I am in a mess and don't know what to do

MrsSave

85p? 60p for the yoghurt and 25p for the portion of strawberries. Every day it adds up. When you're £20,000 in debt and need to make cut backs, I personally believe that it's not a bad place to start. Over £300 a year there to throw at the debt?

Feral_Moon

No, £1.60 total for strawberries and yoghurt which lasted two people 4 days = 20p per portion.

Why am I even arguing this point? I can't believe some people can be so petty over such a minuscule amount. Are people in debt not allowed to have any small pleasures in life? You'd certainly think so reading some of the responses here!

MrsSave

That was the price of one dessert. I didn't realise the yoghurt was for 4 days, but anyway who cares?! As I mentioned, it adds up and I saw it as being a small place to save a few pennies. As they say, look after the pennies.......

Op has been asking for ideas. She dismissed all the major ones. I gave smaller ideas, they are also being dismissed. At this rate, her debt will increase as there is no real want to get rid I don't think. I saw other becoming frustrated, and thought maybe little changes will be easier for the op.

I was trying to help, maybe some people can't be helped or don't really want to be helped.

As others have mentioned in this thread......I'm out!

Feral_Moon

From what I've read so far, the OP has the ability to service her debts, even if it means just covering minimum payments for now. She's not at the stage of fighting off debt collectors and bailiffs. Her current task is not to increase those debts any further and I think she's doing a damn good job of that.

It's not easy changing your entire lifestyle, especially one where I gather she had free reign to spend previously but for whatever reason the family income has become more restricted over the past few years. The fact her OH has a year's salary in hand to cover bills/debts certainly isn't ringing any alarm bells to me that means she should feel guilty over spending 20p on a dessert!!

ViolaLass

MrsSave wrote: »

That was the price of one dessert. I didn't realise the yoghurt was for 4 days, but anyway who cares?! As I mentioned, it adds up and I saw it as being a small place to save a few pennies. As they say, look after the pennies.......

Op has been asking for ideas. She dismissed all the major ones. I gave smaller ideas, they are also being dismissed. At this rate, her debt will increase as there is no real want to get rid I don't think. I saw other becoming frustrated, and thought maybe little changes will be easier for the op.

The OP needs to do far, far greater things than save 20p. I get the principle you're trying to espouse but it wouldn't make a difference.

Telling the husband and using his savings to pay off a chunk of the debt, now that would make a difference. Telling him to get a more stable job would also help.

Not much point making tiny changes to save 20p (£73 a year) when such big changes could be made.

satchmo1

MrsSave wrote: »

That worked out at 85p according to the costs given

Cost was 65p actually, and what the OP is looking for is positive support, not high-horsed condescension.


Hope you're feeling better today Use Less?

meer53

Feral_Moon wrote: »

From what I've read so far, the OP has the ability to service her debts, even if it means just covering minimum payments for now. She's not at the stage of fighting off debt collectors and bailiffs. Her current task is not to increase those debts any further and I think she's doing a damn good job of that.

It's not easy changing your entire lifestyle, especially one where I gather she had free reign to spend previously but for whatever reason the family income has become more restricted over the past few years. The fact her OH has a year's salary in hand to cover bills/debts certainly isn't ringing any alarm bells to me that means she should feel guilty over spending 20p on a dessert!!

Thats all true but the OP's health is declining, her OH has no idea about the debt so the years salary means nothing really, and continuing to make minimum repayments isn't helping. The situation isn't going to get any better unless she makes major changes. She is well aware of this, and is trying her best, but the debt would be sorted much faster if she had the support of her OH and parents.

It's not a crime to be in debt, the OP needs all the help she can get, if making small changes such as missing dessert helps, then it's a good suggestion.

Ilona

MrsSave wrote: »

Health shouldn't be compromised, but I believe dessert is a luxury. That worked out at 85p according to the costs given, which is over £310 a year. We personally choose to eat enough with our meal not to need one, and if we were to have one it would be a treat, possibly after Sunday dinner for example.

I totally agree. A dessert is a want not a need. I never have a dessert because my meals are big plates of healthy vegetables. I am full after that, no room.
Ilona

Feral_Moon

meer53 wrote: »

Thats all true but the OP's health is declining, her OH has no idea about the debt so the years salary means nothing really, and continuing to make minimum repayments isn't helping. The situation isn't going to get any better unless she makes major changes. She is well aware of this, and is trying her best, but the debt would be sorted much faster if she had the support of her OH and parents.

It's not a crime to be in debt, the OP needs all the help she can get, if making small changes such as missing dessert helps, then it's a good suggestion.

You say her OH has absolutely no idea about the debt. Can you be entirely sure of that? Unless these credit cards are solely in her name, which I'm not sure is the case, but could be wrong, then I'm fairly certain her OH knows exactly what's going on even if he hasn't raised it as an issue with her.

We know nothing of their relationship dynamics, other than there have been historic problems surrounding debt issues, so I can't see a man, who hasn't even worked properly for the past 5 years so is presumably equally concerned about family finances, would bury his head in the sand and not know what's going on. It also seems he has his private accounts and a separate stash of money to ensure she doesn't bankrupt them and this joint account is purely for his wife's use. He's probably of the attitude that once it's gone, it's gone.

Feral_Moon

Ilona wrote: »

I totally agree. A dessert is a want not a need. I never have a dessert because my meals are big plates of healthy vegetables. I am full after that, no room.
Ilona

Yoghurt and fruit are hardly classed as luxury. They are part of a healthy diet.