Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Pyxis

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hmmm, it might be time to cut contact for a while at least, tea. I think I would at this point. There is no reason why you can't be friends in a few months if you want that but for now it might be best to say you don't wish him to text you anymore and tell him that he needs to move on. Do it directly and calmly so it isn't horribly awkward when he comes for his stuff, but make it clear that you want no further contact until that time. I think that is the path that I would choose.

Yes, Tea, I agree with WaS. It's starting to get uncomfortable for you now. How does he know what you're doing? It's getting a bit silly. So some neutral, but direct talk is the order of the day now. Lay it on the line, calmly, and in a matter of fact way.
Otherwise, he's still controlling your emotions. Oh, by seeming to be making offers of help, lifts and so on, but it's still a way of controlling, as if to say, "See? You can't do without me, really!"

Edit
Tea! CHANGE THE LOCKS! Like ASAP!

Georgiegirl256

It's now gone from seamingly trying to helpful ex to creepy somewhat obsessive ex

I thought at first (when you posted the other day) that it seemed like he was just trying to be friendly and helpful and maybe feeling somewhat sentimental etc because of Christmas, but now he's pushed it too far.

Is there anyone who could perhaps 'house sit' until you get back tonight and then you can change the locks tomorrow? I was going to say that could you get your keys back, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't taken a copy of them. So changing locks is definitely the way to go.

heartbreak_star

Oh Tea! Big hugs - I second a house-sitter if you can get one!

And good luck with tonight.

HBS x

Pyxis

((((((((((((((((Tea)))))))))))))))))))



Golden lights, Tea, Golden Lights!


We're all with you! Lots of Golden Lights!

tea_lover

*thinks happy golden lights thoughts*

Was thinking bout a house sitter but the only person I could realistically ask is my dad, and I'm not having him and my mum freaked out all night. Also thought about not going tonight but had only just talked myself into looking forward to it!

Am putting my faith in the fact that his inate cowardice will win out this evening. Then will have to see if I can subtly get my dad to help me change the locks tomorrow.

Flybaby

tea - Agree with others - change the locks all round. Perhaps text him that his messages are all inappropriate and you have made it clear that you want no further contact with him AT ALL, EVER AGAIN and that you will liase with his mum to return his stuff. If he then texts again, call his mum and let her know that you have told him clearly to stop contacting you and that his behaviour is now becoming scary and you are considering contacting the police.
Big Hugs tea - horrible situation. Do you have a male friend who you trust who would be willing to call him and tell him to leave you alone?

codemonkey

That is weird tea. Does he have access to your emails or know any of your passwords? I wonder if he's lurking on here.

tea_lover

I think he'd struggle to even remember my email address, let alone know any passwords. He just wasn't in the slightest bit interested in my life when we were together (we've really got no mutual friends...could be handy now!)

It's just making me determined to go out tonight, to keep chatting on pof and to actually meet up with someone. Am done having my life planned around what he wants.

Pyxis

Yey! Go Tea!

No more being controlled!

You do what you want to do! :T:T

elsien

Phone call from ER nearest relatives, full of misinformation. Eg hospital says ER "will have to go into residential care." Even though they still haven't identified what's wrong or carried out any sort of capacity assessment. They have also apparently "extended the S2."
Someone pass me a brick wall to bang my head against.