Pregnant, advised to talk to dad through solicitor

theoretica

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Reading between the lines (and I may be wrong here,) despite the OP saying she 'accidently' fell pregnant; I am struggling to believe it. A woman rarely falls pregnant 'accidently.'

According to this study about 9 in 100 typical women on the pill will become pregnant in a year:
http://www.contraceptivetechnology.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/CTFailureTable.pdf

Little_Miss_Naughty

DUTR wrote: »

PWC = Parent with care
NRP = None resident parent

Thank you, like I said all this is new to me.

I really don't know what to do regarding financial support and until this thread I hadn't given any thought to it. I'm split 50/50 between asking for maintenance and having a clean break and not asking and just managing.

I guess these are the conversations I would to be talking to the father about. I think he is being childish by not talking, he hasn't even told me he doesn't want the baby (his reaction has told me that) but it would have been nice to have had the conversation so I can draw a line and close the chapter so to speak.

Little_Miss_Naughty

Kaye1 wrote: »

Not true. My doctor varied my dose. I had to try a few until I found one that agreed with me. He started me on one tablet a day but after my next check up with the nurse, they changed the dose.

My dose was varied and I was told to take two pills a day and not one. due to it not stopping my spotting / cycle. Apparently this happens with the progestogen only pill. I wasn't able to take the more popular combined pill as it's not recommended for women of my age.

DUTR

Little_Miss_Naughty wrote: »

Thank you, like I said all this is new to me.

I really don't know what to do regarding financial support and until this thread I hadn't given any thought to it. I'm split 50/50 between asking for maintenance and having a clean break and not asking and just managing.

I guess these are the conversations I would to be talking to the father about. I think he is being childish by not talking, he hasn't even told me he doesn't want the baby (his reaction has told me that) but it would have been nice to have had the conversation so I can draw a line and close the chapter so to speak.

Pregnancy has to run it's term before you can even start thinking about Child support contributions,
Do you love him?

Mojisola

Little_Miss_Naughty wrote: »

I really don't know what to do regarding financial support and until this thread I hadn't given any thought to it. I'm split 50/50 between asking for maintenance and having a clean break and not asking and just managing.

DUTR wrote: »

Pregnancy has to run it's term before you can even start thinking about Child support contributions,

Agree - wait until baby arrives before worrying about Child Support.

You might be able to manage without claiming it but his child has the right to financial support from his/her father. If you don't need the money, you can always put it into savings for the child.

Little_Miss_Naughty

DUTR wrote: »

Pregnancy has to run it's term before you can even start thinking about Child support contributions,
Do you love him?

Do I love him? Had you asked me that question a few weeks ago I would of said of course I do, I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I did love. But now.... how can I love someone who can treat me like this, without even discussing what's happening like responsible adults.

Little_Miss_Naughty

Mojisola wrote: »

You might be able to manage without claiming it but his child has the right to financial support from his/her father. If you don't need the money, you can always put it into savings for the child.

I think for me, not taking the money means I can have a clean break / no contact with him, I don't even have to tell him the baby has been born. I don't know if that's my pride talking eg not wanting to take the money because he obviously has shown he doesn't want the child or if it's the clean break idea that's making me think that way.

Him paying maintenance in my view means he is entitled to an opinion on the upbringing etc

Mojisola

Little_Miss_Naughty wrote: »

I think for me, not taking the money means I can have a clean break / no contact with him, I don't even have to tell him the baby has been born. I don't know if that's my pride talking eg not wanting to take the money because he obviously has shown he doesn't want the child or if it's the clean break idea that's making me think that way.

Him paying maintenance in my view means he is entitled to an opinion on the upbringing etc

The child has the right to know both its parents.

You could refuse to claim CM from him and he could still turn up and decide, a few years down the line, that he wants parental responsibility and to have shared care. You can't claim CM retrospectively.

missbiggles1

theoretica wrote: »

According to this study about 9 in 100 typical women on the pill will become pregnant in a year:
http://www.contraceptivetechnology.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/CTFailureTable.pdf

What those statistics show is how many women fail to take the pill properly!

The failure rate of 9 per 100 is for typical use (not typical women!) but this falls to 0.3 per 100 when used perfectly. This seems to me to illustrate the point that some women who fall pregnant while on the pill do so because of subconsciously wanting to become pregnant and therefore using the pill carelessly, whilst the rest make mistakes in its usage out of ignorance.

The difference between 9 in 100 and 0.3 in 100 is enormous and shows that, used perfectly, the pill is actually more effective than female sterilisation (failure rate of 0.5)!

gettingtheresometime

As I said before OP I think you're asking too much too soon.

As I said I know someone whose FWB is pregnant with his child and his head is all over the place at the moment - and he is a decent enough guy as well.

He's not being childish -he needs to understand how HE feels before he can talk to you honestly or do you hope to back him into a corner that's not right for any of you?