Why Won’t You Marry Me.?

littleowl

Simon,
Having ploughed through this, and the alternative thread, I would like to say that money - wealth - whatever -seems to be your over-riding concern. There are people to whom this is not the beginning and end of living a good life. To whom, in fact, it is not terribly important.
While I might agree that, to your friend this does seem to be important, what is more striking is that, to you , it appears to be THE most important aspect of this relationship.

Frankly, my dear, if I was the lady in your life I would be disappearing over the horizon very fast indeed.

D4WNO

I'll be completely honest. Money or no money, marriage is just a piece of paper and if she loved you, it reeeeeeeeeally wouldn't matter!

Also you have mentioned that you are not "madly in love" with her, personally I would never marry someone I even had the slightest doubt about and that fact you are asking for advise on your doubts on a public forum speaks reams to me. I think you already know your answer but I really feel for you in your situation.

Don't be bullied into marriage if it's not what you want. You have worked very hard for that money so enjoy it and spend it on what YOU want, not what others want it to be spent on.

larmy16

The Oldtrout is absolutely spot on about the nookie comment.

beard0609

The fact that you are having to ask whether you should marry someone gives you the answer it's self... If you loved the woman enough then you would not be asking advice...

Walk away and find someone who is in love with you not your bank balance...

aussiesbird

I agree with beard0609. If she really loves you for you and not your money then she will be back and settle for a relationship without marriage. And who knows after a few years you may decide that she has proved her love is sincere and you want to marry her. But at the moment I think you would regret the decision. Ulitmatley though only you can answer this question. Good luck in whatever you choose.

simon-dupree

Our emotional healthiness was being distorted by my aparent financial healthiness!!

Simon

aussiesbird

simon-dupree wrote: »

Our emotional healthiness was being distorted by my aparent financial healthiness!!

Simon

All the best for the future.;)

scat

How complicated having money, and the prospect of losing money, makes life. Thankfully it's never been an issue for me - as I don't have any and neither does my partner!

My solution? give all your money away and then ask her to marry you. If she's after your money she'll say no.

y9jcbcrb

Its a tricky situation and one i dont evny at all! You need to establish a real reason as to why she wants to marry you. It could be becasue she loves you or she wants the stablility or perhaps it is your money but i think you need to get it clear in your mind what you are dealing with.

I tend to think that if she does genuinely love you she wouldnt give you so much pressure and certainly not an ultimatum. You obviously dont feel the need for marriage in your current situation and that should be fine with her.

frannyann

simon, sorry to hear you're problems but I tend to agree with some of the others. I read it as tho she is seeing marriage to you as securing her future but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you but more that she may feel that a relationship should end in marriage and an equal share of each others assets. For us women it can be a scary thought being that old lady with only our cats for company and maybe she, like some of us, can sense your reluctance. If you can't give her 100% be fair to her and let her go find the husband and cosy old age she is imagining!