards.

Do you have any skills that you could sell in the evenings? I know that sounds dodgy (!), but I mean playing an instrument, or teaching a foreign language. Could you offer a babysitting service - cheap rates if you can take your child with you? (I don't think you need to be CBA checked for that, but someone will correct me if I'm wrong...).

I know a year (or even 2 years) seems like an awful long time to scrimp and save, but it's really not when compared to the rest of your child's life. I would be inclined to do as you are - bite the bullet and get the unpleasantness over with as quickly as possible.

*hugs* You sound like a really responsible, caring parent.

Hi

I am great at writing the budget - picked up tips from here and step change so on paper I'm perfect. I have however been cheating. I have been putting no money aside for clothes, not spending all my food budget and instead have been using it to pay more towards the debt. I don't want to pay an amount that I'm comfortable with otherwise I'll be stuck here and in debt in years to come. If its painful then its working. Paying off debt takes sacrifices if you're doing it right but it stinks at the same time. I might loosen up a tiny bit though and allow a teeny amount each weekend.

I have no skills! I did look at the open university to improve my prospects but I struggle with the concept of getting more into debt so didn't follow it up.

I love autumn, its such a pretty season with all the different coloured leaves, so I think I will start dragging LO on some long walks at the weekends. They say exercise is good for the mind.

I think who we are as people affects who are attracted to us as friends. I have had a few friends who I've grown to really care about and spent a lot of time with who then dropped me when they found a man. It still stings because I miss their friendship but clearly I valued their friendship more than they valued mine. It got me thinking i wonder why other people make good long lasting friendships, what's wrong with me then I thought maybe its because they are confident happy individuals themselves so they attract like minded people. Project improve self esteem and confidence begins here. Hmm I think I am guilty of sharing too much with friends too, I do it because I've no one else to talk to but maybe its best to take my old dads advice and keep things to myself.

Thank you for your kind words. Its surprising how much comfort you can get from speaking to complete strangers over the web!

going_nowhere_fast

shouldiauctionit wrote: »

Late October listing though? One can only hope!

And OP, do you think that maybe you're unhappy with the house, but that's not the only thing? I mean this in the nicest possible way but it sounds like you don't have much going on apart from your LO. Maybe take a look at meetup (it's a website and mobile app) for some social groups.

Yes October but it was first time buyer in both cases who they sold to so no chain either side.

Yes you are spot on. I am a mum and only a mum that's the problem. Meeting people and making like minded friends isn't easy when you have sole care of a child. That's what I need to do something about.

going_nowhere_fast

TBeckett100 wrote: »

OP if you don't mind me asking, which part of the U.K. Are you in?

Hi, I'm in lancashire

selement

I never got to go to Disneyland. I dont think my parents were even poor... they weren't wealthy, but my Dad worked full time and Mom gave up work to look after the kids. I asked plenty of times but no joy!

Years later when my mom had returned to fulltime work when I was about 14ish we had a holiday to California and i got to go to disneys California adventure (which people say is the worst one! T_T) but hey at least eventually I got to A disney, right?

Trying to convince my bridesmaids for my hen we should do a weekend at disney paris since I still haven't been...

But I don't think my parents were mean or anything! You just can't have everything as a kid. I think money was a bit tight we used to go on camping holidays mainly. They bought the important stuff
Your child will get over it.

I hope you find a way to improve your situation, so take some time to look at what you've already achieved and realise you've already done so well. And no you don't need a man to make life easier! Are there any weekend single parent meetup groups you could join?

deaston

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I feel absolutely heartbroken that my child is growing up here.

Why did you have children if you knew you couldn't afford to bring them up in a place you'd wish.

I desperately want a dog, but my working hours mean it'd not be a very happy dog. So I won't get one.

lulalola

deaston wrote: »

Why did you have children if you knew you couldn't afford to bring them up in a place you'd wish.

I desperately want a dog, but my working hours mean it'd not be a very happy dog. So I won't get one.

What an ignorant comment. You don't know how the OP's situation might have changed.

going_nowhere_fast

deaston wrote: »

Why did you have children if you knew you couldn't afford to bring them up in a place you'd wish.

I desperately want a dog, but my working hours mean it'd not be a very happy dog. So I won't get one.

Think you need to change your user name to something more suited to your grumpy nature. Its clear from your other posts on the mse forum that you're not a very friendly person and you come across quite bitter to be honest.

Life is too short to be like that.

As for the dog. It would be a very unhappy dog living with you anyway, because of your attitude not your working hours.