How to split our mortgage payments fairly

class2ldn

I reckon if the mortgage is say 1200 then the bills say 500 then 1700 all in.
The mortgage and bills will come out of our joint account so it won't be specifically one person paying the mortgage and one the bills. This is how we do it now, we have a joint account and we bung all our money into it and that covers the rent and tge bills but obviously I'm contributing alot more but then because of our wages maybe it's a fair amount. I guess it's not her fault I've got bills etc for cars and things as she's always been more sensible then me but now I realise it's time to knuckle down amd start saving properly. Just seems alot of my money goes on savings

duchy

If you don't know how much she has left to spend at the moment -then it's time to sit down and talk -

List all of your monthly commitments
Utilities
Transport costs (including car tax insurance and a repair pot)
Food (including cleaning materials and toiletries)
projected mortgage cost
child support
debt payments if any

Literally everything essential regardless of it is your bill or hers

add them all up
add up your joint income

see what is left and divide by two (equally)

Is that amount enough for each of you for personal spending ?

Once you start listing everything - you may both be in for surprises- but it makes sense to do this before comitting to a mortgage - and if you get into the habit of a joint budget rather than his and hers money now it'll set the tone for when you have a joint mortgage and or are married.

class2ldn

My outgoings are as follows.
330 pm child maintenance
317pm car loan
261 pm car loan dont ask it ends this year thank God
82 pm on car insurance
120pm on petrol
60 pm on phone
775 rent.
Plus expenses like food at work etc.
As you can see it's a big chunk out of my wages which is why after saving I'm not left with nowt. This doesn't really bother me as I'm not a big spender on things but I just want to know how we know we are doing it fairly. The issue if we split up is as people have said is what is she entitled to in the share of the house. If i put in a figure each month covering all the rent then surely I'd be likely to get a bigger chunk.
Obviously that's not something I want to happen and generally I do look at is as us rather then me and her in a seperate sense.
We have our joint account but we have seperate accounts aswell that our personal bills come out of. Is this a bad idea? I just transfer the money from mine into the joint account and likewise for her. Would it make sense to have our wages go in our joint account? What would we do with the other accounts like our mobiles etc? Just look at it as one bill for both or not?

silvercar

If your relationship is strong enough to support buying a home together then I would say you have to pool everything. You accept her need for hair products etc she accepts your need to pay child maintenance.

I'm not saying one is as important as the other per se, but you both come to the relationship with spending expectations.

class2ldn

Oh I'm not tight by any means, I just want her to pull her weight while we are saving.

BlaEm

A couple I know have, at various points, had unequal incomes. When they started saving for something, they just worked it out by having both salaries paid in to one account. After allowing for any fixed costs (joint or sole - unless it was purely personal e.g. a sole holiday or loan), they would both withdraw the same 'allowance' each month for personal spending or saving.

Edit: You would obviously need to agree what costs are joint or sole. I agree with others that you child maintenance is a 'family' cost so should be treated jointly (or else you account for it by considering your income net of this payment as joint).

They were very strict about drawing up a monthly budget (and I know it took one of the couple some time to adjust!) - but this way they could both spend their allowance freely on what they wanted (hair products, a fancier phone, meals out, gym, whatever!) without begrudging the other. They've continued to work like this ever since and it has really stopped any potential arguments or resentments, as they both feel they contribute equally to the household regardless of whose name the paycheck is in.

I sympathise as a few years ago I was in a relationship with someone who took home less but spent more - I was happier contributing a higher percentage to fixed bills but things went sour because my ex saw these bills as something to pay after the fun money was spent so I'd end up paying even more if he fell short. I regret not fully discussing the issue earlier as it led to a lot of resentment on both sides.

Whatever you decide you must have this conversation before committing and discuss it calmly and fairly and not make any suggestion of resentment. Once the ground rules are set, then you can discuss any concerns you have with her sticking to them.

Tigsteroonie

class2ldn wrote: »

Oh I'm not tight by any means, I just want her to pull her weight while we are saving.

But does she share the idea of saving? Did you come to the decision that you need to save jointly?

btw. the £261/m car loan "don't ask" - was that for your Ex's car? Your fiancee may well resent that amount of money leaving your joint purse to finance something that your Ex has.

class2ldn

Yeah that's a good plan. So what do we do with the sole payments ie my car loan and hers etc keep these in our seperate accounts??

BlaEm

That's something you'd need to agree on. Do you both use the car? If she has her own, you could say the car loan would be yours. It's effectively a capital payment you committed to make because you chose to buy a new car with your expendable income.

Conversely, because you took out the loan before deciding on an arrangement for joint finances you could again say that these are 'fixed' costs but treat any future loans etc differently.

class2ldn

Well my car loan is 317 hers is 170.
Our phone bills are around the same.
Obviously petrol could be split really.
I guess just having one account is better as it's easier to manage.