Who should pay?

consultant31

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

Once again, I would see it as her paying for MY ticket. My ticket is not her gift.

Ok, so she pays for your ticket, she is now giving you a gift.....is it YOUR birthday??

You sound quite young to me, not willing to see that you really CANNOT, in any way, ask her to reimburse you for either one or both tickets. As an older woman myself, I can assure you that a good friend is absolutely priceless - worth far more than £200 lost due to a genuine misunderstanding.

You really need to decide how much this friend means to you, because unless you sell these tickets on and get (at least most of) your money back, there's no way your friendship will survive.

ETA: Upon reflection, I don't think it will last anyway due to the way your mind is obviously working.....I can't see you forgiving her, even if you get your money back by selling the tickets on.

splishsplash

OP, it's unfortunate that you went to such lengths to surprise your friend with a fabulous gift. I think it's natural to feel hurt that it's been thrown back in your face. I know you agreed on a date to celebrate her birthday together and it's a pity the wedding clashed with that date. I wouldn't blame you for feeling mightily peeved, particularly if the tickets cost a lot more than you would normally spend on a gift.

Where you lose me is translating your hurt and anger into trying to reclaim the money from her. It just doesn't follow. You cannot do that. It's out of order.

It's also out of order to expect her to sort out getting someone to use the tickets.

It's nice of her, and it shows how badly she must feel having to turn down the outing, but it really is not her responsibility in any way, shape of form. That's your job.

You've had lots of excellent suggestions about how you can recoup the cost of the tickets on this thread - make use of them. Do not leave it to your friend. Be gracious and tell her not to worry, too bad it didn't work out, the thought was there, maybe you can arrange something else at a more suitable time.

Do not let your hurt and anger make you into a petty, peevish, miser. It isn't worth it.

catkins

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I know that there are a few acts who charge exorbitant prices for concert tickets, but it's the exception rather than the rule, and it's simply untrue that £100 is a 'fairly common' price for concert tickets. I have been to about 30 concerts in the past 6/7 years; featuring all kinds of different bands and artists, and not one single one has cost more than £50. Even One Direction were only £37! Ellie Goulding was £49 and Ed Sheeran was £22. Even take That was only £38. The majority of the tickets were under £30.

You are talking to someone who goes to a LOT of concerts and who has lots of mates that do. So no point in trying to tell me £100 or more is a common price, because it isn't. The majority of bands and artists will be less than half of that. Some even a third.

I wish I could have got Take That tickets for only £38! I also go to QUITE A LOT of concerts and have friends that go to more than me so I have a good idea how much tickets cost.


Either you don't live in London or you are happy with crap seats. The cheapest seats in the O2, although not usually that cheap, are so high up it is practically pointless being there.


I know I would go to more concerts if tickets were a reasonable price and I have had conversations with my sister and friends about the price of tickets restricting the amount of concerts we go to.


I would be in heaven if tickets were as cheap as you say they are

ellesbellesxxx

Your friend must feel really cr**py as it is - you said yourself as soon as she realised, she texted to apologise. However, even if you she originally had kept the date free, as soon as the wedding invite came she was always surely going to have to go to the wedding? It sounds like it came after you organised tickets, they only have to come 2-3 months before a wedding. One of my best friends had edited a book and the book release party was the same day as my wedding. When she realised, I said well it's only 3 miles away, why don't you go at this point in the day... she straight away said "no way! it's your wedding!" People do prioritise weddings, especially if it's a close relative.

I agree with posters who have made the point that it is a gift that has unfortunately turned out to be unsuitable - your gift to her was her ticket AND yours as you would have gone too. As other posters have said, some presents are unfortunately unsuitable, it's the way the cookie crumbles.

Everybody here has made excellent points that you can just resell them and then your friend doesn't have to pay money back and you continue to resent your friend and insist that she needs to pay for your ticket...even though she never asked for these expensive tickets, you said yourself you have bought top of the range ones, not just normal ones - she might have been happy with the 30 pound (or whatever they are!) ticket option had she chosen to go...WHICH SHE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don't you at least find out what the tickets are going for online?

fierystormcloud

catkins wrote: »

I wish I could have got Take That tickets for only £38! I also go to QUITE A LOT of concerts and have friends that go to more than me so I have a good idea how much tickets cost.


Either you don't live in London or you are happy with crap seats. The cheapest seats in the O2, although not usually that cheap, are so high up it is practically pointless being there.


I know I would go to more concerts if tickets were a reasonable price and I have had conversations with my sister and friends about the price of tickets restricting the amount of concerts we go to.


I would be in heaven if tickets were as cheap as you say they are

Quit trying to make out that you're right and I'm wrong.

