Do Grandparents Treat Your Children Differently

firebird082

consultant31 wrote: »

The trouble now seems to be that young couples want everything at once - they're not prepared to wait until they can more easily afford it and so going back to work for the Mum is a necessity.... made easy by compliant grandparents.

I'm not sure it's the wanting so much - my OH and I are getting married next year and I expect that children will follow, but we don't exactly have the luxury of waiting, given I will then be 34! We didn't meet until we were over 30, so our money situation, whilst not too bad, will still not allow me to be a SAHM. But then neither of the grandparents live close enough to babysit, so compliant grandparents aren't even in the frame!

consultant31

firebird082 wrote: »

I'm not sure it's the wanting so much - my OH and I are getting married next year and I expect that children will follow, but we don't exactly have the luxury of waiting, given I will then be 34! We didn't meet until we were over 30, so our money situation, whilst not too bad, will still not allow me to be a SAHM. But then neither of the grandparents live close enough to babysit, so compliant grandparents aren't even in the frame!

I guess, I was generalising a bit - I do know that it's not always as easy as it sounded!

Unfortunately if you do 'have' to work, you end up paying most of your wages out for childcare.....something I can't bear my daughters to have to do, so I end up picking up the slack a little more often than I'm comfortable with, especially as the littlest ones are now VERY mobile while I'm not so much

vroombroom

Yes my inlaws love their eldest grandkids more. It's shockingly embarrassing.

My sis in law and the kids have recently moved in with them. She pays no rent and has free childcare on tap. They haven't seen my son since May (despite trying to make arrangements).

Sarahdol75

I have 2 children, both boys 12 and 15.

My eldest was the first grandchild in the family.

My 2 brothers both have 2 children each and my sister has 2 children.

My parents, have my brothers and my sisters children on a daily basis, as they live within walking distance. I live about 20 minutes away, which I love, because no one in my family drives, apart from my stepdad, so they dont come visit very often or just drop in daily, like my brothers do to my parents.

When I speak to my mum, she is forever moaning about having the grandkids and being put on, which my brothers do, do a lot, but she doesnt moan to them about it just me.

My parents have had my 2 children about a handful of times, and only ever once overnight. I have always been independent and never ask for anything, but they never ever offer to have mine but are always having my brothers and sisters children, which drive me mad.

My children have got used to not going, and never ask any more.

I used to get really fed up about my children getting left out, but I cant be done with it anymore.

I feel like they are the ones missing out their loss.

Sarahdol75

And as for my OH's parents, they are just as bad, never see any of the grandchildren, and one was born in December, and they have probably seen it twice.

maman

My brother has one grandson that he and SIL are totally besotted with. They have him to stay one night a week and a full day. It stops them doing other things but they love it so much they're happy.


He's already telling me that he can't imagine either doing the same level of childcare or the same level of 'besotedness' over any further grandchildren that might be born in the future from his other children.


I must admit I had similar treatment as a child as I was both the eldest and a longed for girl as my father was an only child.