Divorce, am I making the right decision?

barbiedoll

She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you. Don't fall for the rubbish about your mate, she's just trying to see him off. If he'd made a pass at her, she would have told you about it before now.

I think she's got a right nerve, berating you for going out but then swanning off on weekends away and long-haul jollies with her mates. It's not the behaviour of someone in a committed relationship, is it?

Get the house on the market, get the divorce on the go and then you'll be free to meet someone who will appreciate you. And don't look back!

Pixie5740

You're not happy, she's not happy and there doesn't seem to be away forward. Start getting your ducks in a row, go out with your friends this weekend and unfriend your wife on Facebook.

Misskittycat_2

Hi,

I think you are sounding as if you are doing well and working through a difficult situation. I am in a similar position with my partner, been together a long time and split up for a short period early last year. If I'm honest we should have spent more time apart to both get a better understanding of what we wanted.

We were able to chat and work through things and for the past year and for a time things were really good but I can see the signs that we are heading backwards. Any issues I raise are thrown back in my face and I am seen as the "moaner" in the relationship. My partner too has diagnosed depression and will never be able to see the selfishness this brings into our relationship. I try my best to understand but I am not his mother.

Things I have done, because if it does go wrong I will need a support network, are spend time with my friends, go the gym and I've started cycling.

I just don't know for us what is for the best but at least this way I'm also looking after myself much more and not being walked over.

Take some of the advise already given, do things for you for a period of time and you will hopefully be able to start to prioritise what makes you happy and if you want to still give your marriage a chance maybe making the break temporarily will give you the breathing space to reflect on what you actually want.

One of the best things I did when we split was deactivate my Facebook account as it took me away from the world which is so false at times and I quickly learnt who were my actual friends and cared about me.

Look After Yourself.

System

She's lying to you.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if SHE had come on to him and is getting the story out there first...

This is dangerous. She's clearly not right at all.

skint_chick

I'm with the others, if he really had come on to her she would have told you straight away! I would definitely tell my husband if one of his friends came on to me. She is definitely trying to control you - even if I was 100% sure my OH is talking about me in the pub rather than computer games or football like usual - I still wouldn't need to go crazy demanding he tell me what was said. I also wouldn't text him on a night out, I know he'll come home when he's ready and if he needs me he'll call. It's not normal to be hassling you on a night out or expecting you to ask permission to go to the pub. What's with all the weekends away? Why doesn't she want to go away with you/stay home and spend time with you?


I wouldn't even ask your friend, you know what the answer is going to be.

class2ldn

Invite your mate round but don't tell him what she said, once they are in the same room pipe up and ask her what she told you the other day.
You'll know from their reactions whether it's true or not.
Personally as others have said she's probably just getting in their first.
Don't let her take you for a doormat mate.
Hope it all works out and not with her.
Holiday to Cuba, I'd have sold the house by the time she got back lol

sunshinetours

If you were seeing this as a third party that someone else had written, what would you be advising?

Its hard as you are so involved and living it day to day but I would serious seriously take the advice to get your financial affairs in place and start creating your own destiny, not one that someone else is bullying you into.

Its almost irrelevant IMO if she is cheating on you or not reading what I am reading.

I do wish you the best of luck OP