How to split our mortgage payments fairly

duchy

Does she ever use the car ?
Do you never eat food at home ?

I'm sure you think she squanders money on non essentials -but then you have a car loan so presumably bought a new or newer car rather than a cheap one .......You have a mobile phone contract that costs £60 ? If my partner spent that a month on a phone contract I'd think he had gone insane but we all have different essentials and just as you seem to assume your GF is squandering money yet your spending is reasonable -who is to say your assumption is correct ?

I'm wondering what she does pay for -seems like all food- which could be minimal or could be huge depending on what you both class as a normal shop, her own phone, sky tv, birthday gifts for both your families , TV licence ? - she could be paying a small proportion of her income or it could be a lot. I don't think you really know though at this point.

HappyMJ

class2ldn wrote: »

Well my car loan is 317 hers is 170.
Our phone bills are around the same.
Obviously petrol could be split really.
I guess just having one account is better as it's easier to manage.

Not living with a spendthrift it isn't. My ex-partner was a spendthrift if I let her loose with the joint account there'd be nothing left to buy food with in the 4th week of the month.

Pixie5740

class2ldn wrote: »

My outgoings are as follows.
330 pm child maintenance
317pm car loan
261 pm car loan dont ask it ends this year thank God
82 pm on car insurance
120pm on petrol
60 pm on phone
775 rent.
Plus expenses like food at work etc.
As you can see it's a big chunk out of my wages which is why after saving I'm not left with nowt.

Two car loans?! :eek:

Car insurance of £984 a year?! :eek:

£60 for a phone?! :eek:

Food at work instead of packed lunches?! :eek:

That's why you don't have much money left each month. You are hemorrhaging money right, left and center.

You're saving money (is this money for the deposit?) each month and I think that before entering into a mortgage with someone else you need to figure out her attitude to money. Does she spend all her spare money and save nothing? Worse still does she spend more than her income i.e. does she have loans and credit cards?

Then again maybe she doesn't pay as much for her phone, has lower car insurance and takes a packed lunch to work allowing her to spend more money on other things.

goodwithsaving

We're the same sort of split in salary. We do 50:50 but then I pay for things that need fixing, plumbers etc, or new fixtures and fittings etc which amounts to quite a lot.
I also keep the rainy day fund.
Some might think it all needs to be pooled but to be honest, I don't agree with that and would never pool my income. That said, if down the line when children are involved, it's different.
If the bills are paid, the rest of it is yours to do as you wish with (in my - controversial- opinion)

Dird

He's probably a youngish driver like me (coming up to 2 years NCB), my insurance is only a little bit lower with a 1.4 diesel
£60 phone contract is a joke though, £10 for me & I'd change to Virgin if their £6 Internet allowance wasn't so bad (or if Three got better phone signal; their Internet is great).

Isn't this thread a bit pointless if you're getting married? Won't she be guranteed 50% no matter how little she contributes if/once a divorce kicks in?

calydon

I earn more than my OH, so I put more into the 'bills' pot than he does each month.

We balance it out so that after the 'bills' money we are both left with the same amount of 'fun' money to do what we want with. Bills money includes food, household bills and car expenses (building up savings for new cars plus car maintenance/insurance etc)

Out of that 'fun' money, I sometimes choose to save some, whereas he might not - I don't begrudge him that, saving is more fun for me than it is for him!

Having the same amount for our own / 'fun' money means that we're left as equals - i.e. it's not like one of us is always the one who buys the drinks in a pub or something. It works well for us.

TBagpuss

Dird wrote: »

He's probably a youngish driver like me (coming up to 2 years NCB), my insurance is only a little bit lower with a 1.4 diesel
£60 phone contract is a joke though, £10 for me & I'd change to Virgin if their £6 Internet allowance wasn't so bad (or if Three got better phone signal; their Internet is great).

Isn't this thread a bit pointless if you're getting married? Won't she be guranteed 50% no matter how little she contributes if/once a divorce kicks in?

No. 50% is a starting point, not guaranteed.

And one way to significantly reduce the risk of a divorce is to have open discussions about issues such as finances, preferably before you get married or move in together. It is one of the strongest arguments for having a Pre-Nup, because if you agree to have a pre-nup you have to think about unromantic things like money, and you can work out whether you are both operating on the basis of the same assumptions and expectations about how things will work, and negotiate about what kind of arrangements will work for both of you, both during the relationship and in the unhappy event it breaks down. But if you can agree on how it will work when you are together you increase the chances of staying together, because you decrease or remove a major source of potential friction.

greensalad

Just had a similar discussion with my partner as we're looking to buy a house together in the next 2 years. We're not married. He earns more than me.

