I am in a mess and don't know what to do

flipperOSN

fairy_lights wrote: »

I think the OP is burying her head in the sand regarding telling her husband, and sadly I don't think she is going to be able to get rid of her debt without him knowing.

I've been lurking on this thread for a while and all I can see is this getting worse and worse the longer the debt remains hidden from the OPs OH. I know it's not exactly easy to admit and own up to but I just don't see how you can do this on your own.

[Deleted User]

There is no reason for oh to know.

Only spent 85p today.

Tomorrow need to go to supermarket to fill the freezer and cupboards.

satchmo1

uselessnow wrote: »

Tomorrow need to go to supermarket to fill the freezer and cupboards.

Hi, Use Less Now, have you made your meal plan for the week/month so that you know exactly what you need to buy and only buy that?


Without telling your OH of your debt, you could ask him to help with meal planning saying that you want to try to cut down on waste, or effort, or want to bulk cook & freeze for when you don't feel well enough to cook.


It's as easy to make a huge mince base then turn it into chilli, Bolognese and cottage pie. And it's easy to bulk the mince base up with extra vegetables and with a cupful of no-soak orange lentils - honestly, you'll never know they're in there once they cook down, and they thicken the mince without using flour.


Tell us your favourite dishes and we might be able to suggest ways to stretch them, or cheaper cuts of meat to use.


Some people use slow cookers, I use a pressure cooker, both mean you can use cheaper meat for melt in the mouth stews.

[Deleted User]

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

I noticed you recently said:


I am concerned by the bit I have highlighted in red - does your OH have savings that cover the lean times when he is not working? This is what I mean by teetering on the edge of disaster.

.

Yes we do have a years salary in the bank if there is no work around

[Deleted User]

satchmo1 wrote: »

Hi, Use Less Now, have you made your meal plan for the week/month so that you know exactly what you need to buy and only buy that?


Without telling your OH of your debt, you could ask him to help with meal planning saying that you want to try to cut down on waste, or effort, or want to bulk cook & freeze for when you don't feel well enough to cook.


It's as easy to make a huge mince base then turn it into chilli, Bolognaise and cottage pie. And it's easy to bulk the mince base up with extra vegetables and with a cupful of no-soak orange lentils - honestly, you'll never know they're in there once they cook down, and they thicken the mince without using flour.


Tell us your favourite dishes and we might be able to suggest ways to stretch them, or cheaper cuts of meat to use.


Some people use slow cookers, I use a pressure cooker, both mean you can use cheaper meat for melt in the mouth stews.

I am sat writing a list and menu plan whilst reading this forum. I have been through the cupboard to see what is lurking in there.


Our favourite dishes are Risotto, Pasta Bolognaise, Chilli, Sausage casserole, Macaroni Cheese, Liver, bacon and sausage casserole, Broccoli and cheese pasta bake, Jacket Potato with beans and cheese


I have a slow cooker that gets used in the winter for casseroles etc

satchmo1

Great to see you're menu planning and thanks for the list of favourites, can any forumites make MSE suggestions here?


My DH, who could eat baked beans on toast four times a week, says Lidl's beans are better than Hein\s (guess that brand) and the juice is thicker = a plus in his opinion. Try a tin and see how you fare, as they're much cheaper.

Willowpop

satchmo1 wrote: »

My DH, who could eat baked beans on toast four times a week, says Lidl's beans are better than Hein\s (guess that brand) and the juice is thicker = a plus in his opinion. Try a tin and see how you fare, as they're much cheaper.

Everyone in this house would agree with your DH. Their beans are all we buy now.

sugar23

hi, i have read your thread twice. you dont seem to want to change much and use excuses alot ... you say your parents brought you the underwear to make you smile. this is where you need to change your mentality with money. in the past i have had times where i would waste money on 'things' needed or not and i would get a buzz and i would feel great .. for a few hours and then id feel rubbish again so id treat myself again and you just end up in a vicious cycle. now i get a buzz from seeing my debt decreasing and wasting £5 on a coffee makes me feel guilty. you really need to change the way you think about money. and you seem very reluctant to change things, your illness is not an excuse there are ways round things. im not suggesting you get rid of the car as it makes life easier. but you really need to re-evaluate how you look at things and stop using your illness as a reason to your finances. either suck it up and deal with it head on or sink in the sand the decision is yours.

YOUR in control YOUR the only one who can change it ... no body else.


many have made numerous suggestions to you and all you seem to do is have a reason why you cant try the suggestion.


To be honest. i don't believe you have had your 'light bulb moment' and think your head is still firmly in the sand

the choice is yours. everyone on this board will help you, if you start taking things on board, but no body can help you if you wont help yourself

rockm87

I think those that are frustrated with this OP need to leave it alone. You can't help everyone, and some people arent willing to sacrifice to get ahead.

They will continually believe they are getting ahead making penny savings while throwing away pounds. But it's up to them. This is just an advice forum, they dont need to take the advice, and you dont need to listen to them complain.

peaceandfreedom

rockm87 wrote: »

I think those that are frustrated with this OP need to leave it alone. You can't help everyone, and some people arent willing to sacrifice to get ahead.

They will continually believe they are getting ahead making penny savings while throwing away pounds. But it's up to them. This is just an advice forum, they dont need to take the advice, and you dont need to listen to them complain.

The OP is trying to clear her debt mountain with a teaspoon and people find it hard to just stand back and watch without trying to help. I think this frustration is why a lot of people have bailed out of the thread.

Use Less Now - I'm so glad your OH has a year's salary put to one side and I wish you luck with your debt-busting.