Why Won’t You Marry Me.?

candygirl

Don't do it!!!!she sounds like a gold digger:eek: :eek: :eek:

mae

No I don't agree with some of these comments. How can people say she is a gold digger just for wanting to be married to him??

I can see both points, you have been stung before as in your marriage ended and I prseume you thought it was for life and now that is what makes you doubt marriage being forever. And I can see her point too maybe it would make her feel more secure emotionally wise, maybe she doubts your feelings for her or maybe she just believes in marriage.

How about meeting in the middle? Would you have a pre nup??

newmum1

Mae, pre-nups arent legal though are they??

rob_blackice

In my opinion you've spun your account of the situation in such a way as to encourage people to respond with a negative view towards your current partner.

mae

newmum1 wrote: »

Mae, pre-nups arent legal though are they??

Really? Shows what I know. I thought there was a way to protect money you had before a marriage?? You read all the time that famous people who are obviously rich have done pre nups to protect their pre marriage assets??

simon-dupree

I take on board that there may be as you say spin on my question as to induce negative response,sorry about that I didn't knowingly do it on purpose and it is probably due to the negative feelings I am getting regarding this union hence my question to find out if I am viewing it incorrectly.

Further evidence that may have put negative spin on it that I didn't mention initially but will now is as follows.


I remember asking her what she would want from me if we did join finances ,at the time there was talk (and it was just talk) of my some of my properties being turned into a shopping arcade and the possibility of it being worth millions . She said I would like half the profit on any development but she did add that she would be advising me on the deal (she knows little if anything regarding property dealing).I have owned that property for thirty years and now if the development was to go ahead my new partner wanted half the profit on the deal.


Similarly when we were in California and we had had a lovely three months winter break,she said work wont pay for my time on holiday for this long next time.I said ok I will pick up the bill for your half of the holiday next time.She said I would feel that would be charity, cant we get married instead then your money would be my money and I wouldn't feel bad about taking it.

Thanks for the interesting responses

Yorkshire-Lady_3

Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

liney

Pre nups are legal in america, not the UK, hence the rich and famous are generally in the states.

You could move to the states and have a pre nup - suggest it and see whether she still wants to marry you !

Honey i have thought long and hard about the situation, and i knowing that it is most important to you that we marry, and that you dont want me for my money, so i have decided i would love to live in sunny California and i know a great lawyer for pre nups.... Can i be a fly on the wall? lol

3plus1

It may have been wrong of her to issue you with an ultimatum, but often an ultimatum is the last action of a desperate woman who can't get the other party to see her point. So wrong, but understandable.

I may not be religious, but I still see marriage as the ultimate romantic gesture that binds you to the other person for the rest of your life. Obviously, having been divorced, your view is different from mine.

To me, the real issue here is not that you are rich and she is only moderately well off - the issue is that you are not madly in love with her. Marriage is such a big step, and I don't think you should even consider it if you are not head over heels.

Unfortunately, I think this relevation may hurt your partner far more than your paranoia about your assets.

If she wants to get married, she obviously loves you, but if you don't love her - can that be fixed?

Could you agree with your partner that you are not ready for marriage now, but that you will sit down and talk about the issue in, say, a year? And reassess the situation then?

It may be that she just needs you to show that you are prepared to marry her at some point, not that she wants a ring on her finger immediately. If you rule out ever remarrying, you might lose her forever. Bear that in mind.

Lady_E

Sorry Simon but I feel that this lady is using a bit of emotional blackmail. Everything seems to be geared up to what she needs (eg doing up her house, sorting out holidays etc) and I am conscious that she does not appear to be offering anything in return. I think if you do say to her ," listen I have thought long and hard and I dont feel I can marry you", she will not put up much of a fight . She sees her days are numbered and to be honest if she truly loved you she would fight for you instead of issuing ultamatiums(sp?).

Dont worry about being lonely , you wont be ,and plenty of women would prefer not to get hitched, but instead have a man who truly loves them and respects them.

I wish you the best of luck.