Who should pay?

gingercordial

Gigervamp wrote: »

Don't wait for her to get back to you, contact her and tell her you're going to sell them.

Agreed. "Don't worry about it, I've listed them for sale."

Job done.

belisha-beacon

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

But after reading all replies (all, not just ones that are sympathetic to my point of view) I realise and agree she shouldn't pay for her own ticket as that is my gift to her and it'll be like any other useless/unwanted gift. I just think she should pay for mine even though its same thing.

I think this is the best way forward as I think this is the way to salvage our friendship. If she doesn't pay for half then I will resent her and hold a grudge. If she paid me 100% then she would resent me and hold a grudge so 50/50 is probably the fairest way.

It's a shame you will resent her if she doesn't pay for half. I can see how you're in a horrible situation, and I'd be miffed if it was me. But putting yourself in her shoes: if she didn't know what you were intending to book then, even though she picked the date, she wouldn't have had in mind how serious it was. You're feeling she's let you down because she let you go ahead and pay £200 without properly checking she could do it - but to her, that's not what she did.

If a friend asked me to save a date for them, I'd think 'Lovely - maybe she got a Groupon voucher for afternoon tea at a nice restaurant, or perhaps there's a good film on'. Yes, I'd write it in my diary and try to keep it free, but it just wouldn't burn into my brain in the way it would have if she said "Can you definitely save this date cos I'm getting you an amazing surprise but it involves a non-refundable £200". If she said the second phrase, I'd probably say, "Look, my sister hasn't booked her wedding date yet and I can't let you take that much risk on my behalf".

What she 'owes' you for is letting you down on the thing you'd said you were doing for her - a surprise on a particular date. I don't think she owes you £100 for the waste of a ticket she never agreed to you buying for her. But, as others have said, it's your decision. If her not paying you £100 means you can't live without holding a grudge against her, then by all means ask her for it. You may well crumble the friendship but being unable to shake off a grudge would do that anyway.

KxMx

It may not have been £100 per ticket (and anyone who thinks OP is making up the cost has clearly only been to mildly popular shows), fees can account for a large % of the total these days, booking fee, transaction fee, post fee, card fee all get added on to various degrees.

Some are charged per ticket some per order.

Even buying direct from Venue you pay at least one of these, and major ticket sites can be all four!

As to the OP yes I would be annoyed if I went through the same scenario with a friend of mine.

My solution would be to explain to them as they weren't able to use my gift, I would need to sell the tickets on.

Petra_70

belisha-beacon wrote: »

If a friend asked me to save a date for them, I'd think 'Lovely - maybe she got a Groupon voucher for afternoon tea at a nice restaurant, or perhaps there's a good film on'. Yes, I'd write it in my diary and try to keep it free, but it just wouldn't burn into my brain in the way it would have if she said "Can you definitely save this date cos I'm getting you an amazing surprise but it involves a non-refundable £200". If she said the second phrase, I'd probably say, "Look, my sister hasn't booked her wedding date yet and I can't let you take that much risk on my behalf".

If her not paying you £100 means you can't live without holding a grudge against her, then by all means ask her for it. You may well crumble the friendship but being unable to shake off a grudge would do that anyway.

I agree with all this. ^^^ The OP's friend could not possibly have known that the OP was going to pay £200 for something that can allegedly not be cancelled or reversed or sold on. As you say belisha, if the OP had said to her friend that she was spending £200 on something, and she needs her to definitely keep that date free, then the friend could have, and probably would have said 'best not to do that because I don't know when my sister's wedding is yet...' If I had been the OP's friend, I would have thought it was just a spa day or a meal out or a balloon flight or something; any of those could be re-arranged to another date.

As many have said, I don't see this friendship lasting.

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Quit trying to make out that you're right and I'm wrong.

I know what I know, and I KNOW that the average ticket price for a concert is NOT £100. You must think you're talking to someone who was born yesterday. I have been to over 30 concerts in the last few years, and they have NOT been 'crap seats!' Many have been less than £40, and have been in front third of the stadium, sometimes near the front.

Yes I ACKNOWLEDGE that SOME stars and SOME tickets cost into 3 figures, and that SOME seats cost more. I am not disputing that.

What I was saying is that there is no WAY that the average ticket price for a concert/singer/band is a £100 like YOU were implying.

In your first post regarding this, you never mentioned anything about it being seat dependent, and you added that further down to try and prove yourself right.

Quit moving the goalposts Catkins. I am not wrong. I KNOW what I have paid for tickets for the 30-odd concerts I have been to over the last few years, and it has NOT been £100, nowhere near. If your experience is different, then I feel sorry for you, because you're being ripped off.

I have no more to say on this and am not discussing it any further with you, because although I acknowledge that I am not always right about things, I know I am right regarding this.

I was surprised to hear that anyone got Take That tickets for £38, but when I looked this up, yes you can get the tickets for that, but they are right at the back of the stadium. However, you can get them for that price. I have to agree though, that the average price for a concert ticket for most bands and singers (maybe 75% of them) would be between £30 and £55. And as you said, many of them would be good seats.

We have been to around 15 concerts in the last 10 years, and I don't think we have ever paid more than £45 actually, and they have been mostly big acts, and mostly not too far back from the stage. I think many people would say the same, and paying over £100 for a concert ticket is not the norm for many.

jetplane wrote: »

I think your friendship is doomed whatever happens, if she doesn't pay you won't forgive her, if you make her pay she won't forgive you. The End

I agree.

Gigervamp

If a friend of mine had told me she was planning to spend £200 on a birthday/xmas gift on me, I'd have told her not to. It's far too much money to spend and I'd feel really awkward about it because, there's no way I would be able to reciprocate on my friend's birthday.

That is another thing to consider. If she'd have known how much you were planning on spending, she might very well have said don't.

toniq

So op put us out of our misery and tell us who the band is?

And if you won't why can't you?


x

Petra_70

Hmm yeah, I am wondering why she hasn't said yet too! :rotfl:

Pollycat

toniq wrote: »

So op put us out of our misery and tell us who the band is?

And if you won't why can't you?


x

I believe the OP said that she doesn't think the name of the band is relevant.

I tend to agree with her. The only reason for her saying who the band is would be for other posters to conjecture how easy it would be to resell the tickets.

gingercordial

Pollycat wrote: »

I believe the OP said that she doesn't think the name of the band is relevant.

I tend to agree with her. The only reason for her saying who the band is would be for other posters to conjecture how easy it would be to resell the tickets.

There might be someone on here who is a massive fan and would take them off her hands!

Incidentally if the OP is still reading most tickets do say on them that you can't resell them. That's to put off scalpers from buying them up to resell as their business, not that it does really stop them. If it isn't a huge festival like Glastonbury, where they print your passport photo onto the ticket to ensure it's you turning up, it doesn't matter at all. I have never been asked to prove ID on turning up to a concert, unless collecting the tickets at the same time. Selling them will be fine.

fairy_lights

Spending £200 on a birthday gift for a friend is hugely extravagant and I would feel a bit uncomfortable if someone did that for me, especially if the gift was tickets to see a band the giver didn't even want to see themselves.
And then if I couldn't attend the concert and they expected me to give them money for the cost of the tickets I think I would seriously be questioning the friendship.
Yes, it's annoying that OP's friend said she would save the date and turned out to have a wedding to go to, but it's not like she knew how important/immovable the surprise OP had arranged was and hadn't asked her to spend so much money.