B!tchy workmates

GobbledyGook

"Ouch, did you mean to be quite so rude/offensive? Are you ok?"

Makes the point, makes very plain you are not going on attack (so can't be turned on you) and gives a very good base for in future saying "You know I don't like those kind of comments."

Domayne

"Real men like curves not sticks"

Actually, "Real men" like all different types of shapes. Thin shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, don't do it.

suejb2

I don't like confrontation but sometimes I release my inner sarcastic self !

Do you get up early to practise being a bi#ch or does it come naturally?

I wish you worked as much as your mouth does.

Oh I forgot. You own the right to be rude, don't you?

Fireflyaway

I used to work with a woman like this. She was always so into shoes / hair / fake tan etc and showing off about her holidays / home improvements etc. She was so boastful. She would always put people down if they were not the same or ever made a mistake, but be sure to make the bosses aware if she had done something good. After about 4 years of this we were in a meeting and got onto the subject of kids. She suddenly went quiet and then announced that she always wanted kids but it never happened. She had a tear in her eye and nearly started crying. That's when I realised she was always nasty to the woman with kids and a happy family life. I think bullies normally do pick on people who have something they envy - it makes them feel better than admitting to themselves that they are jealous.
For all you know she may have an eating disorder or an unhappy family life, debts, or envy something about you.
I would deal with it by telling her nicely to give it a rest. If she makes a comment, don't respond, just walk off. You could always try to give her a compliment ( even if its fake! ) if she feels she has a quality you admire she might warm to you and ease off the nasty jibes.

thorsoak

"Do you not realise just how offensive such remarks could be to someone who is not a size 12? One day someone will report you to HR"

Then walk away.

j.e.j.

I wouldn't threaten to report her. Someone like that is likely to either make spurious counter-claims, and/or come back at you with even more b*tchiness, just in a more subtle way.


The joys of working in an office full of women..

balletshoes

Giggidy wrote: »

Just needed to vent a bit, and b!tch about a b!tchy b!tch of a workmate I tend to generally get on with most people, and quite enjoy back and forth banter taking the pee out of each other or having a laugh at my expense.

However there always seems to be one person who crosses the line and who "jokingly" completely decimates your character and uses every opportunity to tear you to shreds. I work with a girl like this, who at times can be quite nice but constantly makes digs about peoples appearances, criticising their work and just belittles and !!!!!es and moans. Its just not me, a few have been in the firing line, but Im really starting to resent this because its starting to get personal. Im a girl who enjoys her food , a bit too much sometimes but Im by no means rolling out of bed in the morning, and this girl, who of course is rake thin has decided to tell me to "..start trimmin down for the summer hun.." or "..."you should eat a salad luv..." And today when someone else was about to throw the leftovers of their lunch away she said "oh ......will it eat it ha ha ha (meaning me!) 😤

Im not a soft touch in fact at times I can be hot headed and will not put up with being treated like an idiot and I have spoken to this person about their unnecessary comments and it just gets laughed off. I just get thrown a bit when she will be a nice normal person and then from left centre she sucker punches me with another insult so I dont always have the right response at the time which annoys me even more because when I do its too late and seems like Im over-reacting. I try to avoid interacting with her but its difficult when u work together.

Anyway enough waffle, how do I deal with this and not let it wind me up so much?

you take her aside, and you tell her you don't like the personal comments about your weight/appearance, and you'd like them to stop immediately.

Some people really do need it spelt out to them, especially in a work environment where "banter" is the norm.

paddyrg

'F... off you snidey harridan. If you want a fight about it punch me here and now and we'll finish this with all these witnesses, otherwise shut up, f... off, and keep your vile comments to yourself'

...

'Oh I was 'only joking' too'.

Doing this in front of witnesses will stop it dead - it's up to her to double down (hit you and get fired) or just have to swallow her petty power games knowing you're not standing for them in front of her gang.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

'I'd have a salad if I were you, love'

Stop dead in your tracks. Give her The Look.

'Really? Are you sure you meant to say that to me?'

Wait for a reply. Raise eyebrows, still not moving. (Think of how two cats stare at each other. Usually one backs away with their ears flattened after a period).

If she goes in for another try, a low growl 'are you sure you really want to do this?', 'Back off' with an optional 'I mean it', very low and clipped, usually does the trick.

I deal with potentially volatile teenagers regularly. Taking this approach basically sums up how a kid who thinks she's an Alpha Female ends up slinking away, never attempting to do anything like it again.


And if she doesn't get the hint, simply file a Greviance about her. And don't hesitate to repeat this if she doesn't get the hint after being hauled through HR and given a final warning.

barbiedoll

splishsplash wrote: »

Next time she says anything, stop everything, look her straight in the eye and say 'Wow, you're rude'. Then keep staring at her. Do not break eye contact.

Do it every time. No heat, no anger, just 'Wow, you're rude', then stare until she caves.

She'll learn...

^^^^This....it will work.

I have a colleague who is incredibly rude, she is very full of herself and for some reason, thinks that she is better than everyone else.
I am a "junior" colleague (in position, not age!) and she has always spoken to me like I'm something she scraped off her shoe. She did it once too often and I ended up loudly proclaiming "God, why are you so bloody rude?" Then I walked out, slamming the door loudly behind me (in hindsight, that was probably a bit childish but I was very cross!)

Other people who were in the room at the time, told me that they had never heard anyone stand up to her before.

Now, she hardly ever speaks to me, which suits me just fine!