Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

calleyw

faerielight wrote: »

morning, Jobbing and Waves.. that is such good advice to try sndf wait.. it seems so dam impossible at the mo for me, but I can really try. You are also right about panic spiraling everything out of control.. I am in a blind panic all the time, as I'm not medically safe, therefore I don't feel emotionally safe either. It is excruciating trying to hold off and curb my impulses, because although they are negative and dysfunctional, those maladaptive coping methods have made me survive, so to give them up triggers feeling more unsafe. It's a desperate place to be and it is crazy how strong those impulses are! I'm going to go to bed for an hour .. thanks guys .. you are all so awesome and wise

I did read something that if you want to text/email/message type it out in a blank e-mail/text etc with no address details and then once you have vented delete it.

Just a thought and something I need to learn to do. As well as breathe when I get in to one of my reactions.

Yours

Calley

whitewing

faerielight,

I am really interested in how your group session goes today. My gp has suggested these sessions for me in the past but they haven't fitted in around work.

I am very much looking forward to hearing all about it - the bits you like, and the bits that make you feel uncomfortable.

If you just get one thought-provoking moment out of the session, then that's an excellent result for today!

Waves_and_Smiles

Aha, yes Calley! I forgot that one! Another technique I use is to find a trusted friends email address and type out all the panic and bad feelings, completely honestly. I know I can send the email if I want to but I hardly ever do. Once I have typed everything out I feel so much relief, I actually feel like I have told someone how I feel and a lot of the panic dissipates.

Faerie, my psychoanalyst told me that I based my whole life on containment of panic. He was very right, just about everything I did was to stop myself feeling afraid. I was scared all of the time, that tight throat feeling and adrenaline rush. I felt incapable of thinking about anything rationally because all the time I was fighting this total terror and careering from one situation to the next to try to stop the feeling.

I had to learn to stand back from myself. That doesn't happen easily and it took me quite a while. I needed to realise that the bad feelings were what I felt as a child but that I didn't need to be afraid anymore. When we grow up being scared all of the time our body adopts it as it's natural state, it feels normal to be on high alert (it's called hyper-vigilant) and we approach everything from that place because it is what we feel has kept us safe. We need to learn that as adults that there are other ways to be safe now and we are not in danger anymore. A big part of that is learning to accept that we feel afraid, understand why those feelings are there and then telling ourselves that we are safe now. Even little things like writing it down, cuddling a pet or toy or doing some other things that soothe us can help. Tiny steps, it takes a while to teach our body and brain that we don't have to be scared anymore. Sometimes simply saying aloud to myself "WaS, you don't have to be afraid anymore" helps me quite a lot.

Very true, JM! Most people (everyone?) wonders periodically why people want to be their friends and care for them. We all worry if we are good enough and if we are about to be abandoned at times. There is a strange comfort in that.

jobbingmusician

And I realise I haven't posted to say AWESOME flybaby for your new course! And also I am green with envy cos I love studying (especially from a distance lol)

Georgiegirl256

Brilliant post WaS!

Faerie, just let that other thread run on it's own now, just leave it well alone, and leave them all to argue amongst themselves, be causes that's what will (and is) happening.

I've got something that's really bothering me (don't want to talk about it now), am trying to put it to the back of my mind so I can enjoy my holiday, but failing. Anyone got any good techniques?

heartbreak_star

Must be the binging season, I've had an awful few days too. Thakfully I've managed to shove myself out for a run every day so that's mitigated the damage a little bit, but I still feel rubbish for the food.

HBS x

Birdie85

I wonder if it's the change in season/weather that's making everyone want to stock up for winter? I've been really hungry/snacky (not quite bingeing though) this last week, totally off the diet wagon, even going so far as not bothering to prepare my breakfasts this week like I usually do so I can just eat cookies for breakfast at work. Must do better next week!

codemonkey

I will not be doing much in the way of binge eating today as I have no food and I've hurt my back so can't hobble to the shops to get any. I am on tramadol today so forgive me if nothing makes any sense. I haven't eaten so feel a bit hazy.

WaS, you really do post beautifully. Thanks to everyone who helped you and encouraged you to make these threads a safe place.

heartbreak_star

Big gentle hugs Code! Feel better soon.

HBS x

Pyxis

The Little Book of Squishy WaSnesses! :T
I like it!:)

WaS, you're a marvel! Hahahahahaha Marvel Comics! You could be SuperWaS!



Flybaby! Go for it! The first few days are always the worst! I'm sure it'll improve as you find your feet!


Georgie, one thing I found quite useful is this........what is The most upbeat, feelgood song you know? Sing it to yourself. A couple of times. Then, everytime that intrusive thought comes into your mind, start singing the feelgood song, either out loud or internally, and smile a lot. Every time. The intrusive thought will eventually get fed up with being squashed by the feelgood song! And you'll be able to enjoy your holiday!

Birdie......:( Too late. On my way back from the Chiropractor's, I popped into M&S and bought a stash of goodies. Sorry JM.
(I have some really horrible family stuff going on.)
But I'm away for the weekend, and although my meals will be provided, there won't be any chance of binging, just having three proper meals a day, so hopefully that will break the cycle again.

It might also be due to the weather being colder PLUS the nights drawing in......I really must get a light box.

I'm hoping to restart Zumba next week, if the leg holds up, so that will be a great help.

Just thought, the feelgood song might work if I use it to squash thoughts of doughnuts etc!!



((((((((code)))))))))