How to split our mortgage payments fairly

class2ldn

Well around 250 is definitely doable, we've been to 3 brokers now.

Jon_B_2

Here's an idea and it's what we do. I earn 40k and my better half earns £22k: -

We have 3 current accounts - mine, my wife's and our joint account.

On our respective pay days we transfer all of our salaries minus £300 - that is our disposable income.

I end up contributing about £1700 to the household budget and my wife about £900. But our savings come out of our join account. Essentially we both feel the equivalent "pain". We have our own disposable income, I don't ask her what she spends it on and vice versa. If one of us runs out, then tough.

The key thing is that in my mind you go into marriage and home ownership as equals. I earn more, but my wife only works 3 days a week to look after our daughter. If I ever equated the strength of our relationship on financial commitment i'd be mad.

class2ldn

So out of that 300 I take it that doesn't include things like phone bills etc?

Jon_B_2

Our individual mobile bills and that's it.

Red-Squirrel_2

class2ldn wrote: »

But our personal loans etc are not taken into account. Surely it's fair to contribute equal amounts when paying for joint bills etc. I put in that money and then decide what I can afford after. She tends to do it the other way round and will contribute after her personal outgoings have gone.
I've no issues paying more money but what's the point of her being on the mortgage if I'm effectively paying 100% of it. She may be paying the bills but the house won't get repossessed if she doesn't will it?? Unlike the mortgage.
I can afford to pay 1200 and still have all my bills etc. If she can't afford to save the same % as me then surely she should be looking at cutting down her personal spending?

I think it would be a really good idea to show your partner this thread if you haven't already.

Pixie5740

class2ldn wrote: »

Sorry for the lack of replies.
I have discussed it with her and I told her I was worried that I'm putting more effort into this then she is.
She's quite understanding and wants to find a way we can both equally pay in without struggling each month.
Obviously il be paying more of the mortgage but if I paid the mortgage and she paid the bills it would work out like I said before about 1700 a month. If you consider my wages are around 2500 a month and hers about 1200 it leaves me with 12-1300 and her with 800 for spending,covering personal loans etc.
In regards to the car loan that's 261 it was a personal loan I had on a car which I sold but the term was over 5 years.
I then bought a bmw 330i this year on pcp which is why my insurance is high even though I'm 32 and 11 years ncb and an advanced driver. Also has tinted windows which although done by bmw was classed as a modification so thats bumped it up. Will come down in November.
I think in reality I'm maybe resenting what she has left over as she doesn't have the outgoings I do on loans and credit cards etc which is down to me as there my issues and not hers.
This is why I feel like I'm putting more into it when really we are probably paying a fair amount according to our wages.
With the difference in wages theres going to be a bigger gap then normal.
I guess most of what I have left over gets spent on paying off my personal debts and thats not her fault. She's got 1 car loan I've got 2, she's got a cheaper phone then me, she has 1 credit card which she pays off every month, I have 2500 on mine so guess it's my own fault I'm skint each month lol.
What would be the right amount we should be paying each then according to our wages?
Me 2500
Her 1200

Looking at it from her view point, I would be hesitant at throwing my lot in with someone who went out and bought an expensive car, on finance, probably with a substantial balloon payment due in a few years and high car insurance whilst continuing to pay for a perfectly usable car that has been sold. If you were serious about buying somewhere you wouldn't have done that. You are where you are though.

Tigsteroonie

class2ldn wrote: »

I just want her to prioritise the savings over her personal spending. I do so why can't she?

Because she is more of a "enjoy the moment" person, whereas you are a "save for the future" person? It still sounds to me like you have different personalities - if you want her to save, you've got to bring her round to your way of thinking.

goodwithsaving

I think it's evident from this thread that everyone has different ideas about what is fair, what is a "partnership" etc. That's ok but my advice would be explore all paths and do what works for YOU, not bear in mind every opinion on what's right or wrong. Nobody agrees with what how I treat finances in a relationship but it works for us. Talk to her, and move forward from there. Only you two know the actual answer.

Nobbie1967

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Because she is more of a "enjoy the moment" person, whereas you are a "save for the future" person? It still sounds to me like you have different personalities - if you want her to save, you've got to bring her round to your way of thinking.

I actually think they're pretty similar, it's just that she fritters away money on hair care and going out, whereas the OP fritters it away on cars and phones. The OP feels hard done by because money is tight, but that's because of his bad choices. If he wants to have money to fritter away as well then don't buy a house. At the moment you can't afford it and seem to be blaming your partner for this because she has the cheek to enjoy life.

getmore4less

(not read all the contributions so far so this may have been covered)

One stratagy is lowest common dom.

You put in equal amounts to the living together pot and the rest is your own.

You live somewhere that amount will support.

If you resent the OH spending and not putting in enough then you live down to what her contributions(doubled) will support.

If she or you want to live somewhat better then you have to up your contributions.

Salary are not that relevent if you are carrying baggage that is using it up for no mutual benifit.

If each of you has spare then you can subisdise the soft things like going out holidays etc as funds allow.