Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

tiggerjj

Hi everyone. I think i posted on here a while ago (can't remember which username) back then i started feeling better by myself. now things have gone downhill again.
i dont have anyone i can talk to, i dont live in my native country, i dont have any of my own friends here and my friends back home i have drifted away from a little due to geography.
as i am writing this tears are streaming down my face.

things at work are bad, i am doing 2 peoples work load with a boss who doesnt see that and doesnt care. last night i was trying to cook dinner, had to read the receipe 10 times and still couldnt make a decision as to which pan i should use. i couldnt move forward to actually cooking food, my boyfriend couldnt understand why i was crying and what was wrong and i couldnt explain it to him. he just wants to make it better but i cant explain why it is such a mess.

a few weeks ago i was at training session for a sport i do and i was put on the spot and had to do something which i was nervous about. although logically i know and knew i could say i cant do it and there would be no pressure but i ended up running out of the room, i couldnt think straight, couldnt do anything, logic was gone.

im so confused and i dont know how to make things better

Georgiegirl256

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

How horrid for your mum, Georgie! Well done for standing up for her! I often used to get tutted at by people when I was out. My balance disorder means I can't step down a kerb unassisted, I have no sense of balance and my head spins so I need to stand still and lean on someone as I do so, the same happens with slopes. I often had people in a hurry mutter at me and it is really hurtful. I would love to be able to step up and down a kerb like everyone else!
.

It really annoys me when people automatically judge someone without knowing the ins and outs of someone's condition. People should be more patient and tolerant of other people. I know we can all get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and get annoyed, but most of us try and understand. You're always going to get idiots who just can't be told or don't want to be told.

elsien

Hi tiggerjj, sorry to hear things are getting on top of you at the moment - it must be hard being away from friends and family at the best of times, more so when things are harder. Sounds like you might need a bit of help getting things back on track - have you been to see your doctor, that might be a starting point.

whitewing

tea,

What are your reasons for wanting to talk to him yourself?

Do you miss him?

Does it not bother you that he cheated on you?

He doesn't sound to me like he has a lot going for him.

I don't think you should speak to him but I wonder what you think would happen if you did speak to him?

mellymoo74

Welly ed team won't see me yet not lost enough weight.

Tea I agree thinking about it OH didn't get seen for 6 weeks and he's suicidal so got rushed through.
FOH may be on anti depressants and they maybe starting to have an effect but not enough.

Eta he may have gone private ut does he really strike you as someone who would go
Rather than someone who would say they are for own way

mellymoo74

Hi tigger the docs is a good start.
Sometimes with depression you can't keep information in your brain I know my OH struggles to remember stuff said 5 mins ago.

tea_lover

Tbh, I find "does it not bother you that he cheated on you" really quite offensive. I want to speak to him to sort his belongings out and to leave things on a better note. Seems perfectly reasonable to want to end a ten yr relationship with a conversation rather than a prosecution.

When my mum was suicidal she got NHS help straight away. She later accessed private counselling the same day, and I've also spoken to local counsellors who were available straight away.

If people weren't capable of self-realisation and change there'd be no point to counselling at all. And to be clear that is not me saying for a second that I would ever enter into a relationship with him again. But there are many reasons why I could want to speak to him now that he's getting the help he's needed for years. None of which means I don't care that he cheated on me.

mellymoo74

Tea i wasn't saying that lovely. Your having an understandable wobble.
Have you read some of the women's aid stuff? Cos this is also usual.
I think the councillor is the same as church he knows you would like it not he knows he needs help to change.

You want to talk to him partially for closure for you and because you hope he's changed what will it achieve? It won't make you feel better if he's upset cos you will be, if he promises the earth and you go back is that what you want or are you wobbling cos it's the unknown.

Ultimately your choice pudding but really really think about it.

whitewing

tea,

I am sorry that I have upset you tonight.

I am worried for you too though. I am worried that you are wanting to talk to him, especially as police baby is away at the moment. I am worried that he may hurt you either physically or emotionally. Surely the talking can wait until next week? If he needed the stuff he would have already sorted it out with the police.

Waves_and_Smiles

Welcome back, tigger! I am so sorry things are so hard for you right now, it is very common to have memory lapses with anxiety and depression. I know it can feel as if you are going insane when the smallest things feel impossible but it is very common, you are by no means alone in what you are going through. I agree, seeing your GP might be a good idea and of course you can talk to us here as much as you need to.