Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

elsien

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Seeing it all together on a form and having to think about how much my life is actually affected by my conditions is so depressing, it makes me feel like a freak and utterly useless to anyone. I look and feel like a complete disaster, it is horrid to write this stuff down.

I can do this!

Again WaS, that is a completely normal reaction to the blasted forms. I remember working with a woman with ld who was so proud of the independence that she'd achieved that having to fill in the DLA form really upset her because it is just a big list of can'ts. Remember though that there's a lot more to everyone than a big list of can'ts. Just because the form doesn't ask about the positives doesn't mean they're not there.
And in terms of the ESA, if my knob of a nephew can hang on to his when there's very little wrong with him other than idleitis, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Don't forget you've got your doctor, fluffy bulldozer etc onyour side who can provide masses of supporting evidence. I know that doesn't take the stress away right now, but you have more than enough reason to claim. Whilst still being a lovely useful human being.

ETA - Tea, you need to close the account or get your name taken off it rather than empty it and leave it. Theoretically FoH could run up an overdraft in there and you'd both be equally liable for it - it's one of the things solicitors suggest sorting straight away when people split up. Are they open on Saturday mornings?

mellymoo74

WaS you can do it!

I failed to go to interview couldn't get motivated.

Feel free to shout had a chat with OH who has pointed out that my not going to some shows how ill I am I wouldn't have dreamt of not going previously.

Managed two forks of rice and one of chilli last night just managed 2 spoons of porridge.

pollyanna_26

Hello to all . Been mia due to flu and then the virus from hell .
WAS - Sending gentle squishes . I seem to recall you have access to a support worker or social worker ( brain is still fuddled ) . I am wondering if they have a copy of The big book of benefits and mental health . When I realised the esa form my daughter had to complete in October was different to Incapacity forms I bit the bullet and bought a copy . I know most benefit advisers have copies of the book to refer to It costs £23.00 to buy + reduced p&p too expensive for claimants .
We found it excellent and as I mentioned in a previous post my daughter had her esa renewed and remains in the support group . It could be worth you asking .
I agree taking each section at a time over a week or two is the best plan . It is upsetting to have to lay out your life but sadly it has to be done to have any kind of life . I will be thinking of you and sending good vibes . You are a stronger person than you were when you first started posting and all the golden lights will be with you every step of the way
Take care sweetheart
Love polly x

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you, you are all correct and also lovely. Even worse than fear the ESA will be stopped is the horror of seeing it all written down. It sounds odd but I don't consider my life that different to anyone else's on a day to day basis, I live in my little bubble where it all just seems very ordinary to me. It isn't until I am asked questions about things society says I am supposed to be able to do that I realise how removed from the norm my life is. I went through my 20's very unwell and full of regrets and self-hatred for the abilities I had lost but 17 years on I have adapted and it is my normality. I don't feel sorry for myself or have any what-if's, it is just ordinary life to me. The forms remind me that my lifestyle is very different to what is expected, that there is so much I cannot do that I should be able to and that hurts.

It's funny because each time my benefit is approved first there is huge relief that is then quickly followed by a feeling of depression that other people agree that my life really does mean that I am so restricted, can't work and need support to live. It is very bittersweet everytime.

Izadora

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I live in my little bubble where it all just seems very ordinary to me.

I think that describes most people's lives though. Whatever works for you is always going to seem normal to you. That doesn't mean it's better or worse than someone else's life, just that it's better for you.

Georgiegirl256

WaS, big hugs, and thinking of you. The uncertainty of it all must be so hard and just brings everything you deal with day to day (but cope with extremely well) to the forefront of everything, and I can imagine why it makes it a really hard time for you.

I don't know how long they give you to fill these forms in, and I know it's easy for me to say, but just try and bite the bullet and get it over and done with as soon as you can and then it's out of the way and you can try a relax, even just a little bit.

Tea, definitely try and get to the bank tomorrow morning if they are open. The sooner you get it closed the better as it is just one more (unwanted ) connection that he still has with you, and like has already been said, he could run up the overdraft and totally clear it out. Take everything that is rightly yours, you owe him nothing.

tea_lover

Not a chance I can get there tomorrow. This is the problem with banks insisting that things have to be done in branch! Seems ridiculous that I can phone up and do enough security checks to change my mortgage, but I can't take my name off an account over the phone.

Georgiegirl256

That does seem stupid tea.

Went to make some blueberry muffins and then realised I don't have a muffin tin! I did have one, it must be in that place where the knives etc are! So instead of making muffins I've made a blueberry loaf instead and am winging it abit with the timing.

Pyxis, when is it you go on holiday? Is weekend?

jobbingmusician

Hello WaS and welcome back to the thread! Well, you've done brilliantly writing down here what is wrong. Would it help if you pretended you were filling out someone else's form, went right through ALL of this thread, wrote down all the things that this mysterious WaS person has listed, and then categorised them all into the right questions? As if it wasn't you at all? (And keeping a copy of the form is a very good idea - I've just done Mr JM's and the last 2 forms were a great help in not forgetting things. In fact I even put, rather sarkily 'strangely enough, nothing has actually got better since we last completed these forms. Why do you put people with long term illnesses through the torture of filling them in time after time?'

Birdie85

Just jumping in from my busy afternoon (of looking for decorating ideas for my bedroom! *ahem*) and LOOK! PUG WALLPAPER! I wonder if DH would agree to a pug theme?! :rotfl: