I am in a mess and don't know what to do

MrsSave

I truly believe that you haven't had your lbm. If you had, you wouldn't still be spending on your cc. They all need to be cut up. Not some of them, not out away, they need to be gone.

I am very sorry about your illness, but unfortunately it doesn't make any difference to the debts.

At the beginning of each month, I would take out the cash needed for the food shopping/any treats, etc. Put the cash into envelopes and once it's gone it's gone. Your latest soa shows £160 a month on groceries, and you mention £40 a week. Unfortunately they don't add up, which will leave you short. £160 a month, is just over £36 a week.

You need to work out from your soa whether you have any money left over for treats (takeaway, coffee, magazine). If you do, take that money out in cash at the beginning of the month, and again once you've spent it there is nothing left for next month. If you have nothing available for a certain month, then unfortunately that means no treats for that month. If you've had your lbm, you'd accept that.

Groceries - I'm going to pick here, but I noticed in one post you mention some dinner you'd had and then strawberries and Greek yogurt for dessert. Pudding is definitely a luxury. I actually can't remember the last time we had pudding here. Also, what time of day do you shop. I shop at Tesco, and usually around 7:7:30pm. This is when the bread and meat will be at its lowest. Some weeks there won't be much choice, other weeks I can buy loads for a small amount. 3 weeks ago, I bought around £25 worth of meat and bread for around £4. I then fill my freezer with these, and plan my meals at the start of each month around the meat I have in the freezer. You said you don't then fancy what you've planned, again if you'd had your lbm you'd eat it because that was what was available, tough if you didn't fancy it. I try to vary meals as much as possible, we don't usually eat the same thing more than once possibly twice a month. I don't stick 100% to the plan, I sometimes move things around and eat things on different days.

Other than that, there have been plenty of other ideas by other posters, the majority of which you have said you can't/won't do. There is no point in me repeating them. You don't seem to want to take in board what others have said about the underwear, as well as other spends. These spends need to be budgeted for at the start of each month (taking the cash out again would be a good idea). If there isn't money for them then you have to wait until next month. The world won't fall apart if you have to live another week/fortnight in the underwear that you've managed with for the last x weeks/months. Surely not ever pair you owned became unwearable overnight. If so a few pounds in the supermarket would've been a much more sensible option.

I'm sorry about the situation with your husband and the fact you feel you are unable to talk to him. I worry that this will all come out into the open one day, and the added deceit will make the whole situation worse. No one can make that decision for you, though.

I do wish you the best of luck, but unfortunately more changes need to be made before you have any chance of sorting this situation out.

kb_soma

Contact national debt line and ask them what they suggest. That's where I started before I took out my debt management plan. I'm sorry that you're feeling like this and I send you ((hugs)).

It is good that you have started thinking about your debt, but as other posters have said, I also think you need to make some major decisions on how to handle your debt.

[Deleted User]

heartbreak_star wrote: »

*hugs* no matter how harsh we've been, we all want to help...

What has happened? I hope you're alright.

HBS x

I was involved in a car accident. Feeling quite ill and hospital says I must rest until I feel better

Anoneemoose

Thoughts are with you. I suffer from ME and Fibro and I know how hard daily living can be with a chronic illness, let alone something that really knocks your health, like an accident.

Without wanting to 'push you', would now be an opportunity to be honest with your DH? I know it might sound manipulative, but would he be more sympathetic at this point?

MrsSave

uselessnow wrote: »

I was involved in a car accident. Feeling quite ill and hospital says I must rest until I feel better

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Whilst you are home resting, would it be a good time to put an action plan together of how you're going to tackle this problem? Especially as you're not currently in a situation to go out spending!

dawnybabes

Hope you are feeling ok, remember cars are metal and can be replaced - bodies aren't x

[Deleted User]

Sorry for delay in answering but still laid up

To answer a few questions, my grocery bill is £160 every 4 weeks, which is £40 a week

We have dessert every night. The strawberries were reduced to £1 and lasted 4 evenings as did the greek yogurt which was reduced to 60p. We always had a dessert after a meal and it is included in the food costs every week.

Hopefully that answers the queries regarding food figures in SOA

Feral_Moon

I can't believe people are questioning you over having a healthy dessert! Being in debt doesn't mean you can't afford to buy healthy food and even more so where there are existing health issues. Food should never be compromised no matter what.

MrsSave

Feral_Moon wrote: »

I can't believe people are questioning you over having a healthy dessert! Being in debt doesn't mean you can't afford to buy healthy food and even more so where there are existing health issues. Food should never be compromised no matter what.

Health shouldn't be compromised, but I believe dessert is a luxury. That worked out at 85p according to the costs given, which is over £310 a year. We personally choose to eat enough with our meal not to need one, and if we were to have one it would be a treat, possibly after Sunday dinner for example. The op hasn't taken on board many, many ideas by pp's so I added a few ideas which were a lot smaller and wouldn't impact as greatly on the op's life.

But, it seems that they have also been dismissed so I'm not sure what she is looking for here?

Feral_Moon

A dessert costing 20p a portion is a luxury????? :eek: