I am in a mess and don't know what to do

[Deleted User]

I need help please!!!!!!!
I am in a terrible mess with money and I don't know how to sort it out. I have had advice before but I have no real memory of what I was told. I apologise asking for help again but because of my illness my memory isn't as good as it was.


I am approx. £20000 in debt :eek:. The majority of it is mine. OH doesn't know anything about it and he can not find out. The card that we both spend on for petrol, food etc is paid off in full every month.


I can't get my head around how to try and sort it all out.

dawnybabes

Make a cup,of tea and sit down and work out your SOA.

Have you anything you can sell ?

[Deleted User]

How do I do a SOA please?


I think I have sold most things that were around

parsniphead

It's here

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

At the end format for MSE

It can be sorted

Bobarella

It's a statement of affairs (soa) there is a link here on the site somewhere. I hope someone will be along with it shortly.

Nothing is hopeless but you do need to try and focus on what is causing you to overspend so much. Sorry it's got so stressful for you.

sourcrates

uselessnow wrote: »

How do I do a SOA please?


I think I have sold most things that were around

Link here :

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi

I have been there so I can really sympathise. My OH knew we were in debt but didnt know how bad it was, or understand what a mess our finances were in.

Is this debt from before you were together? Although you say the majority of the debt is yours is it really? In my case the debt was mainly from us living beyond our means which was as much OHs fault as mine. I just kept it a secret from him. It took me a while to get my head around this.

Before you post any figures make sure they are accurate - not what you would like them to be! You maybe need to go back over the last few bank statements and work out exactly where your money is going - very scary stuff but very important. You cant work out a plan for the future if you dont know where you are now. There are options but you need to be brave and take control of it.

Good luck. I can absolutely guarantee that there will be someone on here who has been in a worse situation and sorted it out. We have nearly cleared our debts now and although money is still very tight I have learned so much about budgeting and managing our finances.

[Deleted User]

uselessnow wrote: »

I am approx. £20000 in debt :eek:. The majority of it is mine.

Whose is the bit that isn't yours, how much is it, and why are you including it in the balance of your debt?

Seanymph

Everything is better once it's shared. Are you sure you can't tell your husband?

To sort out debt at that level you both need to be onboard really, and you are doing him a huge disservice not sharing it.

[Deleted User]

About £18500 is mine. Rest is everyday living. I spend when my depression kicks in. It has all appeared over last 8 yrs since diagnosed with illness and made redundant.

katsu

Can you get rid of your other cards so you can't spend any more? Cut them up or put them in the freezer etc.

Maybe allow yourself eg £20 per month to spend on treats and have that in cash - if you run out, you have to wait for next month. That way you can still have tasty treats or clothes from the supermarket or charity shop - might be easier than trying to not spend anything?