Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

tea_lover

I think that's certainly part of it Georgie. Although he somehow knew I was away with work before I'd even joined.
One of the many texts said that someone had sent him a link to my profile.

Georgiegirl256

I guess his thinking was that you and him would always get back together, but now he sees you're taking steps to moving on and he doesn't like it and so the texts etc have increased.

Are you able to change your mobile number? My BF had this guy bothering her nonstop, sending texts etc. so she contacted the police and they gave her a crime number (or something?) and then she contacted her network and they changed it free of charge.

elsien

Maybe you could consider asking the police to give him a harrassment warning if he carries on. These aren't official cautions, although they can stay on file depending on the circumstances, more of a heads up to a person that their behaviour is out of order and will land them in strife if they continue.

Flybaby

tea - hope you are ok - I think what you are describing is horrendous and I would be scared to death so you are handling it very well. Definitely agree it is time to get advice from the police. There is not handling a break up very well and then there is stalking and being followed is being stalked.
If you need any help with the lock changing - feel free to pm me with photos of your locks and I would be happy to advise and talk you through it since DIY is my area. No idea where you live or else I would offer to come over and do it for you. Big hugs

Flybaby

Meant to say that I was most impressed of everyone having a go at the Christmas do's and socialising. I stopped going to anything social for work a long time ago and I think you are all very brave.


Does anyone else have an intense dislike of drunk people that stops them from socialising? I don't mean people who have a drink and get tipsy and are funny or giggly - I am referring to the people who get abusive, nasty, violent, aggressive etc when they are drunk. Is it just me that finds "alcohol" an invalid excuse for aggressive behaviour?

Pyxis

19th December


6...................

Pyxis

codemonkey wrote: »

Tea, I really think you need to call 101 and ask for advice as this behaviour is stalking.

It might be an idea to start logging every text, call, incident like him following you, and write down any you can remember to date, just so you've got a log to show if you ever have to call the police.

tea_lover wrote: »

Also just realised I had 7 missed calls from him tonight.

Can you block his number on your phone?
As has been said before, best not to put your movements down on Facebook.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Are you able to change your mobile number? My BF had this guy bothering her nonstop, sending texts etc. so she contacted the police and they gave her a crime number (or something?) and then she contacted her network and they changed it free of charge.

Good idea! A pain to let everyone else know though.


Re. The locks..........yes, if it's a Yale lock, you can change the barrel very easily. You'd need to note any serial number on it, to ensure the right size.

With a mortise lock, it's still easy to unscrew it, remove it and replace with a new one. Trouble with that is that if the replacement isn't the exact same size, you need to adjust the cavity size in the door. However, if the existing lock is relatively modern, ie metric size, that shouldn't be a problem.

Don't know about plastic doors as I don't have any, but you said about accessing it through the garage, so you'd probably only need to change the garage lock? In the meantime, could you wedge a chair under the handle of the plastic door when you go out? You know, so that the handle can't be depressed from outside?

Sorry, Georgie, don't think I agree with you about insurance company thing, as technically that's fraud. However, it might be worth having a word with them to explain the circumstances, as they may have a system for replacing locks where a former inhabitant has gone without relinquishing the keys. Especially where there might be a malicious intent in the offing. You can only ask!

Tea, if you're worried about him reading this thread, it might also be a good idea to be careful about saying what your movements are on here.
I was going to ask you what you were going to do over Christmas, but I don't think you should tell me now!

Jeez! What a pain! But remember, it's ironic that someone should profess heartfelt love and then follow you about and inundate you with unwanted calls. That's not love; that's wanting to be in control again. True love is kind and gentle, not obsessive and stalky.

Would his mum be willing to take his things? In the circumstances? Either way it might be an idea to fill her in on what's been happening if you think she could talk some sense into him.
I know it would entail expense, but could you consider hiring a man with a van to load up all,his things and take them round to his place? You could tell him "they are arriving on such and such a day, make sure you are in to receive them". He has his own place now, I believe, so there's no need for his stuff to still be at yours. If he says there's no room, well, that's his problem.
It's been long enough, and you don't have to put up with this any longer. Especially in view of his current behaviour.


Big hugs, Tea. ((((((((((((((Tea))))))))))))))) :A

seven-day-weekend

Hi everyone, what stressful times some of you are having.

It makes me feel even more of a wimp to say that I am stressed out about this latest dogsit we have. It's a huge big house and the dogs are fine, but the main thing I find stressful is letting them out into the garden, because it is dark. I live in fear and dread of one of them escaping and me not being able to see them. That' s why I've been on here since 4.30 am, waiting for it to get light before I go downstairs. Normally I would just get up, but if I get up I will have to let them out and it is still pitch black, have to wait another hour.

I HATE these dark nights, absolutely loathe them, I mean it's dark for sixteen hours at the moment, thank goodness we have the shortest day soon and then we start climbing back out of it, if only we could have the long days of June all the time, I'd have been in the garden with the dogs ages ago.

Also one of the dogs is very old and frail and I'm worried she'll die as the last old one I looked after did, on my watch.

Still it finishes tomorrow so only one more sleep. I think I'm going to give it up for a while, I actually find it quite stressful at the moment.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble about something so inconsequential, I hope you all have good days today.

#Tea, that is awful about your ex. I hope he takes the hint soon, but meanwhile change those locks . Thinking of you today.

Wellyboots6

Tea, could he have created a fake profile on pof and be getting information via that?
Id definitely call 101 and ask about a harassment warning. The police cab then use that as evidence he is displaying unwanted behaviour if they ever have to take further action.

whitewing

http://www.stalkinghelpline.org/ This is only open weekdays and I think you should call 101 today, tea.

Let's just hope he is being a plonker and when he has someone tell him so , he will be genuinely sorry and give you space.

Off to work. See you later in the duvet fort.