Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

AspiringButAnxious

I PMed RC and thought I should mention that if anyone has questions about my writing or writing services in general, please feel free to PM me. I'd rather not put stuff like my name and website in this thread, but don't mind sharing via PM — people who know me or my writing style can figure out who I am anyway, so anonymity isn't a huge concern.

Still haven't been paid, so I'm not doing CV work atm. It wouldn't be so bad if I had been paid in the past, so knew it was late but forthcoming. At this point, I have done a total of £346 of work and don't want to risk losing more if it turns out I never get my payment. In theiry, I am using this time to research and work on building my copywriting business — in reality, I am wasting loads of time worrying and getting more stressed by the day.

I'm terrified. I know I have to find a way to start earning money from freelance writing and related services, but I don't know how. I need to create a marketing strategy: that's my first step. Then I need to follow the plan. Just hope it works out.

Everything seems such a mess. I tried to plan for my transition from esa to self-employment, but so much has gone wrong. The CV place office manager assures me that they do pay their writers but they are having cashflow problems, but it feels like I have fallen for a scam. Despite doing everything "right" and researching the company beforehand. I feel cheated by my WL advisor, because she pressured me to stop claiming esa before I received my first CV payment. I feel betrayed by my mum for stressing about what I owe her and being pessimistic. I feel let down by everyone and I hate feeling like this — I refuse to be a victim — but it's easier said than done.

Trouble is, the more stressed I get, the harder it is to take action.

chanie

I am angry for you, if the CV company don't pay you. Its totally outrageous if they don't. In saying that, there are plenty of scammers out there and I think many people have been caught one way or another.

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks Chanie I'm very relieved to say I GOT PAID! :j :j

It's ridiculous to feel so happy that I got paid 17 days late, but I'm just glad I haven't been scammed. Like I said, getting paid late is annoying but now I can take orders without worrying that I won't see any payment.

I will continue to try to build the copywriting side of my business, but it's great to have the CV work as a safety net. It also means I can pay more attention to my fiction and articles, rather than obsessing over whether I can get copywriting clients. I still need to work out a marketing plan and implement it, but it's less urgent and I can think more clearly now I'm less stressed.

I paid for my Open University photography course this morning, which felt GOOD. It's so important to have something to focus on for the autumn/winter, when my mood dips and I'm more vulnerable to depression. That's why I prioritised it over paying my parents back quicker — knowing I have these strategies in place helps me to stay in control of my mental health as much as possible.

My parents have gone to Wales for an extra-long weekend (went Friday, coming back tomorrow), so I had my 3 best friends stay over on Friday and Saturday nights. It was awesome! One of them lives in London, so I don't get to see her very often. Now I'm working, I should be able to visit her more often, too. The only drawback of my parents being away is that my dad's dog woke me up at 3:30am wanting to go out... Not great at any time, but I didn't get a lot of sleep over the weekend, so it was especially annoying.

Redeemed a £10 Amazon voucher this morning, which I have spent on ebooks! Got LOTS of reading to do

Feeling nervous and excited about my short story course next week. Will be great to focus on short stories without too many distractions — hopefully I will be able to write some good ones for all the competition deadlines coming up at the end of this month!

chanie

I'm so pleased for you - I was concerned it may have been a scam.


You seem so much more positive - onwards and upwards for you!!!

doingitanyway

Just dropping in to say well done. You have been doing brilliantly recently. So glad you got paid. Good luck with the short story competition

crazy_cat_lady

Ah ABA I am so pleased that you finally got paid. Happy days :j
You sound really good at the moment - long may it last xxx

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks guys I have more good news — I got the Devon Prize in the short story comp (for best story by a writer living in Devon — other than anyone who placed 1st-3rd, presumably), which comes with a £100 cheque! It will also be great to put on my CV/LinkedIn profile/website :j

Amazing how much difference a day makes My jaw is still tense and I have had indigestion all day, but the stress should be easing now!

In other news, I found the perfect birthday present for my friend — a steampunk pocket watch — for a great price and free delivery. Added a novelty monocle, to complete the look! She got into steampunk over the past couple of years and mentioned it a lot over the weekend, but no mention of either monocle or pocket watch, so hopefully she doesn't have them already. Just hope it arrives in time — the last day of the delivery estimate is 4 days after I want to give it to her, when we go out for birthday drinks.

My own birthday is on Friday, but I doubt it could be better than today!

reality_check

Congratulations on the competition and for finding your friend the perfect gift! You should put a lottery ticket on with all your good luck and positive feelings! xx

crazy_cat_lady

Congratulations! :j Fantastic news, and hopefully a real confidence boost as well :D:D

chanie

Congratulations on winning the prize, that's amazing news.