Girlfriend left me over Pokemon

lynsayjane

I guess the whole thing depends on much larger circumstances than just the wedding and tournament.
I had an argument with my ex as he chose to go to a football game (not a big game either) rather than come with me to my mothers birthday meal. While to some this may seem an over reaction on my part it was actually part of a bigger problem, I've spent a lot of my adult life single and never had anyone to go with me to events like this. I genuinely felt excited at going to an event with someone and not facing the 'when will you settle down' question as if it is that simple to do. When he then chose a game over me I was devastated.

I think the best option for you is to try and have a heart to heart with your gf to find out if there is a larger situation, especially if you don't want this to be the end of the relationship.

Best of luck.

AshKetchum

Thanks for all the replies everyone.
Let me just say that I have never ever neglected my gf to watch/play pokemon. We go out regularly, either together, with friends or individually with our friends.
If she had have asked me to the wedding and I had no plans, I would be more than happy to go with her...the problem was that I already had plans, and it wasn't like I hadn't mentioned the tournament to her previously, and I didn't want to cancel it to go to somebody -who I don't even know- wedding. Although now I see it would have been more for the sake of my gf and not them.
After a long talk with my gf last night though, the problem is, when we first met, we both agreed we never wanted to get married and have children....Now suddenly, she has changed, probably due to a lot of friends and family getting married recently and starting families and she is starting to want these things.
Which at the minute is still leaving us at a crossroads because I still don't want marriage and babies.
So...I don't know where we will go from here yet.

JasX

Hummm....

Age 30-32ish does not seem an unreasonable or unusual age for these things to start getting some serious consideration.

Good luck finding a plan and a way forward!

reehsetin

meer53 wrote: »

OP, if i were your GF, i'd hate to have to explain to my grown up friends that my BF couldn't be with me because he was at a Pokemon Tournament. I'd be embarrassed to be honest.

Because you care about the opinions of snobby people (let's face it they are if they're that judgmental about what a grown person chooses to do with their spare time) rather than what your partner in life enjoys and loves?

Domayne

I'm 31 and I still love pokemon too - nothing to be ashamed off, there are much worse things to be into imo!
I don't have any real advice but the same thing happened to me on that my ex bf left me over a game (neopets) In fairness though, I was majorly obsessed and was on it all day long and spending more than £500 every month on it. He'd been telling me for over a year he wasn't happy...but I was too blind/oblivious to hear him and now 3.5 years later, I still hate myself a little for not hearing.
Good luck op I hope you and your gf can sort things out.

laughingcow81

AshKetchum wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies everyone.
Let me just say that I have never ever neglected my gf to watch/play pokemon. We go out regularly, either together, with friends or individually with our friends.
If she had have asked me to the wedding and I had no plans, I would be more than happy to go with her...the problem was that I already had plans, and it wasn't like I hadn't mentioned the tournament to her previously, and I didn't want to cancel it to go to somebody -who I don't even know- wedding. Although now I see it would have been more for the sake of my gf and not them.
After a long talk with my gf last night though, the problem is, when we first met, we both agreed we never wanted to get married and have children....Now suddenly, she has changed, probably due to a lot of friends and family getting married recently and starting families and she is starting to want these things.
Which at the minute is still leaving us at a crossroads because I still don't want marriage and babies.
So...I don't know where we will go from here yet.

This is obviously a much bigger problem - I don't have any advice except if you do try and stay together please don't pretend / assume / hope that you might change in the future and keep her hanging on - I have a friend going through the same thing with her BF and he said a year ago he was "coming round" to the idea of having children, but a year on he seems to have reverted back which leaves her in a state of limbo.

Good luck, I hope you sort something out for both of you.

AshKetchum

Thanks laughing. I don't want to lead her on and make her think that I will also change my mind and start wanting marriage/kids. I love her so much and can't imagine my life with anyone else but I do not want to get married and have kids and I know my mind won't change. So what do I do? My choices as I see them are

1 - Break up and let her find someone who can give her what she wants
2 - Stay together and get married and have a family and hope that I do not end up in resentment
3 - Hope that she will change her mind again and realise that she does not want marriage/family

Worry_Wart

How old is your girlfriend? If she's in her late twenties or early thirties let her go. She needs to find someone else more suitable and she still has time.

meer53

reehsetin wrote: »

Because you care about the opinions of snobby people (let's face it they are if they're that judgmental about what a grown person chooses to do with their spare time) rather than what your partner in life enjoys and loves?

No, because i feel that the OP's partners hobby is one that is more suited to an 11 year old.

KRB2725

I always knew I never wanted children, turns out I didn't know as much as I thought I did as I now have two!

Not everyone changes their mind, I understand that, but if you can't see a change of heart happening then split and let her meet someone that wants the same things.

Marriage and children are not issues where there is room for disagreement. The resentment caused, whichever one of you compromises, is quite likely to split you up anyway.