Fall Out - should I just get over it?

Mojisola

Jagraf wrote: »

My Dad hides £10 notes in my DD pockets etc when he visits. Or under her pillow, or in her make up bag. He does it to spoil her because he wants to, he also knows it can help us out sometimes. I o longer tell him not to, he doesn't listen, and nor should he. Who am I to tell him what to do with his money?

Parents giving money to children and grandchildren because they want to is a very different thing to the offspring asking to borrow money for non-essential treats.

Georgiegirl256

justme111 wrote: »

Well , can you tell me why is it not fine to borrow money for treats from parents ? What is so inherently wrong with it ? Those are the closest people to one on the planet - or not? I borrow money from my father every now and again not because I have emergency but because my money is tied elsewhere and in any case - why is it wrong borrowing even if it is just because one want something sooner rather than later provided that it is repaid ? My father is pleased he can be of help , he feels useful and proud , it gives us opportunity to discuss finances and topic to talk about . I hope that people who think their way of living is the only right one and go about it quite aggressively question their stance.

This is just my opinion, but I was brought up (sorry to the person who said they hate that phrase, but it's true!) that if you didn't have the money for something that you didn't get it, and you saved until you did have the money to treat yourself with. Just because I might fancy a new handbag or a new pair of shoes, doesn't mean I should go running to my parents everytime I get the urge to splurge. Also, I'd still have to pay it back and I hate being in debt to anyone.

There's nothing wrong at all with parents treating their kids, but I think in this particular situation where the Dad isn't happy about the lending of money, well that's when it becomes an issue.

Jagraf wrote: »

Nothing at all. In fact, its quite patronising when others think parents aren't capable of making their own decisions about their own money.

My Dad hides £10 notes in my DD pockets etc when he visits. Or under her pillow, or in her make up bag. He does it to spoil her because he wants to, he also knows it can help us out sometimes. I o longer tell him not to, he doesn't listen, and nor should he. Who am I to tell him what to do with his money?

He sounds a lovely Dad and grandad! But the difference there is that he's doing it off his own bat, he isn't expecting the money back, he's treating his granddaughter, and I think that's lovely and really sweet of him!

Lord knows I've had many cash gifts and treats off my parents in the past. My Dad when he won on the lottery/scratch cards would quite often give me his winnings because he wanted to treat me! :A

Just my opinion though that I would only borrow money off someone if it was an emergency and not for frivolous items.

missbiggles1

Jagraf wrote: »

I don't think it reflects poorly on our family. I'm not sure who would be forced to choose, my parents make their own decisions. It's not about me expecting to come first as their child. It's just their nature.

I couldn't have been a more loved and secure child but, once out of childhood, I knew that my parents came first with each other and always felt that was the right way to be. They were happily married for 50 years and I think more marriages would go the distance if the spouses knew that they were the most important thing in the world to their other halves.

That, to me, is what marriage is all about.

System

Gigervamp wrote: »

And if the treat is an £800 Macbook?

Depends on what its being used for. Work? Well its hardly a treat. For browsing the internet and playing games? Thats a treat.

missbiggles1

Judi wrote: »

Depends on what its being used for. Work? Well its hardly a treat. For browsing the internet and playing games? Thats a treat.

It doesn't depend on what it's used for, although it might depend on whether it's needed or not.

System

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It doesn't depend on what it's used for, although it might depend on whether it's needed or not.

Very true.

justme111

If parents happy to lend money and "child" happy to pay it back - why not imac at £800? Even if it is not paid back - if both parties happy - why not ? Because you were brought up like that you say. Well , you live as you see fit of course, when you judge others and try to convince them your way is best then some better reasons than " because I was told so" usually needed.

pinkandblueshoe

Surely what people do in their own family re lending money is their business? Just because some people think adults shouldn't ever be in the position where they need to borrow money from a family member doesn't mean it won't happen. Not everyone is in the position where they have a savings cushion and life can take unexpected turns. As for the treats issue, if parents want to lend adult kids money for treats, again, their decision.

By the way Im not typing this with a designer bag over my arm my mum bought me, but it seems to me reading this and other threads, some people post with a this is what I think and this is the way it should be for everyone.

It won't be. What other people do with their money is entirely up to them.

Gigervamp

justme111 wrote: »

If parents happy to lend money and "child" happy to pay it back - why not imac at £800? Even if it is not paid back - if both parties happy - why not ? Because you were brought up like that you say. Well , you live as you see fit of course, when you judge others and try to convince them your way is best then some better reasons than " because I was told so" usually needed.

But in this case, one parent was obviously not happy.

balletshoes

Jagraf wrote: »

Nothing at all. In fact, its quite patronising when others think parents aren't capable of making their own decisions about their own money.

My Dad hides £10 notes in my DD pockets etc when he visits. Or under her pillow, or in her make up bag. He does it to spoil her because he wants to, he also knows it can help us out sometimes. I o longer tell him not to, he doesn't listen, and nor should he. Who am I to tell him what to do with his money?

thats not borrowing money though, thats your Dad gifting your DD.