I know what I know, and I KNOW that the average ticket price for a concert is NOT £100. You must think you're talking to someone who was born yesterday. I have been to over 30 concerts in the last few years, and they have NOT been 'crap seats!' Many have been less than £40, and have been in front third of the stadium, sometimes near the front.

Yes I ACKNOWLEDGE that SOME stars and SOME tickets cost into 3 figures, and that SOME seats cost more. I am not disputing that.

What I was saying is that there is no WAY that the average ticket price for a concert/singer/band is a £100 like YOU were implying.

In your first post regarding this, you never mentioned anything about it being seat dependent, and you added that further down to try and prove yourself right.

Quit moving the goalposts Catkins. I am not wrong. I KNOW what I have paid for tickets for the 30-odd concerts I have been to over the last few years, and it has NOT been £100, nowhere near. If your experience is different, then I feel sorry for you, because you're being ripped off.

I have no more to say on this and am not discussing it any further with you, because although I acknowledge that I am not always right about things, I know I am right regarding this.

Pollycat

It doesn't matter who has paid what for tickets to whatever concerts!

The OP says she has paid almost £100 per ticket.
We have no idea what artist/group the tickets are for because the OP refuses to say.

What one poster says they have paid and what another poster says they have paid for probably totally dissimilar events is totally irrelevant to the 'dilemma' posted by the OP.

FWIW, I think the more posters who say she is wrong, the further entrenched in her decision to recoup the tickets money she becomes.

Laconic

I'm hoping that you've slept on it and have woken up this morning with a different thought. As far as punishment goes, realising that she's missed out on seeing a band she really, really wanted to see owing to her getting dates wrong is real punishment -- it's painful, embarrassing and will probably effect change (e.g. sort out *one* diary system).
You're looking instead at sharing your pain -- I've sufferd so you must too. With everyone else, I urge you to not act on it. People who culture that attitude destroy friendships, families and even lives. You don't want to be that person.

gingercordial

I can see why the OP is hurt about her friend's mistake on the dates. That does not translate to "she must pay me back".

OP was willing to pay £200 (cost of both tickets) to give her friend a birthday treat. The cost of her friend's present was therefore £200. That is what she has spent on an unwanted present and that is therefore what she must have been willing to "lose" in the sense that had her friend been able to go that is what the night would have cost and she'd have paid it happily.

I have often given people tickets to gigs for presents, and I always give a pair because it is nicer that way, and I offer that if they want me to go with them I will. Last time I gave my dad a pair of concert tickets, I said that he could take my mum if she wanted to go - in the end she didn't so I went instead. Or he could have taken a friend or some random guy off the street or nobody at all, as it was his "plus one" to do as he saw fit. In either case THE PAIR was my dad's present, and whether that gave me or my mum or whoever some benefit as an extra was irrelevant. If he hadn't been able to go, I would have helped try to exchange or sell them, of course.

OP was happy to spend £200 and it is just as if she'd spent £200 on a handbag which the friend didn't much like. Her attendance at the concert is irrelevant.

Gigervamp

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

I'm not resistant to selling.

The last I heard from her, she said she will ask her friends to go in her place. I don't want to list them on any website until she gets back to me. What I don't want to happen is for me to sell them and she comes back to me with someone who wants to go. Yes it's better to oversell than undersell though.

Don't wait for her to get back to you, contact her and tell her you're going to sell them.

kerri_gt

chelseablue wrote: »

U2 are doing a few dates at the O2 in October, might be them.
Although I'm not sure if they've ever disbanded?

if only they would....

Woolwich_Kim wrote: »

That isn't true as in my first post I mentioned I felt she should pay both tickets.

But after reading all replies (all, not just ones that are sympathetic to my point of view) I realise and agree she shouldn't pay for her own ticket as that is my gift to her and it'll be like any other useless/unwanted gift. I just think she should pay for mine even though its same thing.

I think this is the best way forward as I think this is the way to salvage our friendship. If she doesn't pay for half then I will resent her and hold a grudge. If she paid me 100% then she would resent me and hold a grudge so 50/50 is probably the fairest way.

I still really can't understand why you think she should pay 50%. Yes you're annoyed, yes she has made a mistake but these things can / do happen in friendships or any kind of relationship at times.

just call the ticket agent and see if you can get the tickets delivered = 1 phone call
list the tickets on a ticket selling site = 1 listing
sell tickets = sorted.

don't wait for your friend to come back to you about whether she can get someone else to go - just tell her you are going to list them. IF she finds someone who wants them you can always pull the listing if the tickets haven't yet sold.

Stop stewing over it, it's happened. If you value your friendship (whatever the dynamics) move on from this, if you don't want to be friends any more then don't be - simple.

You're both adults, you don't owe anyone a friendship be friends if you want, if not, don't be a martyr about it.