Full Nest Syndrome

fierystormcloud

francophilissima wrote: »

Our son died in a road accident. I would love to be doing his washing rather than griping about having to wear adequate clothing (which she presumably did while he was living at home)

Bless you. I am so sorry to hear this.

Hopefully, some people will realise how blessed they are to have children, and how blessed they are to have children who WANT to return home.

aloiseb

Ours is only home for the uni holidays and many words have been said! Of course we love her to bits, but the living room /Sky box / cooker being taken over on a daily basis is a bit hard to take. If we lived a more organised sort of life presumably it would be easier to sit down and make rules, but when you end up with " We want to be able to come in and sit down in the living room after work without the curtains closed in broad daylight / having to listen to Graham Norton's audience baying in the background" and having a big argument about how we should now buy a TV for her room.....well......it's more a matter of Natural Consideration. Which we have and she seemingly doesn't.... you can't really regiment things so much in a family home, I find.
Moan over. We still love her to bits.:)

Jagraf

aloiseb wrote: »

Ours is only home for the uni holidays and many words have been said! Of course we love her to bits, but the living room /Sky box / cooker being taken over on a daily basis is a bit hard to take. If we lived a more organised sort of life presumably it would be easier to sit down and make rules, but when you end up with " We want to be able to come in and sit down in the living room after work without the curtains closed in broad daylight / having to listen to Graham Norton's audience baying in the background" and having a big argument about how we should now buy a TV for her room.....well......it's more a matter of Natural Consideration. Which we have and she seemingly doesn't.... you can't really regiment things so much in a family home, I find.
Moan over. We still love her to bits.:)

But you should be running around after her feeling grateful that she wants to be with you because otherwise you really don't love her

DollyDabbler

Jagraf wrote: »

But you should be running around after her feeling grateful that she wants to be with you because otherwise you really don't love her

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

radio_hack

Of course you're not a bad mother just because you've moved on in three years! Goodness knows most mums make all sorts of sacrifices when bringing up children and, at some point, it's only healthy to stop.
Having said that, my experience is quite different. Oldest Daughter has been back home for around 8 months and I love it. We work opposite ends of the day so we still only see each other once or twice a week and I have an unemployed partner who (most of the time!) does the chores. So we've not really *had* to discuss washing/ironing/cooking - or now, I'm thinking, perhaps I'm just avoiding it!
So I agree with posters who say it's better to have a frank conversation with your son otherwise resentment is just going to build. Hope it works out.

Running_On_Empty

It is illuminating that some offspring have returned home after graduation and only then started career planning and actively job seeking. All universities have careers services and those careers advisers are proactive in informing their final year and second year students about the importance of getting the timing right when starting to apply for jobs.
It really is a cheap excuse to pretend that they are too busy too stressed to apply at start of final year, it is a level playing field, the same for all undergrads. So the mother of this particular graduate is right to be concerned that he is drifting.
Graduate employment prospects are better this year than last year and better every year than the financial crash year of 2008 to 2009.
The young man needs to get in touch directly with his university's careers people or contact their opposite numbers at his local university. He is missing out on professional help he has paid for.

pollypenny

Running_On_Empty wrote: »

It is illuminating that some offspring have returned home after graduation and only then started career planning and actively job seeking. All universities have careers services and those careers advisers are proactive in informing their final year and second year students about the importance of getting the timing right when starting to apply for jobs.
It really is a cheap excuse to pretend that they are too busy too stressed to apply at start of final year, it is a level playing field, the same for all undergrads. So the mother of this particular graduate is right to be concerned that he is drifting.
Graduate employment prospects are better this year than last year and better every year than the financial crash year of 2008 to 2009.
The young man needs to get in touch directly with his university's careers people or contact their opposite numbers at his local university. He is missing out on professional help he has paid for.

It's not a level playing field, far from it.

A month before DS's finals his ideal job came up with our county council. He did apply in a rush, but didn't get it, being more concerned with numerous exams and consequent stress.

However, the person who was appointed was on a course assessed in units and had a comparitively small amount if revision and exam stress. DS was examined on whole course.

Andypandyboy

My kids returned home after university, got good jobs and saved up, moved out and bought their own homes. They lived with us for an average of three years after graduating. I can't pretend we didn't have cross words, or annoy each other, or get exasperated, but isn't that part of family life?

Jagraf

My ex husband left university and couldn't get his ideal job. He worked thirty hours in the burger section of a motorway service station, ten hours in a garage, and then volunteered / shadowed in his qualified area for a year. This enabled him to rent his own flat with one other person.

I left college at twenty, and again couldn't find work I. What. Was qualified for. I worked as a secretary for someone's maternity leave in my chosen field. Once the mum came back I changed department and became a temporary PA. I went to college at night and got more qualifications. I then got a permanent job. Through this time I rented a room in a house.

Is there any reason why graduates can't do either of the above? Why do graduates even think they can get good jobs in their chosen fields straight away? They have little or no experience.

pickledonionspaceraider

Jagraf wrote: »

Why do graduates even think they can get good jobs in their chosen fields straight away? They have little or no experience.

I think its young and being naïve to a degree

When we are young, we have a totally different idea of the world, to how it is really like