Husband doesn't find me attractive!

Pollycat

Marieboo2 wrote: »

If I were to talk to him like this, he could easily lose weight , he's in the high 20s stone wise. But I accept he's not ready to do that and so I would never put him down.
Just a pity the same respect can't be shown to me really.

And there we have it.

Unless he's 8 foot tall, he's grossly overweight and wants to keep you the same way to make him feel better.

Marieboo2
I would sit down and read through what you have written about this man, how he has treated/is treating you, the things he's said to you and seriously consider if it is worth putting up with it.

gabriel1980

I wouldn't go as far as the doom-mongers in here being in an abusive relationship, but he is being unsupportive. Maybe he doesn't find you attractive full-stop, maybe he prefers larger ladies.

fairy_lights

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I wouldn't go as far as the doom-mongers in here being in an abusive relationship, but he is being unsupportive. Maybe he doesn't find you attractive full-stop, maybe he prefers larger ladies.

You wouldn't? If being told by your husband to kill yourself isn't a sign of an abusive relationship then I don't know what is.

Pollycat

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I wouldn't go as far as the doom-mongers in here being in an abusive relationship, but he is being unsupportive. Maybe he doesn't find you attractive full-stop, maybe he prefers larger ladies.

Doom-mongers?

Marieboo2 wrote: »

I have depression and at my worst he told me to kill myself because my depression was making him feel bad

Marieboo2 wrote: »

Then he told me I look so awful that I have "run out of my uses" it's depressing.

If the above isn't indicative of an abusive relationship, I don't know what is.
Abuse doesn't have to be physical, you know.

Pollycat

fairy lights
Snap! :T

Peter333

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I wouldn't go as far as the doom-mongers in here being in an abusive relationship, but he is being unsupportive. Maybe he doesn't find you attractive full-stop, maybe he prefers larger ladies.

How can you POSSIBLY say this?

Look at the things the OP has written...

Marieboo2 wrote: »

Most of my friends have gone now tbh. He seems to be allowed lots of friends, mainly female I have to admit but it's got to the point going out is too much hassle. I went out for a bike ride and he accused me of meeting someone? I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

One minute he thinks I'm looking for his replacement, the next he tells me no one would want me, I'm mad or crazy (I have depression and at my worst he told me to kill myself because my depression was making him feel bad)

I understand writing all this down it seems he's just a prize a hole. But he has a way of making me feel I would be lost without him. It's very strange.

Marieboo2 wrote: »

I have told him that if nothing else it's for my health, I was getting out of breath going up stairs, couldn't play football with my son. But he thinks it's to attract other men. Tbh couldn't be further from the truth.

I do feel more confident but his constant nagging is starting to eat into that. He brought home McDonald's food last night, when I wouldn't eat any he said I was being ridiculous and went to bed in a mood.

Then he told me I look so awful that I have "run out of my uses" it's depressing.

If I were to talk to him like this, he could easily lose weight , he's in the high 20s stone wise. But I accept he's not ready to do that and so I would never put him down.

Just a pity the same respect can't be shown to me really.

Marieboo2 wrote: »

His answer to it all is for me to put the weight back on, I looked better then (how I have no idea) but any attempt to look better is met with mocking remarks, what are you wearing? Look how bad your stomach looks now. It's just tiring.

The thing is he doesn't find fat women attractive, the many profiles he looks at on Facebook or the woman he discusses with his friends (who also made fun of me when I was bigger) are all thin ladies. So I thought my losing weight would make him happy. It's had the opposite affect.

It might seem like a silly thing to argue over but I honestly think if this continues we will end up divorced. I have told him this and he says oh well you can find another man then can't you.
I'm bored of it all frankly.

This is a dreadful relationship, imo the OP's husband doesn't love her or even care about her, he is jealous, bitter, threatened by the thought of her having other men attracted to her, he wants to keep her down, he wants to keep her low, and she needs to get
out.

He mocks her, he tells her to kill herself because he has had enough of her depression, he insults her, he says she has outlived her usefulness. He sounds vile.

She came on here for advice, she is getting it. Leave. NOW.

Angry_Bear

Peter333 wrote: »

How can you POSSIBLY say this?

Suggest you have a look at Gabriel1980's posting history.
How to troll 101 - best to ignore.

gabriel1980

we're only hearing one side of the argument here.

Pollycat

gabriel1980 wrote: »

we're only hearing one side of the argument here.

Of course we are.

That's no different to any of the threads started on here.

All we can do is comment/advise on what the OP says.

fairy_lights

gabriel1980 wrote: »

we're only hearing one side of the argument here.

oh geez, there's a time and a place for your trolling and this thread is not it.