Did you plan your wedding before you got engaged?

amistupid

Thankfully, like me, the OH was not the slightest bit bothered about wedding plans, ours could have been written on the back of a postage stamp, and cost next to nothing.

I find it ridiculous that when money is tight so many people waste it on a one day show piece.

heartbreak_star

I do oooh and aaah over sites like Offbeat Bride, and pretty rings on Etsy...but that's as far as it goes

HBS x

pollypenny

Birdie85 wrote: »

An ex-friend of mine picked out her engagement ring then told her OH that he had to plan a proposal within the next few weeks so he had to cook her a nice meal, buy champagne, give a lovely speech about how much he loved he whilst proposing but it just seems like a really fake way to do it... why couldn't they have just been happy to have their 'proposal story' of 'We were out shopping and saw the perfect ring and decided there and then to get married.' That's what happened with my DH and I and I don't wish that I'd had a more elaborate proposal, it was a genuine moment of knowing that we wanted to be together forever.

Funnily enough, the ex-friend's marriage only lasted 18 months, seems you can fake a romantic engagement and an OTT wedding, but you can't fake a happy marriage!

Nice one. :T

And I was chastised on the thread about being £2,500 short for wedding expenses for saying too many bridezillas and weddings getting fancier.

AubreyMac

I am not in a relationship but have thought about my wedding in my mind, sort of.

I have been engaged before and even just getting engaged caused a lot of hassle.

I'm not from a close knit family but do have parents of a different culture. They have their traditions and customs and as such, have expectations of their children and future in laws.

In my mind I'd always thought that if I were to marry, I'd do a quick one in Vegas where it's just me, groom and minimal amount of witnesses required.

For some, including me, wouldn't be able to have a 'traditional' wedding without causing upset to a lot of people. So it is easier to do it abroad with almost nobody there.

My cousin had a big wedding, just to please her hubby and her in laws. It was the most stressful day of her life and she really did not enjoy putting on a show at all. 90% of the attendees she did not know and said it felt very fake and pretentious. Although she had the fairytale wedding (costing nearly £60K!) she would have rather had a quick simple one.

Caroline_a

It seems to me that weddings these days are becoming more and more like Hollywood blockbusters - money being spent on unnecessary things that barely anyone notices, couples putting themselves into huge amounts of debt, and don't get me started on those daft choreographed wedding dances.

It's one day. One day, people. The amount it costs appears to be inversely proportional to how long the wedding lasts. At some point there will be a drawing in of skirts when people realise just how much money is being wasted on this industry.

I really wouldn't have wanted to start married life with that level of spending - how on earth do you live life normally after that?

(sorry, soapbox)

Mrshaworth2b

We talked about us being a "forever" couple when we got back together after a year and half apart. We went and found a ring together with the idea that he would decide when he wanted to propose. He did so after we had been together 6 months on holiday. We never spoke about a wedding because we had so many other things that we wanted to do before.

We started talking about getting married a year ago, 3 n bit years into our relationship, January this year I said come on let's just do it in June and he agreed. I found out I was pregnant in March so was 20+ weeks at the wedding but in terms of the right time our wedding so was. I doubt we'll have the money to have even our small wedding for a few years now we're having number 2.

I was never one of them girls who knew what dress she wanted or what the wedding would look like. I had never even thought about it until I met my husband.

Gloomendoom

Caroline_a wrote: »

It seems to me that weddings these days are becoming more and more like Hollywood blockbusters - money being spent on unnecessary things that barely anyone notices, couples putting themselves into huge amounts of debt, and don't get me started on those daft choreographed wedding dances.

It's one day. One day, people. The amount it costs appears to be inversely proportional to how long the wedding lasts. At some point there will be a drawing in of skirts when people realise just how much money is being wasted on this industry.

I really wouldn't have wanted to start married life with that level of spending - how on earth do you live life normally after that?

(sorry, soapbox)

While I broadly agree with the sentiment, I would be interested to see if there really is any correlation between the cost of a wedding and how long the subsequent marriage lasts.

Patchwork_Girl

Another girl here who has never worried about any of this - let alone planned it! And I'm completely baffled by the women who get stressed because 'he won't propose'. It's not a Disney film and he's not a mind reader - if you want to get married then just ask!

Birdie85

Caroline_a wrote: »

It seems to me that weddings these days are becoming more and more like Hollywood blockbusters - money being spent on unnecessary things that barely anyone notices, couples putting themselves into huge amounts of debt, and don't get me started on those daft choreographed wedding dances.

It's one day. One day, people. The amount it costs appears to be inversely proportional to how long the wedding lasts. At some point there will be a drawing in of skirts when people realise just how much money is being wasted on this industry.

I really wouldn't have wanted to start married life with that level of spending - how on earth do you live life normally after that?

(sorry, soapbox)

Gloomendoom wrote: »

While I broadly agree with the sentiment, I would be interested to see if there really is any correlation between the cost of a wedding and how long the subsequent marriage lasts.

I've got 3 friends who were divorced within 2 years of being married, all 3 had pretty big, expensive weddings so DH and I did the maths and figured out that if you broke down the cost of their weddings into how many months the marriage lasted it came to £1660, £1300 and a whopping £3300 a month! That doesn't seem like very good value for money! :eek:

Caroline_a

Gloomendoom wrote: »

While I broadly agree with the sentiment, I would be interested to see if there really is any correlation between the cost of a wedding and how long the subsequent marriage lasts.

Exactly... apologies, babbling from my sickbed