We discussed hat although we're not "married" we are a committed couple going through life together not alone. Although we keep our personal salaries to ourselves and pay in shares for bills and such, we're planning to move to paying our salaries into one pot and then taking a personal allowance out based on income (so I'll take out a certain amount as my own play-money and he'll take out a little more owing to him earning more).

It's a big decision, but if you're buying a house together I really do not consider you to need to be 'owing' each other all the time.

I would consider that the house is both of yours, you own equal share. You're a couple, a family. You should both pay the mortgage based on percentage of your income. You earn 72% of the household income, so you pay 72% of the mortgage.

An easier way to add it all up might be to have a joint household account that the mortgage comes out of. Add up your household bills, mortgage and food shopping. Whatever that total is, you pay 72% of.

That's personally how I see it as fair. If you're a committed couple what goes around comes around. If you lost your job, she'd support you etc.

Controversial but I would be tempted to say that even things like your child maintenance go into a mutual pot and then she would be helping towards that too, because you're a committed couple.

Cars are a little different, if you share the car and both agreed to buy that particular car on that finance plan, then she can pay her share. However if the car loan was before you were together/ entirely your own decision then it's a bit unfair because it's a ridiculous amount to spend (would be OK if it was reasonable).

dodger1

class2ldn wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.
No we are not married, got engaged on valentines day lol.
I don't begrudge her anything and I certainly don't think we should be paying equal as I earn double what she does a month.
My maintenance payments are from a previous relationship.
Thing is i dont have the money to spend on my own luxuries even like going to the cinema etc. She's seems to go out a lot and buy hair stuff etc like it's going of fashion. Just seems like she's not as committed as me on a financial level.
This came about as a colleague of mine has a partner who earns the same as mine and she's putting in 650-700 each month to boost their savings. I'm just wondering why my partner can't do the same sort of figure, well it's because she won't stop spending it lol.
Thing is i dont want to stop her going out etc as she works hard and deserves some down time I juat think if I can afford to put in 1200 each month then why can't she put in half of that when she's earning half. I take home 2400 amd she takes home 1200 roughly. She does have other costs like car insurance, car loan and petrol but these only total 350.
I don't know maybe I'm being too harsh as she probably doesn't have that much left over really.

I think we know why she doesn't have much left over. Look at number seven, I know you're not married but still relevant,

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/yourtango-experts/top-causes-divorce-expert

gazter

greensalad wrote: »

Just had a similar discussion with my partner as we're looking to buy a house together in the next 2 years. We're not married. He earns more than me.

We discussed hat although we're not "married" we are a committed couple going through life together not alone. Although we keep our personal salaries to ourselves and pay in shares for bills and such, we're planning to move to paying our salaries into one pot and then taking a personal allowance out based on income (so I'll take out a certain amount as my own play-money and he'll take out a little more owing to him earning more).

It's a big decision, but if you're buying a house together I really do not consider you to need to be 'owing' each other all the time.

I would consider that the house is both of yours, you own equal share. You're a couple, a family. You should both pay the mortgage based on percentage of your income. You earn 72% of the household income, so you pay 72% of the mortgage.

An easier way to add it all up might be to have a joint household account that the mortgage comes out of. Add up your household bills, mortgage and food shopping. Whatever that total is, you pay 72% of.

That's personally how I see it as fair. If you're a committed couple what goes around comes around. If you lost your job, she'd support you etc.

Controversial but I would be tempted to say that even things like your child maintenance go into a mutual pot and then she would be helping towards that too, because you're a committed couple.

Cars are a little different, if you share the car and both agreed to buy that particular car on that finance plan, then she can pay her share. However if the car loan was before you were together/ entirely your own decision then it's a bit unfair because it's a ridiculous amount to spend (would be OK if it was reasonable).

What she said.... You are becoming one household, you need to work through your costs. There isnt your money and her money, you are becoming a union. You may earn more, but she'll be the future mother of your children and ruining her body for the privilege.

How my wife and I do things is that our money is all ours. I tend to get paid a lot in cash, so i often pay for groceries etc. My wife gets paid into the joint and that covers all the bills and mortgage.

But everything is equal. Our financial decisions are equal. If I am making a sacrifice, its both of us making it.

I think you need to go through the process of exploring what you are spending on total on everything. Those agreements/liabilities you entered into before the relationship are your own to sort out. Things like car loans will run their course in a couple of years, the child maintenance might take a bit longer.

But as they come up for renewal they become a joint purchase. So that £60 a month phone. The pair of you have to agree that you are getting the best value, the same with maybe some of her excess costs.

The idea pointed above of all the income going into a joint account, and then each of you taking a roughly equal allowance out, which you manage your prior commitments and your own spending. But leaves enough in the pot to pay the bills and save.

Maybe a way to begin this kind of discussion is to talk about how you are going to save for your wedding.

Resentment is not the best way to begin the rest of your life!