Fall Out - should I just get over it?

spookalili

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Of course she does, he's her husband!

She's maybe getting as fed up as your Dad is at having to continually lend you money and has finally decided "that would be it". I know more was probably said, but those words don't seem particularly nasty to me, just honest.

She's probably had years of your Dad not being happy at lending you money (which is understandable) and has decided it's time you stood on your own two feet.

Totally agree with what cavework has said, and you'd be very wise to take heed of that post.

Continually? Twice in two months is not what I would class as continually and prior to this, I had not lent any money for about ten years (back when I was a lowly student on low income). I apologise if it appears as though I was lending money every weekend to buy clothes and booze, but that really isn't the case.

justme111

Your statement that she does not have trust in you in unnecessarily dramatic and confrontational. She may well have that trust , just choses not to wear it like a flag and shove it down your dad's throat.

Mojisola

spookalili wrote: »

The reason she was saying this is because my dad has a huge issue with her lending me money, always has done despite the fact her entire income is shared by him as he has retired. I have lent them money before and it has never been a problem.

spookalili wrote: »

Continually? Twice in two months is not what I would class as continually and prior to this, I had not lent any money for about ten years (back when I was a lowly student on low income).

I assume you mean 'you have borrowed' rather than 'lent'.

If this is only the second time you've borrowed money from your mother, why is it such a big issue for your father?

Georgiegirl256

spookalili wrote: »

Continually? Twice in two months is not what I would class as continually and prior to this, I had not lent any money for about ten years (back when I was a lowly student on low income). I apologise if it appears as though I was lending money every weekend to buy clothes and booze, but that really isn't the case.

Twice in two months is quite a lot tbh. Well it is in my eyes anyhow.

It really isn't anything to be falling out with your parents over though, it just isn't worth it.

NotRichAtAll

you will regret it. I found out on saturday that my mother had died on 16th june this year i saw her once in 37yrs. Now she is gone i have regrets.

missbiggles1

spookalili wrote: »

A very high chance - but it bothers me that she cares more about making him happy than defending me. I wouldn't mind if I had borrowed money from her several times and not paid her back, but I make a point to pay any money I borrow back as soon as possible.

I'd hope she does - he is her husband, after all.

(Oops, I see I'm not the first to react like that!)

FBaby

I called her back and told her that I no longer wanted the item, she could return it and get a full refund, I would pay back any other money I owe her and that is that.

I have borrowed money from my parents twice in the past six months, neither were particularly high amounts. I have paid them back.

So did you still owe her money or not? You seem to be contradicting yourself. In another post, you say you always pay back as soon as possible. How soon is that?

Could you just have a very different view of what borrowing and paying back means to your dad and your mum is stuck in the middle?

rach_k

The biggest lesson I would be taking from this is that it's never a good idea to eavesdrop! Yes it was her phone that called you, but as soon as you realised what had happened you should have hung up. People who listen in often hear things they don't like.

missbiggles1

spookalili wrote: »

Continually? Twice in two months is not what I would class as continually and prior to this, I had not lent any money for about ten years (back when I was a lowly student on low income). I apologise if it appears as though I was lending money every weekend to buy clothes and booze, but that really isn't the case.

I think for someone of 30 to borrow money from their parents at all (except in times of crisis) is too much and to borrow for something so non essential that you sent it back is a really taking the p.

Torry_Quine

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I think for someone of 30 to borrow money from their parents at all (except in times of crisis) is too much and to borrow for something so non essential that you sent it back is a really taking the p.

that's what I was thinking. It seems wrong to me to borrow money from a parent unless in an absolute emergency.