Did you plan your wedding before you got engaged?

lulu_92

OH and I kind of discuss things, but this is probably because my sister is getting married to his best friend in 6 months so some of the conversation between us is "they're having XYZ, I would/wouldn't choose to have that"

I have a Pinterest board with some wedding stuff on it. OH is aware of it (in fact some of it was his idea, he likes to get ahead of the game...although he hasn't yet proposed! :rotfl:) but again it's mainly to help my sister and one of my other friends who is getting married next year.

elsien

That whole "we're planning to get engaged next year" thing always baffles me. Why plan to get engaged? If you want to, then just do it.
Then again I am equally baffled by the women (my ex-sil) who are completely hung up for months on end as to whether he's going to propose. Again, if you feel that strongly, ask him yourself.
I've never planned my wedding or dreamed about what sort of dress I might have. ( Being asked to be a bridesmaid brought me out in hives at the thought of what I might be crammed into.)

Birdie85

An ex-friend of mine picked out her engagement ring then told her OH that he had to plan a proposal within the next few weeks so he had to cook her a nice meal, buy champagne, give a lovely speech about how much he loved he whilst proposing but it just seems like a really fake way to do it... why couldn't they have just been happy to have their 'proposal story' of 'We were out shopping and saw the perfect ring and decided there and then to get married.' That's what happened with my DH and I and I don't wish that I'd had a more elaborate proposal, it was a genuine moment of knowing that we wanted to be together forever.

Funnily enough, the ex-friend's marriage only lasted 18 months, seems you can fake a romantic engagement and an OTT wedding, but you can't fake a happy marriage!

Georgiegirl256

dirty_magic wrote: »

Most of them have said that their OH has put a time frame on it; next year after we've bought the house etc. If you know they're going to do it aren't you technically engaged?
o

dirty_magic wrote: »

In fairness to the girls I mentioned they did it because they knew he would propose at some point, so they just saw it as a head start.!

The above is always what I find really strange indeed. It comes across to me as the man not wanting to get married, but not wanting to lose the girlfriend either. So, he pacifies her by giving her a timescale "we'll get engaged in a years time, after we've done A, B and C", and then a year comes and goes, and another promise is made....it's the equivalent of dangling a carrot for a donkey. Why not just get engaged if that's what you both want?

TBagpuss

tizerbelle wrote: »

Sorry but it's certainly not every other girl. I have never planned/dreamed/thought about ideas for "my" wedding and I'm mid-forties now. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule but I very much doubt it's just me.

It's not. I'm the same. The closest I've come has been when atending a wedding and thinking "that's nice" or "Why would they / anyone want *that*!"

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

The above is always what I find really strange indeed. It comes across to me as the man not wanting to get married, but not wanting to lose the girlfriend either. So, he pacifies her by giving her a timescale "we'll get engaged in a years time, after we've done A, B and C", and then a year comes and goes, and another promise is made....it's the equivalent of dangling a carrot for a donkey. Why not just get engaged if that's what you both want?

Definitely agree with this. I get told it's "the five year plan" for us. It does annoy me as we're trying to start a family, but anyone who knows my OH can tell you that him wanting to have a child with me is the biggest commitment he's ever made to anyone. We will get engaged one day, until then I just casually point out what I like and don't like in a ring...;);)

Gloomendoom

elsien wrote: »

That whole "we're planning to get engaged next year" thing always baffles me. Why plan to get engaged? If you want to, then just do it.

And me.

It takes less than a minute... although it took me nearly two weeks to manoeuvre Mrs G in the spot where I wanted to propose. That did involve forward planning on my part.

andygb

We were engaged for two years, and then started to arrange things about three or four months before the wedding, starting with the church and priest.
I have seen first hand what happens when people start to organise these "super weddings" two years before, with the "bridezilla" falling out with everyone, in laws bickering, all the stress building up, so that everyone just wants to get the big day over and done with.
Why not leave everything and then make the most of the day itself.

vroombroom

OH bought me an engagement ring for my 30th two years ago - no surprise proposal or anything. He asked me what I wanted, I told him and we went and bought it lol.

We booked in for Oct this year (in Feb) and it's going to be low cost and low key - ceremony in hotel then meal afterwards with immediate family, there will be 14 of us altogether.

I can see how easy it is to get bridezilla over things but I joined a wedding forum and read threads about girls crying over matching table cloths and chair sashes and just thought !!!!!! - definitely not for me !

Torry_Quine

Spider_In_The_Bath wrote: »

We arranged ours in six weeks. We went to make a booking at the Register Office and they mentioned that they had a free slot in six weeks time. As we only wanted a small wedding (21 of us in total at the event) we though why not and booked the day. It was then a bit of a mad rush to arrange everything, but it all worked out fine.


We never got engaged either.

Of course you were engaged! When you decided you were getting married that means you were engaged.

monicataylor wrote: »

I don’t know whether it is considered as planning . But like every other girl i always had some basic ideas about what i wanted for my wedding.I always wanted to get married in a banquet hall with beautiful Victorian decor.Last summer my friend got married in Le jardin chateau. It looked exactly like the place i wanted to get married. So i enquired the rent for banquet hall in Vaughan. One month later he proposed and we have booked same place.

Not every other girl. I always hoped that I would meet someone that I would marry but had no thoughts as to what the wedding would be like.