Girlfriend left me over Pokemon

AshKetchum

Hello all. I'm not a new user but this is a bit embarrassing and I would rather not expose my real username.
My gf and I have been together for 6 years. I have been a huge pokemon fan since I was in school (15 years ago) and it was never really a big issue for us (Or so I thought...) I mean I knew my gf thought it was a bit sad to still love pokemon at my age but I didn't know it was a deal breaker for her?
Every year I go to a pokemon tournament and this year is no exception, I have one on the 20th June which has been planned for months.
A few days ago my gf told me we are going to a friend from her works wedding, which was the first I had heard of this, and it happens to fall on the 20th June.
I have refused and said that I already have made plans to attend a tournament.
All hell broke loose and she accused me of caring more about pokemon than her, That she is sick of my obsession, That I need to 'grow up' and she doesn't want to be with me anymore
I don't know what to do. I mean I don't feel like I'm 'obsessed' with pokemon but this has been planned for a long time and I don't even know this friend whose wedding she wants to go to. Or did want me to go to since she doesn't want to be with me anymore?
We are still living together, haven't really spoken since the fight on Monday. What should I do?

marisco_2

Comes across as if she has wanted to bail out of your relationship for a while and this situation has given her a reason to put the blame on you. If you meant anything to her she wouldn't throw around ultimatums and be so totally unreasonable.

AshKetchum

Thanks Marisco, That is what my thoughts are too, that this is to do with something completely other than Pokemon because this is the first time in 6 years she has gone nuts about it.
If I'd already agreed to go to the wedding and then changed my plans to go to a tournament I could understand. But it's already booked and she has told me about the wedding last minute, I don't see why I should have to change my plans for someone's wedding that I don't even know.
The trouble is I love her and we have been together for 6 years, I'm not ready to just walk away

GlasweJen

Could you attend the tournament in the morning then go to the evening reception at the wedding?

If this isn't enough ask your girlfriend what this is really about? My OH is obsessed with fishing, it's something you learn to deal with.

AshKetchum

Thanks GlasweJen I actually could! The tournament starts at 11.30am and finishes at 1.30pm! Not sure why I didn't think of a compromise!
I'll try and talk to my gf - If she still wants me to go!

fivetide

Tell her she doesn't have enough badges to control you

JasX

Do generally make sure this pokemon thing isn't casting an unreasonably large shadow over the relationship tho. These things are all about balance.

ie Tournament 1-2 times a year max and only occasional casual play = good place to be. With plenty of time for paying attention to girlfriend and doing say, vaguely cultural stuff other weekends...

Multiple tournaments a year and an unreasonable portion of income spend on pokemon, plus online pokemon casual play most evenings after work instead of paying attention to girlfriend = bad place to be and expect to be single if things don't rebalance sharpish.

Trust me, the 5-6 year checkpoint of a relationship is probably where both parties are taking stock over whether the 'long term average' attention they're currently getting from / giving to each other and overall state of life is acceptable for the longer term or not.

JasX

Maybe as well as the split day compromise proposing doing something else together for a weekend in the very near future (do come up with a few rough possible plans and don't be completely vague), would be a good thing to be bringing to the table too...

geerex

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
You pokemon!!!

Seriously OP, you'll get through this. You gotta catch 'em all.

DUTR

JasX wrote: »

Do generally make sure this pokemon thing isn't casting an unreasonably large shadow over the relationship tho. These things are all about balance.

ie Tournament 1-2 times a year max and only occasional casual play = good place to be. With plenty of time for paying attention to girlfriend and doing say, vaguely cultural stuff other weekends...

Multiple tournaments a year and an unreasonable portion of income spend on pokemon, plus online pokemon casual play most evenings after work instead of paying attention to girlfriend = bad place to be and expect to be single if things don't rebalance sharpish.

Trust me, the 5-6 year checkpoint of a relationship is probably where both parties are taking stock over whether the 'long term average' attention they're currently getting from / giving to each other and overall state of life is acceptable for the longer term or not.

I disagree, I used to play tournament chess and travel up and down the country as well as some other countries. Sometimes my GF would come along but I would hire a flatlet so she could enjoy the weekend too.

Kernow666

did you get her to dress like this