B!tchy workmates

Birdie85

You're a size 12 and she's making fat jokes about you??? Jeez, would hate to see how she is with *actual* fat people! :mad: Maybe she has to work really hard at being a rake and you can enjoy food and still be slim so it's touched a nerve?!

Just send her this! :rotfl:

fivetide

"oh ..... will eat it"


"Nah you dig in love. Might help you get some breasticles"

Errata

She's doing it to get a reaction, which you kindly supply. Ignore her, don't give her what she wants.

Topcat1982

duchy wrote: »

"Lovely top.....My Mum has one just like it"
"Real men like curves not sticks"

.

I don't think making comments about her appearance is the answer. That would make the OP as bad as her.

I like the thing the other person said about I can lose weight but you'll always be ugly on the inside

x--weezy--x

Take a note of the time and date of all the remarks and what was said - even keep a draft email with all this so it's not something lying around on your desk - and report her to HR.

As you said she's already had one formal complaint, please don't brush off her remarks and try to ignore her - she isn't going to wake up one morning and magically become a better person!!! People like her make work a living hell for the everyone else, this time next year she may have moved on to more personal attacks, don't let things get to that stage. If HR won't do anything get in contact with your local union to see what other means of complaint you have available to you.

Can you imagine if you were in a restaurant and the waiter or waitress made a similar remark, that you'd eat everyone else's leftovers? You'd walk right out of there and refuse to set foot in the place again! Or if you found out the same thing happened to your best mate/brother/Mum? You'd be livid! Do not let her ruin your working environment, she needs to face the consequences of her horrible remarks.

fivetide

Topcat1982 wrote: »

I like the thing the other person said about I can lose weight but you'll always be ugly on the inside

I think that doesn't come across in the right way. The OP at a size 12 is hardly in need of a drastic diet plan.


The best suggestion so far has been simply "did you mean that to be as nasty as it sounded?" That puts the person right in the spotlight and highlights their behaviour.


Beyond that, a whip smart comment with a bit of humour wouldn't go a miss. If she is being laughed at rather than simply trying to embarrass others the protagonist will stop.

codemonkey

The best way to shut her down imo? Call her on her attention seeking behaviour. Say something like "Awww, do you need attention again?'

jaylee3

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

To which you should reply...."and you'll be eating my fist if you make one more remark about my weight....luv!"



People like that are basically projecting their own insecurities on to you.

I agree.

My friend had a baby last year, and she was at work (she went back after 4 months) and the baby had kept her awake half the night, and so she was tired at work and was yawning a bit.

This girl said to her 'you look weary and tired,' and she said 'I am shattered because the baby kept me awake some of the night,' and the girl with her said 'well you didn't HAVE to have it! God I am sick of mothers moaning and whingeing about their babies: don't have 'em if you don't want 'em!'

My friend who was tired and teary with PND anyway, said quietly 'oh you meanie' and the other girl said '*Sue doesn't like children' and they both moved away. My friend crept off to the toilet and sobbed. It was a totally unnecessary and vicious attack. The girl who said it sneered at my friend like she was somehow pleased with her comment.

I don't know what issues she had, and it's not like she was a childfree person who had been nagged to death by people; she was only 23! But this girl was horrible, and upset my friend a lot.

My friend's husband said she should have said 'you are not having kids then?' and when she said 'NO WAY' she should have looked her up and down and said 'probably for the best... '

But it's always later on isn't it, when you think of something to say! :mad:

*disclaimer: not her real name.

Mojisola

Bennifred wrote: »

What you need is a stock reply which will fit any !!!!!y remark she comes out with. Something along the lines of (hurt voice) Did you mean that to be as !!!!!y/nasty as it sounded?

I'd go with this - call her out on her comments every time.

marisco_2

Giggidy wrote: »

Anyway enough waffle, how do I deal with this and not let it wind me up so much?

Quietly saying "Are you having a bad day?" tends to confuse the hell out of rude types and calls them on their [EMAIL="!!!!"]!!!![/EMAIL].