B!tchy workmates

Birdie85

I don't think the 'Mum' jokes are the way forward Giggidy. You don't know why a comment like that struck a nerve and don't want to get in trouble if she turns it around on you.

Mojisola, and previous posters, are right; call her out directly for being rude (I like the idea of asking if she's in a bad mood/meant to be so rude etc) and don't respond in kind.

belisha-beacon

Giggidy wrote: »

I dont quite get your point, Ive said numerous times I dont want to resort to being as horrible as her by being personal but I dont think ignoring her or staying quiet will help. I dont judge her at all on her outward appearance so Im not sure why Im a bad as her??

Perhaps you read it as me saying "eat a salad luv... or your filing is so untidy " I would never say this to anyone, this is actually what she said to me. I just meant I would respond to her comments with jokes ie your mum wants her shirt back

But the point is that she's dressing up her comments as 'harmless jokes'. If you do the same back, she's managed to suck you into her world and made you just as bad as her. If you don't find it's acceptable, then it's not acceptable, so don't legitimise it by doing it yourself. And you say you don't want to be personal in your replies to her, but that you're going to use the Mum thing because it gets to her. So you do know, deep down, that she takes that personally for some reason. And you don't judge her on her appearance but you're going to make snipes about how she looks in what she chooses to wear?

You don't have to ignore her or stay quiet. It's normally really effective if you calmly call her out every time she does it. As people have suggested, "Did you mean to be that rude" and so on. And if the pattern carries on, "Have I done something to upset you, I don't understand why you constantly seem to be undermining me with jibes", or something similar.

With bullying and harassment, the first stage always needs to be to let the person know how their behaviour seems to you. Some people genuinely don't realise how upsetting they're being. If you give her the chance to realise how upsetting she's being and she carries on, then identifying the pattern will mean other people will start quietly looking out to see if what you've said is true. It would provide you with support if you did need to make an HR complaint, but most importantly it might stop her doing it at all if colleagues are all disapproving.

Kim_kim

Giggidy wrote: »

I dont quite get your point, Ive said numerous times I dont want to resort to being as horrible as her by being personal but I dont think ignoring her or staying quiet will help. I dont judge her at all on her outward appearance so Im not sure why Im a bad as her??

Perhaps you read it as me saying "eat a salad luv... or your filing is so untidy " I would never say this to anyone, this is actually what she said to me. I just meant I would respond to her comments with jokes ie your mum wants her shirt back

Call her out - look her straight in the eye & say "that's a mean/rude/hurtful/horrid thing to say, why on earth would you think that's appropriate/acceptable?". If she carries on - repeat .

NICHOLAS_2

Giggidy wrote: »

Nice try Nicholas :T

Pm it me if you don't want the others to see :money:

:D